Last Song
by SteamFriedDumpling
Summary: She was once his most precious person, before that fateful accident that took everything. Now she comes back to his life, not as a lover but as a friend. TO spend the remainder of her life, watching him smile, laugh, cry and fall in love...
1. Chapter 1

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_**Chapter 1: Eyes on Me**_

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His supposedly peaceful and calming morning shattered into pieces s the annoying fervent buzzing of his doorbell finally snapped his nerves. At first, he tried to ignore the buzzing by covering his ears with pillows but it didn't worked. Then he tried to stuff his ears with his earpiece and pillows. A brief 5 minutes of heavenly silence granted his a taste of his precious sleep, only to be shattered by the annoying knocking on his door followed by the buzzing of his doorbell.

Just what are those securities doing?

And who the fuck would dare to intrude a star like him, at a time like this?

Grabbing whatever was in reach to cover his nakedness, he marched his way to the door, armed with all the anger pooling in his head now.

He grabbed his phone by the counter and took a deep breath as he opened the door. "WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU…'

Before he could even finish his line, a young man wearing a beret, in what appears in his early 20's shoved a duffel bag in his stomach and made his way inside his suite.

"WHAT THE FUCK? SECURITY!! WHERE ARE THESE FUCKED UP SECURITY!" He kept howling for securities as he followed the man inside his suite, who had made himself comfortable in his favorite lazy boy couch, watching tv.

"HOW DARE YOU SIT ON MY COUCH? AND WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE—"

The man turned the volume higher, trying to drown his voice, but He knew better as he turned the tv off, from the unit itself.

"My, My, I never thought gay rock stars can be so irritable in the morning…Did you boyfriend dumped you last night?" The man kept his head down as if trying to avoid something.

"What the fuck!"

"Am I right? I mean, you're all naked and you seemed so mad at the whole wide world and stuff. Or was it because my dear brother dumped you?"

"Eh? Brother? Don't tell me…you're Yamato's brother?" Shit. Whatta great stunt you just pulled there, Zala.

"Yeah, I believe he did informed you of my arrival, and it seemed it was even you who arranged my lodging in here, in your suite." He watched 'him' stood up pass by him to turn the tv on.

"Then why didn't you say so!" Shit. Now knowing of this man's identity, he was able to cool down a little. Enough for him to remember Kira's favor from last week.

"_Dude, remember my sister?"_

"_Yeah, what's her name again, Cagari? Or was it Cami?"_

"_Cagalli, dumb ass!"_

"_Yeah yeah, so what of it?  
_

"_Remember that chic you wanna hook up with from that Musical festival, but you couldn't cuz of this weird image you set up on yourself?"_

"_Dude, get to the point, willya!"_

"_My ol' cute sister has turned into a weird tomboy, and I need her to turn into a lady in a year, just in time for her engagement."_

"_So?"_

"_And since you wanna take this 'gay' image of yours to get that chic to sleep with you, I was thinking…"_

"_What?"_

"_If you could turn my cute little sister to a sexy and cute babe in a year, or less, I fix that messed up image of yours and pair you up with that babe."_

"_Doesn't sound that promising to me… "_

"_Dude! How easy do you think is it to fix this crap you made of yourself? I mean, yeah, pretending to be some homo was a good idea to ward of female stalkers and stuff, but you didn't thought of the other consequences huh, you moron!"_

"_I'm not listening…"_

"_Gawd, ok, I'll throw in that bike you wanted from me. Sounds good?"_

"_Yeah, but, why don't you just ask Lacus to fix Cagalli for you?"_

"

"But why the hell should it be me?"

"_Yeah yeah…"  
_

"_So it's deal then? I'll set her up as your assistant. I'll take care of the other stuff tomorrow. Yeah?"  
_

"_Whatever."_

Now here she is, sitting in his couch, all cocky and stiff, just like how Kira described.

Wait.

He's a she right?

With out thinking twice he grabbed her shoulders forcing her to face him, not knowing that he was twisting her in a way that made her fall on her back, with his on top of her.

Straddling her.

With him NAKED.

Her beret flew off, revealing a soft mane of amber that reflected the orbs he found himself staring at. It took him minutes for him to realize that his hands were in not the proper place where they should be, and her hand made sure he knew and will remember all times.

A hard slap echoed throughout the suite as the security personnel finally arrived, just in time.

"Are we intruding something sir?" The guard automatically turned their back on them, as he stood up. "Yes you good for nothing slowpokes! NOW SCRAM!"

He never felt this humiliated before as he stretch a hand to her, only to be slapped back. But at that time, he thought, he saw the old little girl he liked so much from before. But maybe he was just hallucinating, as fierce orbs of fiery amber met his soft emerald orbs with a clash.

"First of all, I don't dig homos, 2nd if you have problems with me here, then deal with it. Cuz whether you like it or not, you'll stuck with me for a year. If you have problems with it, then go talk to that sonavabitch friend of yours! And 3rd, FYI, I'm a full blooded woman, so sorry to burst your bubble. But don't worry, I wont tell the media about you idling around with your boyfriends, as long as you mind my privacy!"

He was in deep awe as he watched she stood up, full of spirit. No wonder Lacus gave up on her.

"Oh, and one more thing, I don't care if you like strutting around butt naked, but, I do, so please before I decide on hacking something you deeply cherish off, put something on. And do something about that boner, before I lose my patience and I chop it off."

He smiled as he watched her pick up her duffel bag and leave his suite with out saying goodbye or as to where she's going. Judging by the way she acted, there's still some strands of feminity inside her. He just have to tap into them.

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And that day was the start of Athrun Zala's troubles. Aside from the everyday dealings with crazy fans, temperamental media people and not to mention annoying paparazzi and publicists, adding Cagalli to his everyday life seemed like having a hurricane rip off his insanity. 

Just like, today. Good ol' tabloids got a sniff of Cagalli's presence and decided it would be such a nice idea to put her up as their headliner. The only catch is…

'WHO IS HE! BLONDE HOTTIE SEEN LEAVING ROCK STAR ZALA'S SUITE EARLY MORNING!!"

She's a she, and she came in like late morning, not early. But yeah, she's hot

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you like it? please say yeah..I'm sure you're curious how will Athrun deal with her. so yeah do give me a review...and the vampire arc..I'm working on it..so

READ AND REVIEW!!! give me at least 10...please?


	2. Chapter 2

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_**Track 2: Song**_

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_It was snowing that day, but somehow it felt warm and cozy. It was as if he was being embraced by someone. So warm, so comfortable. He felt someone hold his hand tight. A small hand, a girl?_

_'Ai Oboete Ima suka?'_

"Hey, man, wake up! You're drooling over the sheets!" A hard slap on the back broke the dream into pieces. "The hell?!" Athrun Zala woke with a jolt as Dearka Elsman, his lyricist pulled the music sheets underneath his elbows.

"Second time I caught you snoozing. Not getting any sleep?" Dearka pulled the chair next to him to sit on. Pulling a tattered folder from the pile of envelopes, Dearka began writing down.

"The hell I am. First, I had to deal with that frickin' bitch. All her yapping and whinning, and man, she's more of a slob than Heine! If you see her, you'll definitely will mistake her for a guy!" He stood up to stretch while trying to peek at Dearka's work.

"Sounds intresting. I take it you just came here to get away from her then?"

"Like hell, yeah. Then after she saw the headlines, she began to act all weird and crap, like some schizo freak! I honestly thought she was going to turn into some psycho bitch! Then those sonnavabitches reporters buzzing like bees from hell! Man, this is the first time I had to turn off my phone because of those hounding hordes."

"Hahaha. Looks like it's gonna take a while for you to rid your 'homo' figure."

"Man, seriously, I don't know what got into me, turning my manly figure to the darkside."

"Hahaha, don't worry, you'll get over it."

"You bet I will. Hey, what're you doing?"

"Doing some retouch on that song you gave me from before."

"Oh? Lemme see."

_I kept wandering aimlessly alone  
My faint sighs just turned white  
For some reason my tears overflowed  
At how fleeting each changing season is  
"I still love you now…"_

_As my sadness kept falling and turned to snow  
I looked up at the sky the whole time  
If you hear my prayer before my body fades away  
Hold me tight one more time_

_Even when we didn't understand each other and hurt each other countless times  
You were always tender  
It was carved on the ring you suddenly gave me  
Our promise, still unfufilled  
"I'm still afraid…"_

_My memories are growing further away, but there'll always be incredibly bright  
I wanted to be by your side longer  
We'll never see each other again, but don't change  
You, who was always there for me, by my side_

_I can't erase the last tears you showed to me_

_Even if I disappear with this white snow  
I want to remain blooming in your heart forever_

_Don't forget the warmth we had when we nestled up together and held each other  
Even if you fall in love with someone else  
I want to fall into a deep sleep  
Without ever letting go of the last sound of your voice_

_As my sadness kept falling and turned to snow  
I looked up at the sky the whole time  
If you hear my prayer before my body fades away  
Hold me tight one more time_

"_Hold me tight one more time…"_

"You sure I wrote this?" A doubtful look plastered all over his haggard face, made Dearka's eyebrow twitch with irritance.

"Dude, how can you forget?"

"No seriously, I don't remember writing this."

"GO home! Take a bath, then sleep! You weirdo!" Snatching the piece from his hands, as Dearka pushed him towards the exit. "Comeback after a day or two!" He laughed as he shut the door. An exasperated sigh escaped from Dearka, as he took his seat. "So he still hasn't remembered everything, poor guy."

Feeling defeated and tired, Athrun decided to head back 'home'. 'Home' meaning to that place where that crazy schizo freak is. Seriously, what the heck was Kira thinking, entrusting his weird sister to him, just like that? Even if they were childhood friends, that doesn't mean he could bully him into doing such weird deals. And as if that wasn't enough, dealing with that freak Heine and Rusty, with their weird ideas for his upcoming concerts. Then those blood thirsty paparazzi hounding his tail. Damn, with that schizo chic living with him now, he was forced to buy a house by the Suburbs just to lessen the media crap.

Godamn this life. That 'homo' flick was tolerable, but this isn't…

Oh how he miss his quiet mornings, sipping coffee in the comfort of his chair, while adoring the scenery from the comfort of his veranda. The peaceful moments while reading the morning newspaper with his face on the front page, and all. All gone because of a stupid deal. How stupid can that get?

Taking a deep sigh, as he entered the elevator. As the doors closed, a haggard reflection of his caught his eye. Dark circles around his eyes, unshaved and all wasted. Is this how an 'androgynous' star should look like? Damn, good thing there aren't any paparazzi around this building.

As the elevator door opened, his cellphone began ringing. It was Heine. Perfect timing! Now he has a reason to stay out longer.

"Hey Zala, can you drop by the office? We have something to discuss with you."

"Hmm…as long as it has nothing to do with your perverted schemes, sure."

"Yeah whatever."

* * *

If it wasn't for the sudden ringing of her phone, she would have been staring at the empty corner for over an hour, thinking how useless this façade she's trying to put on. Taking a deep breath, she hesitantly flipped her phone on to check who's calling.

Dearka.

"Hey." A dull pain began pulling at her heart strings, as old memories began flooding in her mind.

"Hey yourself. How are you doing?"

"Good, I think…How'd you know my number?"

"Kira. He told he to look after you. Hmmm…how're you holding up?"

"Fairly well, I think?"

"Mmmm...Doesn't sound like it…are you crying?"

"Ahehe…no silly! I'm chopping onions and---" Wiping her tears with her sleeve, she stood up to turn on the lights in her room. Even after all this years, it still hurts…

"Y'know, you can still go back, I mean you don't have to go through all this. You've suffered enough, Cags, and he…well, it seems he's fairing well."

"I know that…but I still want to try."

"Mmm…Well then, if that's what you want. So what do you think?"

"Hmm? About him?"

"Who else?"

"He hasn't changed a single bit, still the same stupid idiotic moron I knew."

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**A/N: **Yay! I'm back on the Gackt train, and on the writing dunes. I unearthed some of my fix's chapters and will be uploading, err I mean I have uploaded them. Crimson's on its way, so hang on tight! And also, **I'm in need of beta reader! Please! I need one! For Crimson**! Shuiede used to be my beta reader, but lately, she's been busy and all. So help! I'm really friendly and all, ask those who've chatted with me. So please!!!! I'm begging!

Also, I'm planning to write another fix. One mafia type thing, and the long postponed feudal type. Insights are welcome!

**Lyrics from Gackt's Last Song**


	3. Reasons

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_**Chapter 3 :Reasons**_

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_I guess you really have changed…'_

She was almost out of breath by the time she got to the Hospital. It was freezing cold outside, with bouts of snowstorm looming around the corner. It was definitely a bad idea to go out especially for someone with her status, but it doesn't matter. If something where to happen to him, then…

_'But even if that's the case…'_

She thought there would be less people in the hospital around this time, but she was wrong. People began to flock around her, wanting to hold her hand, or catch a glimpse of celebrity. She wanted to push them away, but she was just too weak. She wanted to tell them off, but she couldn't. Already in the brink of tears, she desperately tried to push against the wave of people. But such feat deem impossible. It was like going against the heavy current, with no means of winning. And just when she felt like giving up, a voice pierced through the crowd, gathering their attention.

"People People! Let her through!" It was Dearka. She wanted to say 'thank you' to him, but a cold hand grabbed her arm and dragged her through the horde of people.

"Geez, you owe me big time for this, Sis." It was Kira, grinning like a moron, as always. She wanted to say apologize to him, to admit her faults and all, but no words came out of her mouth. Only silent tears rolling down her cheeks told Kira of how she felt.

"Look, save your voice and those tears. You're as tired as everybody is. I'll take you to where he is right now, ok? Lacus said he's out of surgery already."

A shy smile touched her lips, as she squeezed Kira's hand. He's right. She'll save the words for him…

_'Even if we've taken our own separate paths, remember that you'll always remain here in my heart…'_

Lacus met her in front of the ICU lobby. Without any words exchanged, Lacus threw her arms around her. "Listen, he's out of danger and he's resting right now. The doctors said it might take a while before he wakes up because of the sedation and--"

"Oh cut the bull Lacus." The ICU door opened, and a grim looking Meer appeared. "Why wont you just tell that bitch what's the real deal."

She pushed Lacus off her, but Lacus held her arms tight. "Listen, now isn't the right time to see him—"

"What the fuck are you saying? She should see the fruits of her selfish actions! Getting all worked up just coz' she's some damned star? Are you kidding me?" Meer grabbed her by the hair and dragged her inside the ICU. The Nurses were horrified to see her being dragged like that in a public place, how helpless and pained she looked while being dragged like a rag doll. Lacus followed their trail, begging Meer to stop. But it was too late.

The rhythmic beeps of the monitors, the sound of breathing from the mechanical ventilators, the stench of the heavy chemicals and alcohol in that small room, have all carved their marks on her heart. With heavy steps, she approached the limp form lying on the immaculate white bed. Cables hooked to various monitors and machines, tubings connected to IV bags and drainage bags, and those bandages that wound around this unconscious being…

"…No…" She could barely walk nor stand. Emotions shaking the very foundations of her being. And this heavy feeling that's dragging her chest down. Tears falling endlessly…

"Are you regretting your actions now, you selfish bitch? Are you suffering now? You should be! But wait, that's not the end of it. The doctors said he might end up turning into a vegetable. You know those comatose people you see on TV. Yes, Bitch, he'll end up just like those people. And it's your entire fault! You should carve this down on that stupid brain of yours if you ever have one!" She felt Meer push her down, then planted a kick on her side before leaving. Usually, she'll be fighting back, but she didn't. She just couldn't. Instead, she quietly stood up, made her way to the bed.

Kneeling beside the bed, holding his limp hand tightly, as if praying that by some miracle he'll wake up and show that smile she has always loved.

But that only happens in movies…right?

"The doctors aren't that sure he'll stay asleep forever you know. I'm sure he'll wake up and –"

"…I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…If only…I had just kept my promise…If only I hadn't let things get the better of our relationship…if only…"

"If only what? Stop being a fool. He'll wake up. Don't listen to her. He'll wake up and tell you that everything's all right. That's it's ok…"

Days passed, as days turned into weeks and months, he never opened his eyes. But she never gave up hope. After quitting her celebrity status, she decided to return into the meek and humble life she used to have, and spend the rest of it with him. She'll patiently stay by his side, until he wakes up. Even if it takes forever…

_'I'll never forget you…'_

After a whole year of waiting he did finally woke up. And just like what Lacus said, he had his precious smile on his face, assuring his friends that's everything's ok with him. It was as if he just went into a yearlong sleep…

That what happened on that fated winter night was just a part of a bad dream…

She was overjoyed by that news that she immediately head out to see him. She wanted to say those words she had kept inside her and make up for all those lost times. She would throw her arms around him, and drown him in her kisses. And she'll show him how long has her hair has grown. Now that it's this long, surely he'll be much happier…

But…

With those simple words, her whole world came crashing down. With those simple words that made his last words from that Fated Wintered Night an irony.

"Who are you?"

_**2 years after**_

'So is it true, Athrun –sama, the rumors of you having a relationship with fellow star?' Mirallia Haww, the famous talk show host teased. A loud applause from the audience, followed by cheers and taunts made the man called Athrun laugh. Tossing his midnight black hair, he grinned.

'Well, such relationships are quite ordinary in the Industry.'

'Then is that a 'yes' then? Are you confirming the rumors of you having a gay relationship then?'

'Don't remember saying yes.'

' Hahahaha then what do you imply by your statement earlier then—' Kira clicked the TV off.

"Are you sure about this? It's pretty outrageous not to mention risky, y'know…" With a dismayed expression, he watched as his fiancée Lacus cut his twin sister's hair. Golden blonde strands falling down, reminded him of something in the past.

"I just want to spend what little time I may have with him. I don't mind if he doesn't remember…I just want to stay by his side, just once more. "

"But there are other ways Cagalli!" It was Lacus. Squeezing her shoulders tightly, as if she wants to keep her down and prevent her from going.

"I wanted to see him reach the skies. He gave up his dreams for me, and now, it's my turn to watch over him. "

"But… you'll end up hurting your self, It's enough that you had to go over those years of torment. You've suffered enough…"

"Cagalli…just say the word, and I'll call everything off. You can still back out."

Taking the brush from Lacus, she began dusting the blonde strands off her mantle. "Don't be silly. I wont back out. Everything's been set. And 'sides, I've already cut my hair. That means I've already taken the first step. I cant just back out. Thanks for the help Lacus…"

The couple watched in silence as Cagalli began sweeping the mess. Seeing her with short hair, and that smiling face has really twisted Lacus' heart strings. And not to mention the medical report they had just received…

"Listen, if things go rough, I'm just a call away ok? And if you cant get a hold of me, call Dearka. Or Heine. Ok?"

"Cagalli, please, Kira can still—"

"I'll be fine… don't worry…" She smiled. And just like that, she left for Aprilius to work as Athrun Zala's assistant. And its been almost 2 months since she became his assistant/servant/maid. And even though he was really rude to her, and would ignore her, to her it was still a dream come true. That even if he's such a bastard and all, just being able to stay by his side…

'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? YOU JUST BURNED THE BACON AGAIN!' Like an insulted general ready to chew off his subordinate, he came marching in, clad in nothing but boxers and furry slipper. Normally, she'll be beet red, just by the sight of his naked chest but, now, it doesn't bother her that much. It took her quite a while to control and suppress such emotions, in order for her to gain the 'tomboy' figure.

Ah. Crap.

'It's not like you'll die if I burned the bacon y'know.' She can't help it. Her sense of smell has been messed up lately, because of that medicine. She thought this side effects won't be as bad, but looks like she was wrong.

' Are you planning to burn the house down? What kind of assistant are you? Geez, you're so hopeless! No wonder you don't have any boyfriends! I feel bad for who ever you end up with! Poor sucker!'

'Well at least I don't flirt over with the same gender.' Her heart sudden ached. _Are you unconsciously regretting our past?_

'Look at a mirror will yah? You look like a guy more than I do.' He grabbed the frying pan from her, and sprayed it with water, while turning the exhaust fan on. The smoke from the burned pan began to fill the kitchen as he continued to water it.

'So what? That doesn't mean I'm a homo like you!' She watched the firm muscles on his back move with each movement he makes. Inside her she was dying to throw her arms around that back and tell him everything. Remind him of the past they shared. But that will defeat the purpose of her coming here.

'If it wasn't for Kira, I would have fired you.'

'As if I cared.' She took another pan to cook bacon on it. But he took it away and returns it back to the shelf. 'I'll just have cereals today.' Taking his seat on the breakfast table, he grabs his favorite bowl and waves it at her.

Taking a deep annoyed sigh, she grabs the cereal box and pours a serving on his favorite bowl. Then she goes beside him to reach the milk by the top shelf, accidentally brushing her side against his naked back.

'You stink.'

'Like I care.'

'You should. Cause starting today, you'll learn how to be a lady. I've been busy with all those filming Heine dragged me into so I wasn't able to deal with you, but now that I'm free…'

'I don't need your help.'

'I didn't say you have any options.'

'Look I don't want to be used as an escape rope. It was your fault for trying out the gay crap.'

'So you do know I'm not gay.'

'So what?'

'Then you wont have any complaints if I do this?' Without any warning, he grabbed her hand, pulled her towards him and kissed her. It took her quite a while before realizing what has happened but as soon as she regained composure, a hard slap on the cheek called off the kiss.

'What do you think am I? Some cheap whore? I'm not like those sluts you go sleep with!' Wiping her lips with her sleeve, furious by the sudden attack.

'Hmm…so you prefer being kissed by a woman then?' Nursing his smarting cheek, he bemusedly watched her cute expression. A combination of anger, embarrassment and annoyance.

'I am not a lesbian!'

'Then you'll agree that my kiss felt good?'

'You are such a bastard!' She turns her heel and heads out of the kitchen when suddenly he grabs her arm and pulls her back.

'We're not done yet. Didn't I just say I'd turn you into a lady? And I mean by all means possible.' There was a serious glint in his eyes, as his grip on her arm tightened.

'Damn you pervert! Let me go!' She tried to pull away from his grasp, digging her nails on his hand. But to no avail. Instead, he grabs her wrist his free hand and pins her against the wall. Then with his other hand, he rips off her oversized shirt, exposing the thin camisole and her suppressed breasts.

'So you're not as flat-chested as I thought you were.' That mischievous smile on his lips told her that he's up to no good. That same smile he used to have whenever he was up to something crazy. But that's not the deal here. Seeing her in this awkward situation might trigger some of his lost memories to return and that's the last thing she'll want in a situation like this.

'So is this the part where I should be screaming and struggling while you strip me of my clothes?' Yes! Mocking him used to work on his real good! He should be pissed by now…

'Yes. You better give a good fight, or else I wont enjoy it.' His smile, now of lust and mischief, gave her a serious case of goose bumps. Gripping the neckline of her camisole, he started tugging at the defenseless cloth. Horrified, started to kick him of, while she tries to have her hands free. But the loud ripping sound of her camisole followed by her brassiere told her that it was futile. As the strands of her ripped brassiere joined the remainder of her shirt and camisole on the floor, so has her will power.

'Oh? So you decided not to struggle anymore? Then that's much better. You're a step closer into being a lady!' Why does he still look so nice and handsome even though he looks like a demon now? And why cant her heart stop fluttering? She's going to be raped by her former lover for heaven's sake!!

_But, you've been longing for his touch for so long haven't you?_

_Yes, but…I'm scared it might bring back his memories…He's happy the way he is now…_

_Isnt it a little too late to think about things like that?_

'So you do have decent sized breasts. That's good.' She felt the warmth of his palm as it cupped her exposed chest, sending chills through her spine. As he began to fondle her nipple, his mouth came down on her ear, nibbling its soft muscle, teasing her senses. Gasping as his tongue raked the insides of her ear, down to the curves of her neck, where he nibbled the ticklish area of her neck. The sudden jerking of her body sent an amused smile of his lips, as he forced her down on the floor. There, she lay completely limp with only the obvious rise and fall of her chest, as the only movement of her body. Loosening his grip on her wrists, he kissed her lips gently, then fiercely, and then gently again, before invading it's depths with his tongue.

'I'll turn you to a lady…whatever it takes…'

**A/N:** I'll be changing the title into **'Last Song'** after the day is done. I hope you'll still support this fic!


	4. Gentle Hands

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_**Gentle Words**_

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"_Hey, let's take a picture here!" He felt her pull his arm, scrambling him to his feet._

"_Just how many pictures are you planning to take?"_

"_As many as this camera can take. I want to capture all the memories we shared, so that when I'm gone, I wont be forgotten." Even though she was smiling, her face was a picture of pure melancholy. _

"_Who ever said you're going to die? And hell, who the hell said you'll be forgotten?" He pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her._

_She smiled again. "Just in case. We don't know what the future holds in for us…"_

"_I know that, but I'm just saying, you'll never gonna be forgotten."_

"_You promise? I mean, even if I die, as long as I remain in your memories, then I know, for sure, I lived a good life."_

"_Goddamn it, stop talking about this crap. You're not going to die nor be forgotten. I'll kick the ass of the person who forgets you. So stop talking nonsense." His hands sought hers, weaving an intricate pattern as proof of his words._

* * *

Staring blankly at the ceiling of his shower room, the vivid play of events began playing in his mind. The porcelain white skin, those luscious soft lips, and that smooth terrains of her body. His palms could still feel her body's warmth, and it's softness, his lips could still taste her sweetness, and even under the rage of the cold shower, his burning lust inside would still not ebb down. His whole body, unsatisfied by that short encounter, is now craving for a woman's warmth badly. If only she wasn't Kira's sister, he would have taken her there and then. If only he didn't meet her like this, then he wouldn't be in this pathetic state.

Damn.

Looks like he'll be staying in the shower for quite a while. Just until this 'thing' calms down. He doesn't have anything important to do today, so he could stay in the shower as long as he wants. Although he was planning to take her out later for shopping, just so he can start turning her into a 'lady'. This morning's encounter wasn't really part of the plan, but he can't help it. He is a normal healthy guy, who has his own sexual cravings. And like any other normal guy, having a girl living with him, who doesn't know how to act properly, will sooner or later lose control and pounce on her. It was a miracle he was able to last this long.

Seriously.

She would walk around the house, clad in oversize shirt, wearing only a camisole underneath, without any bra. How did he know? He could see the little shy bumps of her chest. Even though she tries to hide it with the looseness of the shirt, every now and then, when she makes a movement, he could see her chest bounce and jiggle, distracting his decent train of thoughts. No matter how hard he tried to divert his attention from her chest, he would still end up peering at her, like a pervert. Staring at her bouncing chest, discreetly.

Then her undies. He grumbled, scratching his head. She would leave her undies in plain sight every time she would do the laundry. Sometimes, she would forget them in the bathroom, or in the dryer. At first it didn't really bothered him, but if you add the bouncing chest and her scattered undies, his self-control would eventually crumble.

Ah. And the obvious parts. Even though she acts really off, but not exactly in a tomboyish way, but rather, careless and rough. She still has her feminine side, but only on the harsher side. She still blushes from time to time, when he walks around in his boxers, or with only a decent towel wrapped around his loins. And seriously, her blushing face is really really cute. If she would just do something about that messy grub of hair she has. She'll be much more cuter. The rest, the skin, the slender hands and hips, are of ' lady' class.

Ah crap!

Again, a hard on. Fuck. Another 10 minutes under the cold shower. If he can't keep his cool with just the simple thoughts of her, then how is he going to last few more months if not weeks?

Damn. He should start working on her 'Lady-ship' as soon as possible before he losses all the remaining decency.

* * *

If it weren't for the knocking on her door, she wouldn't have woken from her stupor. Ever since the incident this morning, she had been having difficulties gathering her senses. It wasn't because of her medicine, but rather, the sleeping emotions inside her had begun stirring. Those thoughts from the past, she thought she had already concealed had now resurfaced. Back to haunt her.

Those torturous sweet memories of him holding her tight in his arms, of the kisses they shared, of the nights the spent together, all those memories, are now back, gnawing at her consciousness. If he didn't stopped earlier, she would have pounced on him, like a starved lion.

"Hey, Cagalli, are you awake or what?"

"Ah, yeah. What do you want?" She opened the door automatically. He was obviously fresh from shower, with that towel draped lazily on his head, covering half of his face. His shirt was damp on the shoulders from his hair and the fresh scent of his soap looms sweetly around him.

"Get ready, we're going out." He seemed tensed. Was it because of what happened earlier?

"Where are we going?" She wanted to ask him if he remembers something. Or like why did he did what he did.

"Just get ready. I don't need to explain myself." His voice was heavy with the tone of finality. He turned his back, only to stop abruptly. An in his softest voice he whispered: "About earlier, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"Huh? Ah. It's cool." She really didn't understood what he said right away. It took her a while before his words fully registered their meaning inside her. A shy smile made its abrupt appearance as she closed her door. With her cheeks warming up and her heart beating faster, from such a simple thoughtless gesture of him apologizing. Even after all this years of distance, her heart still craves for him.

And only him.

* * *

Their first stop was a salon run by Athrun's own make-up artist. He had to literally drag her out of his car, much to his embarrassment. Thanks heavens this salon has it's own private parking lot, saving him some of his pride. She was insisting that she doesn't need a haircut, and that she can cut her own hair if she wants to.

No wonder her hair is so messed up!

Dodging the curious eyes of the people inside the salon as he waited in the lobby, he decided to go out for a quick stroll, not without giving directions on how he wanted her haircut would be and how he wanted her to look like. Waiting wasn't really his favorite chore, and the air inside the salon was getting too suffocating with all those prying eyes around. Even with his pauper cap and tinted shades, he was still recognizable. But that wasn't his real reason of why he wanted a stroll outside.

He couldn't really understand why, but something inside him wants to finish what he started earlier. The drive to the salon was really excruciating, with all the self-control he had to put up with. Even though she was wearing a bra and decent sized shirt, he couldn't help but see her half naked. He needs to cool down big time.

But how?

Knowing for a fact, that as soon as she gets over with this 'make over' he'll need more of the self-control and dignity. Plus, she lives with him! He can't just kick her out of the house, just because he can't tame his own libido! And besides, Kira entrusted her to him! He can't betray his friend's trust just because of his prancing hormones. Unless…

Kira plans to use her to redeem his 'androgynous' status

WAIT A SECOND!

Even though Kira's one helluva shrewd ass, he's not the type who uses his own sister as some cheap way out. He could see how much Cagalli lacks in the feminine department, that's why he sent her to him.

That's right! There's no ulterior motive there! Yes! That's why he can't let his hormones run wild. There's a way out of this, with out making a crap out of it.

Still deep in his thoughts, when his phone started ringing. He turned his bluetooth on, patching a really excited voice of his make up artist.

"Where are you?"

"I'm downtown, couple of blocks away. Why? Is she done?"

"Almost! My, she's one helluva beauty! Cant see why you cant get your hands of her." His make up artist giggled. He felt a sting of annoyance, trying to practice maintaining his cool.

"Whatever. Remember, she's Kira's sister, so make sure you do a good job. Otherwise, Kira'll kill you."

"More like you—" He didn't wait for his make up artist to finish. It'll be just another worthless blab about her. He doesn't need another fan to the flame. But he knew it was too late. His minds had started to concoct weird conclusions as to how she would look like.

Ah crap.

He tried to shrug the thoughts off his mind. And it was then when he caught the sight of a fancy black dress displayed outside a fancy boutique. Without thinking twice, he went in, asking for the her size for that dress.

She was getting anxious of waiting. Maybe he chickened out on her, after what happened earlier. His friend kept on assuring her that he was on his way, but that was like hour ago. Not counting the time when they first called him to inform him she was almost done.

What if something had happened to him? He was a little bit recognizable with his cheap way of disguising, but he brought his car. But what if he got ambushed by his fans while strolling down town? Or got mugged by some thugs on his way to his car? Or what if—

"Ms Cagalli, can you come to the dressing room for a minute, we have something for you to try on." It was one of the assistants, carrying a fancy looking paperbag.

"Wait, have you heard from him? Is he here yet?" She was panicking.

"Ah, Ms Cagalli, settle down! Your make up will run!"

"But, I can't help it! It's been almost 2 hours and he's still not here? Can you call him again?"

"Don't worry, we have that covered. He got hold of him a while ago. That's why I need you to try this dress on." The assistant was literally pushing her to the dressing room. If she didn't shut the door on her, she would have dashed her way out of the hallway, looking for him.

Sighing, she decided to comply with the assistant. She carefully pulled out the dress from the paper bag, revealing a silky black dress, and a pair of matching black-wedged doll shoes. At first glance, the dress looked small for her. It's flimsy cloth turns out to be stretchable, giving detail on every curve and slender her body has to show; its billowing skirt, a couple of inch shy from revealing her inner thighs. Not to mention it's rather deep neckline and its lame-looking laces that keep the dress hanging on her shoulders. Turning to face her reflection in the mirror, she found herself gasping.

Staring back at her was the Cagalli from three years ago. That graceful and beautiful lady he used to adorn and admire. The same Cagalli who crushed his heart. Her chest began to sting with emotions, as tears began rolling down.

She needs to get a hold of herself! That Cagalli she's remembering was from the past! The Cagalli staring back at her now, is way different from that old Cagalli. In so many ways, that comparing the two of them will be futile.

That's right!

Taking a deep breath, she made her way out of the dressing room. The assistant waiting outside literally fell dumbfounded, while Athrun's friend, the make up artist speechless. The other patrons inside the salon began to whispering amongst themselves, complimenting and praising the Amber haired beauty.

'Wasn't that the girl who came along with the hot guy earlier?'

'Ah! The one that looks like a superstar? Yes! But is she really the same girl?'

'Come to think of it, that girl was grubby looking and weird. This one's just overflowing with elegance and beauty.'

'Wait, she must be celebrity!'

'Oh? Yeah! She does look like one. But I wonder who? I'm bad with names.'

'She's really cute don't you think?'

Her heart began pacing quickly, pounding loudly inside her head, as the murmurs reached her now pink ears. Having these strangers stare at her, talking about her was simply too much for her. Her head was beginning to spiral out on her, the air getting too suffocating. She could feel her legs getting wobbly and weak, making walking a really hard chore. Especially with this kind of shoes, since it's been a while since she wore one.

_Ah, damnit, where are you Athrun?_

Unconsciously biting her lower lip, she continued on looking for him inside the salon lobby. With more of the salon patron idling on the lobby couches, the whispering intensified. She won't last any longer if this keeps up.

_Where are you?_

'Athrun…' Dealing with her anxiety wasn't her specialty. And whenever she gets really anxious, she usually ends up crying. And crying here isn't really a nice idea.

"Are you looking for me?" A pair of strong arms caught her slender waist, pulling her close into a steely chest. The arms began to move, turning her to face the owner of man.

"Athrun." A wave of relief washed away all her anxiety, as his arms, curved along her body, pulling her close into his intimate embrace.

"You look much sexier than ever. Maybe you don't mind if we finish what we started this morning, mmm?" His warm breath was fanning against her sensitive ear, making her gasp for breath. The patrons around them began diverting their attention away. Some went outside, some pretended to read a magazine, while others talked on their phones.

"Hmmm? 'We started'?" There was a heavy hint of sarcasm in her tone, but he didn't seem to notice it. His mind was full of erotic fantasies, ways of how he would be ripping this expensive black dress off her, ways of how he will be making her, his own. Completely forgetting where they were or what kind of situation they are in right now. He mumbled something that sounded 'yes', as his hand began to caress the curve of her back. He can't hold back any more. Her scent, her smile, everything about her, is driving him crazy.

He--

"Oof-" A hard nudge courtesy of her elbow, brought his sense of decency into light. He found himself blushing softly at the sound of the patrons clearing their throats, as if all of them had a sore throat or a cough.

"My, My Zala-sama. I was half worried you were about to make a scene inside my salon." It was his make-up artist, ushering them into the parking lot.

"I'm sorry about that. I couldn't help myself." He watched her enter the car, with a grim look on her face.

"Ah, yes. Having such a fine beauty such as your lady over there is enough to drive a man into insanity. If you don't mind me asking, what is your relation to her?" The artist cleared his throat demurely, waiting for his answer.

"She's Kira's sister." A weird pain pierced his chest, as the name 'Kira' and 'sister' registered into his mind.

"Ah, yes, Yamato-sama. No wonder she is such a beauty! But is she your--?"

"Thank you for your time again. We have to get going now." Cutting his friend off was the only way he could avoid that question. Because he knew it will only complicate the already confusing thoughts inside his head. Even if he said she was only his friend, if not an assistant, from the show they made earlier, no one will believe that. It's better for them to draw their own conclusions.

He watched his make-up artist wave goodbye to them from his side mirror. He forced a smile, waving a quick goodbye, as he backed up from his parking space. He saw her wave goodbye to his artist, with a brief smile on her glossed lips. But as soon as they left the parking space, the grim look was back on her face again, warning him of an impending danger.

"Say, are you hungry? I know you hadn't have lunch yet, do you have anything in mind?"

Silence.

"Do you eat Japanese food? How about Chinese? Oh, do you want a Persian one? I know a really good Persian restaurant."

Silence.

"Look, I'm sorry ok? You were just too pretty, and all, and I couldn't hold myself. I'm really sorry." He felt his pride was reduced into smithereens. Making apologies wasn't his line. He rarely apologized, only to those who are worthy of his apology. And in this case, her being Kira's sister.

_Yes. Kira's sister._

That painful combination of words, struck another nerve. If only she wasn't his sister. If only they hadn't met this way, then maybe they could be together. That way, he wouldn't be lusting for her like this. It wouldn't be this painful. But why does it hurt? He barely knows her. Aside from the fact that she was Kira's sister and they were childhood friends from before. If this is just lust, then why does it hurt?

"I'm craving for an Orange Chicken. And steamed rolls."

"Pardon?" Did she just forgive him?

"Are you deaf?"

"Ah. I'm sorry. I was just surprised. I didn't expect you to—"

"Don't misunderstand. I haven't forgiven you."

"Ah. Of Course." A shy smile began to curve on his lips. He wanted to hide it from her, but he couldn't help it. Covering his face discreetly with the back of his hand, hiding his smile.

After a heartwarming dinner at a famous Chinese Restaurant, where they spent over an hour bantering on what to order or who's going to pay, much to the embarrassment of the waiters, who were half thankful for the bountiful tip and for the simple fact that these rowdy patrons had a private dinner table, away from the other patrons, their next stop was a very popular department store, to buy her a new set of 'feminine' clothes. Upon hearing this, she refused to leave the car. Something about not needing new set of clothes, or fancy dresses wont suit her or they're plain too girly for her taste. Or something about the dress she was wearing being too embarrassing, and all.

He had this great urge to pull her out of the car, drag her out and force her to try on the clothes he'll have the clerks pick out for her. But of course, he still has the sanity to not do that. Instead, he courteously offered his arm to her, assuring her that it'll be fine. That no one will laugh at her or whatever. That since she doesn't really go out, nobody will recognize her or whatever. He even dared used his most expensive smile, that famous smile rumored to have the ability to make his fans faint out ecstasy or something like that. Maybe it was just some weird humor, since it didn't make her swoon. But instead, she gave a really shy-innocent-'you'll-pay-for-this' smile, as she held out her hand.

As they made their entrance to the department store, the crowd suddenly became restless, coupled with whispers and cries from fan girls and the like.

_"Kyaaaa! It's Athrun-sama! He's so kewl!"_

_"Ohmaygawd! It's that really hot singer! Athrun Zala! Wait, is that his girlfriend? I thought he was gay?"_

_"Was that just a rumor? Either way, I don't care. Athrun-sama! Marry me!"_

_"Athrun-sama! I'm pregnant with your child!! Kyaaa!!"_

_"Waaah! Athrun-sama! I knew it! He's a hot-blooded straight guy! Just look at the really hot girl he's with!"_

_"I must say, that is one fine girl he has. So maybe he isn't gay then."_

_"Waaaaah! Athrun-sama!!"_

He saw the faint blush on her cheeks as her hold on his arm tightened. Trying to hide another smile from his face, he turned his attention to his rabid fans, which were now being handled by the Store's security. Pretending to be smiling at his fans, he waved his hands toward them, loosening his arm from her grip. He felt her flinch a little, and the space between them suddenly became apparent. But before it could get larger, he grabbed her hand, weaving his fingers along with hers, squeezing it tightly. Discreetly watching her reaction to this, he felt his heart skip a beat, as her face turned redder.

She is soo cute when she's like this. Makes him wanna gather her into his arms and drown her in kisses and all.

_Even if it meant betraying his best friend's trust._

"You must be feeling high and mighty now, huh." She finally broke her silence inside the much private boutique. The window glass covered with posters of the boutique's latest fashion releases provided enough privacy for them to pick out the clothes she 'needs'. Plus the employees were really professional; not even batting an eyelash as Athrun openhandedly flaunted his charisma.

"Ah, Pick some really cute lingerie for her too! Not too lacy, and those with no visible panty lines too. And as much as possible make it a matching pair!" He called out lazily as he threw another lucrative blouse on the pile of dress for her to try on.

"What did you say? Who in earth gave you the right to choose my undies!" her face was obviously flustered. If there were any tangible object within her reach, it would have been on its way, flying towards his arrogant smug face.

"Kira entrusted you to me. So, I'm your guardian, meaning, I decided what's good for you." He watched her still fumbling form on the bench from the corner of his eyes. She looked like a little girl throwing a tantrum.

"Since when did adults need a guardian?"

"Who said you were an adult?"

"Asshole. I'm not going to try all this crap. I don't like it, it's too itchy, too much skin exposure, and it's too tight. I'm good with a simple t-shirt and denim pants." She stood up, headed her way to the exit. The clerks began to worry about this strange couple's argument, didn't know whether to stop her or what. When the manager dared to stop her, she glared at him, sending him cowering behind the counter.

"Who said you're leaving?" his firm hand grabbed her arm, dragging her toward the dressing room, against her protest.

"Lemme go you sick perv!" The dressing room wasn't that small, but not that big for them to throw a rumbling argument. The employees waited in horror, as the two continued their ramblings, followed by the sound of clothes ripping, things falling down, and random curses being thrown at each other.

"You damn pervert! Get out! I can do this by myself!"

"If I don't stay here, you wont do anything! I need to make sure you—" A loud thud was heard, followed by Athrun's howl of pain.

"Damn, you don't have to kick me in the gut!"

"I can and I will! Get out!"

The whole crew of the boutique was so relieved as the rowdy couple left their establishment. The manager ordered his crew to close down early, to avoid the media buzzes. It was enough fuzz that Athrun bought more than half of their products, from their finest lingerie to their fancies dresses. Whoever that girl is, she must be one helluva special one, seeing how the proud man like Zala personally bought all those expensive things.

"Can we go home now? My feet are killing me." Walking barefoot, with her shoes in one of the paper bags. She had been yawning all this time, with tired eyes as proof of her exhaustion.

"It's just 7 pm. It's way too early to go home." With one hand, he popped open the trunk of his car, and placed all the paper bags inside. He was ablout to close the trunk when he noticed her bare feet.

"Hey. Your shoes?"

"In the paper bag." She idly slumped herself inside the backseat, with her feet flailing out of the window.

"Damn it, go get it!"

"You get it. I'm tired. And 'sides, you're already there."

"Shit. Fine! Which paper bag?"

"I dunno. Just check each bag."

"Goddamn it." Grunting, he took each bag out of the trunk, checking each for the shoes. It took him quite a while before he finally found the pair, from the last bag that was stuffed all the way inside. He had to reach all the way in just to get that freakin' bag. All of the things he least want to do, was straining. He damn hated straining.

"Hey, moron. Your shoes are here, get out of the car."

No Answer.

Annoyed, he went to check on her. His vein was about to pop when he saw her dangling feet outside of his window. He opened the door, as he pushed her feet back in. "Hey--"

And there she was, eyes closed, with the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. Sound asleep.

The next day, Cagalli Yula Athha found herself wrapped in the naked embrace of Athrun Zala. With her clad only in her undies, no shirt or even a bra to cover her chest. Just undies. And this man's arms wrapped around her waist tightly, with his legs entwined against hers.

'Oh my crap. What the hell happened last night?'


	5. Shadow Called Love

**_A Shadow called Love_**

* * *

"_Give me your hand." With out even waiting for his response, she grabbed his hand._

"_Wait! What're you doing?" He auspiciously watched her trace the lines on his palm, starting from the thumb, then to the three major lines, going up and down with each finger, and finally ending with the pinky._

"_If you're trying to tickle me, you know that wont work." She was never the affectionate type. Unlike the other girls he' d dated from before, she doesn't like public display of affection. She blushes so hard when he holds her hand in public, and he would often receive an elbow on the side if he dares to kiss her on the lips, or even on the cheeks in public. But every once in a while, she would come up with the most embarrassing ways to show her fondness. And maybe this is one of those times. With her other hand, she dug something out of her pockets._

"_Close your eyes." She turned her face. Is she blushing?_

"_Why should I?" He could tell from his angle that she's blushing. Teasing her more will be a good idea._

"_I said…Close your eyes!"_

"_Only if you'll kiss me first."_

"_Don't be stupid. Close your eyes"_

"_Kiss me first then I will close my eyes."_

"_Fine! Never mind!"_

"_Geez. Don't get so mad! Fine, I'll close my eyes!" He gingerly closed his eyes, heightening his senses to her actions. He felt something being tied around his finger. Something thin. A thread perhaps?_

"_Can I open my eyes now?"_

"_Wait…. There! Open your eyes!"_

"_What--" He forgot what he was about to say when he saw the red thread tied on his pinky. _

"_I read from my cultural book that this is how a couple finds their true love. They say Fate ties a red thread that connects the two lovers and--" He didn't let her finished her words. He knew about this custom. She doesn't need to explain._

" _I know. But you know, we don't need a thread to connect the tow of us. We'll always share a bond, forever." He gathered her in his arms, embracing her fragile body tightly._

"_That's…too cheesy!"_

"_Look who's talking!" He felt her laugh against his chest. Her warm breath fanning against his chest, with only the thin layers of cloth separating their bodies. He could feel the quick pacing of her pulse beating loudly against his. "I'll keep this thread nevertheless…"_

" _Huh?"_

"_It's the proof of our bond…"_

* * *

"YOU GODDAMN PERVERT!!" A hard smack on a face woke Athrun Zala up. Another pillow rammed on his face even before his mind registers what is happening.

"YOU TOOK ADVANATGE OF MY INNOCENCE!!" Another pillow incoming.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He was able to dodge the pillow, as he sat up. His naked chest was left exposed to his attacker's eyes.

"YOU!! YOU!!" His attacker quickly grabbed the sheets, wrapping them around her naked body. The reason for the attack came to his mind. A smug smile formed on his lips as he studied the flushed form of his best friend's sister. "Are you a moron or what? You fell asleep on the car last night. I carried up you here, and was planning to put you on your room but it was lock. I tried to change your clothes but I couldn't find a spare. So I just left you naked."

"WHY ARE YOU SO FRIKKIN' NON CHALANT ABOUT IT!!" Another pillow came flying towards him, but he was able to dodge it.

"It's not like I haven't seen it all. And 'sides, I do have some decency. Relax I didn't do anything to you." More like it was the ultimate test of self-control. He was up all night trying to suppress his urges trying to get as far away from her as he could. But he was so tired from last night that finally his urges allowed him to sleep.

"…" Her face was a picture of hurt. Did he say something bad?

"Hey… are you ok?"

"Hell yeah!" She didn't looked back at him. Was she crying? "I'm going to my room and change. I'll call you when breakfast is ready." She didn't even give him one of her spiteful glance. She just left, along with his sheets. Good thing he was wearing his pajama bottoms, otherwise he'll be freezing cold. But watching her back disappear just like that had some weird effect on him.

It was like his chest was suddenly heavy, with sadness.

"Moron. She's Kira's sister. You cant possibly cross the line. You cant. You just cant." Covering his face with his palms, he sighs out his exasperation. The more he is exposed to that woman, the more his guilt and this heavy emotion chews his insanity off.

He must do something about it. Fast.

* * *

"Hey, pervert, phone call." It was Cagalli. She looked fine now, compared to how she looked earlier this morning. It bothered him so much that he decided to stay a while longer with her and observe her. Since he's just going to review the scripts for his upcoming movie, he can come in later.

"Can you please stop calling me pervert? People might misunderstand it. Who's calling?"

"Stellar Loussier. Pervert."

Glaring at her wont do anything good in correcting her manners. Maybe he should enroll her in some etiquette school, he wondered as he took the phone from her. That might be a good idea since the time they'll spend together will further decrease, especially with the tapings and shootings filling up his calendar. Yes. That may work.

He stood up and left the dining room for a much private air. He could feel her curious stares piercing his back, so he decided to leave her in that room. Hearing Stellar's voice gave him an uplifting feel, as it reminded him of his infatuation towards the blonde celebrity. And the thoughts of her starring along side with him vaguely erased the guilt gnawing inside him. Yes. He should focus more on women he could reach, not the ones who are clearly out of his league.

He didn't understand half of his conversation with Stellar. It was some boring stuff about the movie and how excited she was with working alongside him. Before she could finish her rantings, he blurted something awkward that quieted the girl for a second.

"Do you wanna have dinner with me?" It was an idea that came out of the blue. He actually have recordings later but he could have Dearka reschedule the time. Surely that guy won't have problems with a little change, since he was always diligent with the recording and was never late. So…

"I'm making wrapped cabbage and some sukiyaki tonight." He heard her casually say. He was getting ready to leave for his 'recordings' when she suddenly entered his room, just to say what she was going to prepare for dinner.

"I'm not eating here. Recording's gonna take long, so don't bother cooking. Just pop some left over in the fridge." Seeing her standing by his doorway irritated him. Or rather, his guilt was again on his back, gnawing at his conscience. But why should he feel guilty when there was never a relationship between them to start with? Why does he need to lie to her about his date with Stellar?

"I see. That's fine then." He wanted to see her reaction to what he said, but he couldn't see her face. Was she disappointed? Unlikely. And besides, why would she, when they are just housemates. Right? There's no need to contemplate about such menial thoughts. From now on, he'll just focus his attention on his work and on Stellar. But why is he still looking around the house for her, as he was about to leave? She was in her room, doing whatever stuff she usually does. He wanted to inform her that he's about to leave but he decided not to.

She's just a housemate. There's no need to inform her of every step he makes. That's right. There's no need to do this. Lying to her is something he shouldn't be bothered with.

* * *

It was almost past two o'clock when he arrived home. Stellar's childish rants made him forget completely about time. But who cares? It's not like someone's waiting for him.

Right?

Yet why does he felt a sting in his chest as soon as he saw the sleeping form on the den? The remote control was still in her hand, and the channel she was supposedly watching has gone off line already. She couldn't have been waiting for him to arrive right? Maybe she just tired from watching and fell asleep? She couldn't have been waiting for her all this time, when he did informed her that he's going to be late right?

Right?

But his mind couldn't rationalize properly. Especially when he saw the dish bowl on the table. Why is this girl doing this? There's no reason for her to do this. Right?

"Ah. You're home. I'm sorry. I thought I could wait for you while watching tv, but I guess I must have had dozed off. There's still some sukiyaki and cabbage wraps for you, in case you're hungry. I'm going to bed now. You could leave the dishes on the sink. I'll wash them tomorrow morning." Her voice seems tired and hoarse. He didn't turn to meet her gaze, but instead he pretended to be looking for something in the fridge. Why can't he face her?

Why?

The next morning he didn't saw her. There was a letter on the fridge saying she went out to meet a friend and that she will be late in coming home. It also said that there's French toast in the table, juice in the fridge, and the leftovers from last night are in the microwave, ready to be reheated. The dishes were also done. Everything was prepared for him.

For him.

* * *

"So you're saying you're experiencing the side effects from this medicine I prescribed you? Hmmm…Have you been sleeping properly?" Erica Simmons meticulously scrutinizes the thinning frame of her favorite patient.

"Well, I think I am?" Cagalli smiled impishly.

"You think? That doesn't sound very assuring, you know." Erica flips over another page in her medical file and scribbles something.

"Well, I am eating properly, taking the med at the right time, not over exerting myself and stuff like you told me to do. So yeah, I'm taking good care of myself. It's just your prescriptions that are messing up my life."

"You know, I can't have you on drug therapy for too long. Sooner or later, you'll need that surgery or else."

"A surgery that doesn't even sound promising. I mean, 50/50 chances? No thanks, I'll wait until they get me a donor."

"A donor? With your current condition, you're considered as one of the last people in the priority list. And even though that surgery is still new, at least it could rid you of these bothersome pills."

"Meh. Still doesn't sound assuring. Lemme finish my work here then I'll think about it."

"Cagalli…. time isn't something you can play with leisurely. Please be reminded of your condition." Erica handed her new prescription drugs. "You can't wait for him forever. You have a life to live. And clearly he has found his. So let go of the past now." Wrapping her arms around her goddaughter, squeezing her tightly. "He wouldn't approve of this stunt of yours, you know…"

"Gaah. I'm okay. But you know, He lied to me last night. He said he was going to his recording. But Dearka called and said he had it cancelled. He was going to meet up with that Stellar girl. DO you know how she looks like?" Cagalli forced a smile on her face.

"No. I'm not into celebrities and stuff."

"She just looks like me…back when we first met." Tears started overflowing unconsciously.

* * *

A/N:

_I saw the PV video of __**Precious Rose**__, and there was a scene where Cagalli was sitting by the beach, all soaked. And I swear she looked like Stellar!! Seriously! I even stared at my mini Stellar for confirmation. Yeap. She's like a Cagalli with clumped hair and pink eyes._

_Hope you like this installment._


	6. Taion

_**Taion**_

"_Tell me, where you with Meer yesterday?" He was half expecting her to be mad if not be in a teary state, just like how his past girlfriends would be when he did something. But in her case, she sounded so nonchalant about the matter, it was like she didn't care that he was with another girl._

_Then again, she was the one who encouraged it. In fact, it was because of her why he decided to go out with Meer. Whenever she sees a girl who likes him, she'll be so quick in encouraging that girl to go out with him. The girl would of course, be hesitant at first, since after all, asking the most popular guy in campus has some looming consequences. And that includes a girlfriend. Which is her. The person who's encouraging the infatuated girl. But she would blatantly lie about it, claiming that he doesn't have a girlfriend at all. And that irritates him so much._

_He can bear the fact that she wants their relationship to be kept secret. He's fine with her being all awkward when he's trying to be all sweet with her. But to come this far…_

_That's why he decided to go out with Meer, without telling her. After all, she doesn't mind if other girls flirt around him. But in Meer's case, she knows about his relationship with her, and she's more daring compared to her or to any of the girls he's been out with it. She's got a great body, a really interesting personality, very outgoing and knows how to party. The ideal girlfriend he always wanted. Which is the exact opposite of his girlfriend. Sometimes it makes him think why the hell did he fell in love with this girl? _

"_Yeah. You don't mind right?" _

"_Nope. It's cool. Do you like her?" He watched her back cautiously, as she climbed the steep stairs to the side walk. It's been a week since he's been going out with Meer, and he purposely cut all his connections to her. He didn't call her at home, or check on her in class. He didn't even bother to ask how she's doing. And today, it's just one of those obligatory days where he had to take her to the clinic for her weekly check up. And he didn't even bother to ask her or her doctor about her results. He wants her to be the one to take the initiative this time. He's tired of taking the first step all the time._

"_Well, she's cool. Got a really hot body, interesting personality and all. So I guess yeah?"_

"_That's cool then. At least I know you found some one to replace me." The last sentence didn't clearly register in his mind. It wasn't until the cold rain drops began pouring down, and the revving of the black sedan made him realized what she said. She turned slowly to face him, wearing that blank smile of hers, as the black sedan pulled in._

"_What are you talking about?" The cold autumn rain didn't bother him at all. It was the bitter chill from the tone of her voice that began to numb his senses. _

"_She's my replacement. After all, we wont be together for so long, and I'm just a burden to you. That's why I let you flirt around with other girls, so you cold find a new girl. And now that you did, I'm breaking up with you. I'm happy for you. You finally found your dream girl." His whole body froze as she turned her back. He stood there frozen, watching in mute silence as the sedan started its engine and left. His whole mind was left blank, and his entire body shaking in anxiety and the cold embrace of the autumn rain._

_Later that night, he tried calling her, but her number was disconnected. Then he tried going to her house. The black sedan wasn't in the parking lot or in the garage. The light in her room was also off. He tried calling Kira, but he cant get hold of him too. The minutes tick by, and the events from earlier haunted his mind._

_How can he be stupid? He always knew she was suffering from inferiority complex. She was always going about how weak she is, how flat chested or how fragile she is. Her usual rants about being her hating her special treatment, just because she is part of the great family. How she hated being so insignificant, compared to him. How she was so undeserving of someone like him._

_But she was wrong. It was him who didn't deserve her. He never understood her. And he even dared to question why he was in love with her in the first place._

_The next day, he broke up with Meer. Then he went straight to her classroom to find her, only to learn that she had been absent for almost a week, and she might drop out because of her recent hospitalization. Apparently going to class everyday has taken its toll on her body, and had to be admitted. The cold weather has also played a factor in her absence. Her condition might take its turn for the worst, and as a precaution, she had to withdraw from class._

_As the instructor continued to explain the situation, his chest suddenly felt heavy and that image of her blank smile began to fill his mind. It was as if he was being suffocated by that image, draining him all of his might. And when the words, ' condition might take its turn for the worst' registered in, his well known 'self composed image shattered and he began crying so hard, bawling his eyes in utter disbelief and shock. Even the instructors who also admire him for his perfect standing in campus were shocked when they saw him trembling and crying._

_From that day on, their relationship became known. Everybody was surprised at first, but they were able to accept their relationship easily. But she never came back to campus._

* * *

It has been a week since the filming for his new movie was cancelled. The script had to be rewritten all over again, after it failed the criteria the producers had in mind. It was too cliché and cheesy, according to the producers. And he agrees with that. The plot was just too common. A Romeo and Juliet styled love triangle set during the time of the 'Battle of Jachin Due'. Lately, there has been a great deal of love stories set around that era flooding the theaters, that it has become way too boring. He was really thankful to the producers for that, but he's still pissed. Why did those moronic producer had to wait until the filming started to have the script changed? Did they not read the script before agreeing to support it? How pathetic is that? Now he has to study a new fat ass script all over again, those bastards. And they only gave the staff 3 weeks to prepare for the filming! Assholes!

Well, he's over it now. What matters to him the most is that finally he can co-star with Stellar. Plus, according to Heine, who was behind the new script, there will be lots of kissing scenes and a possible bed scene if Stellar agrees to it. Now that's worth risking his hide.

The script arrived yesterday. Yet he was only able to give a quick look at it today. He gave it a quick scan, and so far the story's had been well improved. This time, it was about two lovers who were facing a dim future together. And it actually made him tear a little as he went over the lines, some of which were really emotional and heart breaking.

The story goes as,

'A girl meets a boy on a beach. He became interested with her as he watched her throw all the starfishes that were swept ashore by the waves. He grows more interested with her after he learns of her condition, and decided to find a cure for her, to protect the smile he liked. And in the process, he fell in love with her. He made a promise that he'll be always to protect her, that he'll never forget her, because the girl was more afraid in being forgotten that in death itself. Yet after few years, the guy got into an accident and lost all his memories, including of the girl. She lost contact with him and decided to look for him despite her condition. When she found him, she was in shock to find out of his condition. She tried to remind him of their past, but miserably failed. Feeling defeated, she decided to undergo a risky experimental surgery. But beforehand, she informed the guy about her decision, and the guy nonchalantly ignored her. As the girl was about to admit herself to the hospital, she found out about the affair of the guy's girlfriend, and decided to warn him, thus she cancelled her admittance. The guy didn't believe her; instead she was yelled at and was told never to see him again. The girl was so devastated; she had a heart attack, and was taken to the hospital. A week later, the guy found out that his girlfriend was indeed cheating on him. So he dumps his girlfriend, and decides to look for the girl. But he couldn't find her. He was informed that she was in a hospital. He went to see her only to be shocked by her current condition. She was hardly living, as the surgery had failed, and had to be intubated. She was dependent on the machines that keep her breathing and alive. When the guy saw her in this condition, he began to remember the girl and his promise. But by the time he had completely remembered it all, the girl passed away.'

Knowing it was Heine's idea, it had to be really good. That guy really has quite an awesome talent despite his weird taste for things. And this time, Heine did a really good job. Now he can be assured that this movie will top the charts.

--

It was already past four, when he realized Cagalli wasn't back yet from her etiquette school. From what he remembered, it's suppose to start at 10 am and end at 3 pm. But lately, she's been leaving quite early and gets back quite late. And the fact that she doesn't whine about having him drive her to the campus bothers him more. The school is located at the border end of Aprilius, and it'll take at least 40 minutes without traffic to get there. Commuting by the either bus or taxi will take at least an hour or so. But now, she doesn't pester him about giving her rides. At first, he thought she had found herself a carpool, which is good. But after she got back at 10 pm, he started to get suspicious. It wouldn't take her that long to get back, even if she did used the bus. And lately, she has been receiving calls more often than usual, and has been ignoring him during breakfast. This should be a good thing for him, but for some reasons, he feels bothered by it. He feels anxious every time she comes home late, and feels irritated when she talks on the phone too much. He wanted to ask her about her carpool body, but he fears that is he did, she might come up with weird conclusions. That's why tonight; he'll figure it himself. By now, he has established her pattern, and he's confident that she'll be back sometime around 8 or 9. Until then, he'll need to tend to the boxes in his study room.

It's been well off six months since they moved in the new house, and until now he hasn't had the time to organize the boxes in his study. And now that he's got the free time, he intends to deal with that matter.

Going through the boxes, he found his old records, books, and newspaper clippings of his concerts and shows. He also found some magazines that featured him on the cover and some cheap photo book of some of his outtakes. Everything seems insignificant and deemed fit to be forever stuck in the attic to gather dust. Until he found the little shoebox wrapped in rolls of tape and tied with a red string. He had to get a heavy-duty scissors to open the box because of the thick layers of tape used on the box. It was as If it wasn't supposed to be opened.

After long grueling minutes of trying to open the box, he finally breaks through. Inside the box where pictures of him and his old friends, Kira, Dearka, Heine, Lacus and the others. There were also keepsakes, such as movie and concert tickets, candy wrappers, and convention badges. And there were a peculiar little bundle of photographs tied with a red woven bracelet. It was a weird bundle of pictures, as there was holes cut through the face of one individual.

And this individual seems to be a close friend of his for in all these pictures, it was just him and this person, often posed in an embrace or were holding hands. Curiosity began to set in as he digs further, in hopes of finding this person's identity. But he found none. All of the pictures this person was in had holes on the face. All he was able to find out was this person was a girl, and had a long blonde hair, and that the red bracelet used to tie the bundle was something he and this girl both had. Could this be one of his girlfriends?

But then, how come he doesn't remember her?

And why are her pictures all had holes in them?

What happened to her?

Who is she?

He emptied the contents of the box to search for answers. And under the pile of junk, he found a handwritten letter, ripped. It was missing the top portion, and the name of the writer was ripped off too. All he could say about the letter is that a girl who had previous relationship with him wrote it.

'_I've always wondered why of all people you chose to be with me. I'm not cute. I don't have big boobs like those girls you loved to ogle at. I'm weak and I might not live that long. I'm annoying and impulsive. Plus I always tried to deny our relationship and gave you a lot of trouble. I felt like I didn't deserve you. You were so perfect. Everybody looked up to you because of your accomplishments, while with me, people looks up to me because of my family, and not for who I am. I feel really insignificant._

_That's why I tried to push you away. I wanted you to hate me. I wanted you to leave me and be happy with someone else. I know that I can't make you happy and that I'll just bring you problems. That's why I did what I did. But you still loved me despite all the horrible things I've done. You were still there, holding my hand. You were still there, standing by my side, assuring me that everything will be fine. And you know what, just by hearing your voice, I feel like I could believe in anything, even in the impossible. And you know what, when you said you'd never ever leave me, or forget about me, I feel like I could die from too much happiness. Just by knowing that you'll never leave me made me feel at peace. I know you don't like me talking about death, but I cant help it. I am so happy. Even though I know promises aren't suppose to be kept, I was so happy. Your promises of not ever letting go of my hand, was just too much for me…._

_I am so happy to be loved by you. And you know what, I could care less if I die tomorrow. As long as I know you love me, nothing else matters to me anymore. I love you so much.'_

As he was nearing the end of the letter, he realized he was crying. But why? He doesn't even remember receiving this letter, much less it's writer. So why is he crying? And why does his chest hurts so much? Did this person died? Where is she now? Is she the same person in the pictures? Who is she?

The sudden rustle from downstairs interrupted his train of thoughts. Wiping his tears with his sleeve, he dashes off to check. And what he saw added to the weight inside his chest.

It was Cagalli, wrapped in the arms of Rey Za Burrel, son of Talia Gladys, the owner of the Etiquette school he enrolled her in.

"Ah, Athrun." She pushed Rey's arms off her and smiled nonchalantly at him. "Have you eaten your dinner? I brought you some baked mahi mahi from the marina restaurant Rey took me to. I know you liked fish so…Athrun?"

He walked past her, and without any warning, threw a heavy punch across Rey's face. Without giving Rey a time to recoil, he pulled Cagalli in and slammed the door close. Then he dragged her upstairs to him room and pushed her to the bed. His wrists, arm and face were full of scratches and bruise from Cagalli's efforts of freeing herself.

"Damn it Athrun, what's your problem! This isn't funny anymore! Rey's—" She tried to stand up but Athrun push her back down.

"How dare you let that swine lay his filthy hands on you?" His voice was harsh and heavy. His eyes were burning of that dangerous emotion called jealousy.

"He's not a swine! He was just comforting me! What's so --" This time he pushed her down hard, pinning her wrists with a tight grip of his hands.

"Comforting you? Why not let him inside, have him comfort you too in the bed. Am I not enough?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?? NOOOO!" A loud rip echoed through the corners of the room, as pieces of clothing fell on the floor, along with the remaining sanity that existed between them.

**A/N: My Birthday treat to you guys! Yes, today is my birthday. If you live in Pacific time, it's 7/20/1513, if not then it was yesterday. And yeash! Its in 20****th**** day of the month of July, of the year of 1513. I'm that old…XDDD**

**Also, I've been pretty swamped with schoolwork lately. But have no fear! Summer Sem is almost over! Regular updating will resume maybe later this August. **

**Ah and yes, the first part of each chapter tells about their past. The lower part talks about their present. **

**And lastly, Airen Maid will be put on temporary Hiatus. Why? Well, that flame suddenly shook my plot. I've forgotten about the original plot. So now I have to restart my Airen Maid brain cells and have them work their asses for a new plot. It may take a while, since they're working overtime for schoolwork so…AIREN MAID is stamped HIATUS!**

**To those who like my work, this is for you. And hopefully you guys will like this installment. Show me your love by review this fic! The more the merrier!**

**Thankies!**


	7. Jikan yo tomare

* * *

**Jikan yo Tomare**

* * *

It has been a month since he transferred to the prestigious Morganroete University's High School Department as a sophomore. And since then he still has not seen that girl. Because of that he's starting to regret his decision of transferring here. After all, she was the only reason why he decided to transfer here. The scholarship this university is offering him meant nothing to him, nor the fancy presents his parents gave him after he made this outrageous decision. He even broke up with all of his girlfriends, and turned a new leaf over, just to get the prerequisites of this university. He gave up his laid back life and decided to take school seriously, just to get another chance in coming to ORB. To see that girl again…

It started 5 years ago. He was forced by his parent to attend an academic boot camp in ORB, sponsored by Morganroete. Back then he was such a messed up brat. He was one of the infamous delinquents at his school, often skipping classes and picking fights with other schools. He would be often found in arcade stores harassing some lower grade students, or gambling with people in back alleys. His parents were ready to throw him out, when one of his father's business associates volunteered to take him to an academic boot camp held annually in ORB. Actually, he didn't need to attend such boot camp since his grades were really good. He could pass an exam without studying, but he still has bad grades. He would purposely leave his exam paper blank, or doze of during the exam, or simply skip the exam itself. He simply found school too boring, way dull for his lifestyle.

But after he got back from ORB, he was a changed man. His entire life made a complete 180 turn. He started to attend his classes, his stopped hanging out with the bad crowd. He even joined some extra curricular clubs and some volunteer support groups affiliated with the local hospital. He even told his parents his plan: Be a cardiologist surgeon. Originally, he just wanted a laid back job that could earn him a ton of money. Jobs the qualify his category are a model, a male prostitute or simply an actor. When his parents heard his outrageous ambitions, his father was ready to throw him out. But after 5 years later, hi parents were seriously overjoyed that they bought him a limited class car, Justice. Then when he told his parents he wants to study in ORB, they were almost hysterical in joy, and immediately prepared everything for his transfer, including a new car and his very own apartment.

But a month after his transfer, his old delinquent side is coming back. He already skipped his first class and plans to skip the rest of his afternoon class too. He's getting bored with all the redundancy that surrounded him. At first, Morganroete was a blast. He was an instant star on his first day. Girls flocked him the moment he stepped out of his classroom during break. Guys were asking him to join their club. He was used to this kind of swarming since middle school, but somehow this was different. There was a side of him hoping that that girl might be one of the girls that are hording him, or maybe one of her acquaintance. But he was wrong. It has been a month, and still no sign of her. He asked about her before he transferred in this university, just to confirm two things: that she's still alive and that he can still see her. The secretary confirmed that she is currently enrolled in the school but didn't specify which year she is in. But since she was just couple of months younger than him, he assumed she might be in the same building with her. He was dead wrong. In the High school department, each year level has their own building and building facilities. The freshman level has two buildings, sophomore has three, junior has two and senior has four. And within his first week, he has basically explored every corner the sophomore buildings have. And still no sign of her.

This is seriously fucked up.

If he can't find her, then what's the purpose of transferring in this university? Maybe he should drop out and go back to Aprilius. That'll be fucked up. He could imagine his father's fuming mad expression.

Well then, he could at least stay here for a year; try to enjoy ORB and its beauties. Speaking of beauties, there that really sexy girl in his class. Was it Meer Campbell? Yeah, she's one fine babe. Maybe he could hang out with her to pass time, perhaps? Ah, and there's that Meyrin Hawke girl, who's always giving him homemade lunch boxes! She's cute and fine too! Maybe he should hang out with her too.

Which ever goes then?

Another week passes by, and he was able to relieve his boredom with a new fling that goes by the name Meyrin Hawke. She has a really 'Hawke-ish' sister, named Luna who has been hindering his moves on her.

So the only thing he has done with her so far was just a really boring peck on the cheek. Usually, by the end of the week, he would have the girl down in his bed clamoring for more. But like he cares. He's just using her as a past time anyways, so why should it matter?

Another week passes by and finally his dream has come true. In the most awkward of times. He had finally convinced Meyrin to make out with him behind the Sakura Gardens that linked the sophomore main building and the freshman building together. And just when he was about to land his hand on her ample breast, that girl appeared. At first he didn't recognized her, with her shoulder length amber blonde hair falling loosely, but when his eyes met hers, he immediately froze up. And suddenly time stopped. Meyrin, or the other students that were with them seem to have vanished, and in this moment there was just the two of them there.

"oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know there were students here! Ms Athha, we can't have the meeting here." Why would this annoying asshole has to report what is already obvious?

"Ah, well, then, let's just go back to the main building then." She turned her back so nonchalantly. Did she recognize him?

"But I thought you didn't like the stuffy air there? We can still try the Lavender Gardens…"

"Its fine, and besides, all of our resources are there, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Very well then, let's go."

His eyes were fixated on her back, until he couldn't see her anymore. It took him quite a while before he realized it was just the two of them again.

"Hey, Meyrin. DO you know what level that blonde girl is?" His mind began to reel with surging emotions and memories. He was overjoyed by just seeing her fine and well, and with the fact that she look simply hot, adds as a freebie.

"Ah, you mean, Ms Cagalli? Yeah. She's a freshman. She's supposed to be in the same grade as ours, but she had to repeat another level after she missed half of the freshman year. Why?"

"Nothing."

With just that, he returned back to his serious mode. He started attending his classes again, acing each and every exam being thrown at him. He even broke up with Meyrin, with the simple reason that he 'needs to concentrate with his studies more' crap. As for his mysterious girl, Cagalli, he chose not to pursue her further for a little while. He needs to make sure that his recent break up with Meyrin has nothing to do with her, and he still needs to investigate more about her. Like her hobbies, her favorites and her health. Especially her health. After all, he did made a promise with her to protect her, whether it is healthwise or whatever. That's why he wants to be a heart doctor. No. He _needs_ to be a heart doctor.

His hard work finally paid off on the 3rd month of his transfer. By now, he almost knows everything about her, including her body measurements. He knows what time she arrives or what time she goes home. What subjects she's taking and who are her friends. He knows what subjects she's good in or what clubs she is affiliated with. With that in mind, he is ready to attack. Only if he has the courage, if not the strength to approach her.

"Hahaha. Man, you're pathetic. Zala, look. Its really simple. Just say 'Hey, remember me? I was the guy who saved you from 5 years ago.' If she remembers then fine! If not, then tough luck!" It was Dearka, his classmate and neighbor. He often runs to his side, unconsciously spilling everything that has any connections to Cagalli. Just like now. Drinking the remainder of his soda while duking out his PS3.

"You make it sounds so easy." He could only grumble his disdain. This is the first time he's having girl problems.

"Because it is that easy! Unless you're asking her out or something. That my friend is one impossible feat."

"I'm not into that. I just want her to remember me, and be her friend. My intentions are clean."

"Then it should be easy right?

"Goddamn it…"

By the 5th month, he was already at his limits. He was so miserable; he couldn't concentrate with the planning for the School festival. He excused himself from the planning department and joined the props group. He couldn't even concentrate on drawing a simple straight line. He was just so thankful he had his fan girls doing his job for him. The only thing he has to worry about now is her.

Days passed, and it was time for the festival. It was really awesome; all the clubs had their own unique presentations, ranging from cosplay cafe, maid-butler cafe, movie houses, karaoke café, horror houses and test of courage houses, confession booths and others. It would be a really nice place to take your date out to. Only he didn't have a date. Meyrin asked him if he would go with her to the seniors' fair, and he agreed. And that was it. He wanted to go home, and just doze off the rest of the day, but he can't since that stupid Dearka booked him on one of the Fan Service booths their class has. He was forced to sit down with clients, flirt with them and dress up for them with a limited variety of costumes: a neko butler suit, a pre-schooler uniform, shirtless, waiter uniform, Japanese kimono, and a neko kimono suit. If it wasn't for the high tips he was getting, he wouldn't even dare touch those disgusting costumes. But it was a good way to spare time. And before he knew it, it was already dark. And it was time for the last event for the day.

The Public Confession.

Its where people would confess to the person they like over the PA system. Every student, faculty and staff will hear the confession. Every single soul who are present in the campus. But of course there are privacy terms. The confessor can use a different name to use and or remain anonymous. It seem amusing, he thought, so he decided to watch and listen to the Public confession, whose headquarters was at the Sophomore Auditorium.

Hearing the confessions was really amusing. Some were rambling about, some were stuttering. Some girls even broke into tears after confessing and a couple of 'awws' were heard. Some had really cheesy lines, and some were straight to the point. Then he wondered, how would he be like if he was to join the Public Confession?

Would he be all mushy?

Would he break down and cry after confessing?

Will he ramble or stutter?

Would he be--

"…It has been five years since we last met. Do you still remember? Back then, I didn't have any directions in life, but after meeting you, everything changed. I found my reason in life. I want to protect you. No. I need to protect you. --" It was Dearka's voice over the PA system. And somehow, it seems like he wasn't really confessing to someone. He _is confessing_ for someone…

"What the hell! Fuck you Dearka!"

"…Do you still remember? You never left my thoughts. You were the reason of my transfer here. You made my world move again.—"

"Fuck you Dearka! I never said anything like that!! I swear I'll slit your throat open when I get you!!" he was literally galloping his way to the Sophomore building. He needs to stop him. She doesn't need to know about him…

"…I don't expect you to remember. I just want you to know I'm here and I still haven't forgotten about you. And if possible, I want to stay by your side…"

When he saw the large crowd in front of the auditorium entrance, he stopped. Why the hell was he rushing? It wasn't him who confessed. It was Dearka. And besides, its not like she'll remember.

Right?

It's been five years. He cant possibly expect her to remember. Remember when he first saw her? She ignored him. It meant she didn't recognize him or remembered him. So why should he have to have his hopes so high?

With a heavy and crestfallen heart, he decided to leave the university and just go home. And sulk. Sulk till his eyes bleed and kidneys fail. Why the hell did he even break up with Meyrin? And why did he even choose to transfer here…

"…Uhm…I don't know how to start this, but, I still remember your promise. I was really looking forward in seeing you again. Then when I heard you transferred here, I was really happy. I thought, 'hey, he's here! He still remembers!' But when I saw you with a girl behind the tree…"

_Wait… Could it be?_

"...If you're still here, I hope you could hear me. I'll be waiting for you by the same beach, tomorrow. If you still remember…"

His heart burst into a million pieces out of extreme happiness. He felt an overwhelming surge of emotions flowing into his veins, as he run his way back to the Auditorium.

_She remembers!_

_She remembers!!_

When he got there, the auditorium was still packed with confessors. But he didn't care. He needs to see her. He needs to explain things. There's so many things he need to tell her…

A tap on his back brought him back to reality. It was Dearka.

"See? It's that's simple. But too bad, man, she just left."

"wa-wa-wait! Whaddya mean by ' she just left'?" He was stuttering like crazy. He was too happy.

"Can you understand English? SHE-JUST-LEFT." Dearka could see the extreme happiness from his pal. The jerk was so happy that he was literally shaking.

"She just left? She just left….she just left…she just left!"

"Man, you're so pathetic. Anyways, she did say where to meet her right? The just go meet her there."

"Aw shit, dude. Aw shit. Man, I owe you a lot."

"You bet you do. Now Let's head back. I need to finish that annoying third level boss."

* * *

The next day felt like a dream. He got to the beach pretty early, and thought she flaked out on him after waiting for 5 minutes. But when she appeared, he was in such euphoria. He was literally speechless; as he felt her arms wrapped him. It took them quite a while before they were able to settle down. The he immediately began explaining about everything. From his transfer, to the Meyrin incident, up till Dearka's confession. She sat beside him, listening, smiling. He was really happy. With each minute that passes by between them, his heart felt so light, and his mind felt so clear.

He has found his reason for living.

Time passed by and soon it was time to head back home. He told her he used the train to get here, since Dearka borrowed his car. She smiled and told him she wanted to take the bus too, along with him. But she has to wear sunglasses and a hat to cover her identity. He didn't asked why. He'll find out sooner about it later on.

For now, all that matter is she's here with him.

She's alive.

And one simple proof of that is the warm hand he is holding right now.

* * *

_**A/N:**_

**Yay! I uploaded! I'm in a good mood today, because of all the nice reviews you guys gave me. This update however focuses more on the past. Sorta like a break from all those angst that's starting. Just so you guys know how it sorta started. Next update will be back on the angst rhythm. Also, I've changed the genre. Originally the plan was to schtick to the comedy mode. Then I realize, comedy isn't just my line. I'm more of the angsty person. So yeah, you can expect Airen Maid to turn for the angst version. Crimson Night has already started the angst mode. Anyways, about Cagalli's ailment, stay tune. I've already cited some clues here, and from the previous chapter. It's pretty easy to tell, if you really read the story and not just scanned through it. XDD.**

**Okies fine. It's heart related. Oooowww. Yeah. So you can pretty much predict how the outcome might turn out, if Athrun doesn't pick up the pace. **

**About the title, it's from the ED theme of Itazura no Kiss, of the same title. I wrote this story while bleeding my ears to the song.**

**Also some good songs to listen to while reading this story is Shadow of Love by Olivia 'Inspi Reira. You can look it up in youtube. It tells some parts of the story. Also, Gackt's song Last Song. I used it in the 2****nd**** chapter. Really heartbreaking.**

**Anyways, read and review. I really really appreaciate your reviews. About the updates, I cant much do a lot, since I still have two weeks of classes. But again, it depends on your reviews. The more, the merrier!**

**BTW, Taion mean 'temperature' in English.**

Again, thankies…


	8. Regret

**

* * *

**

Regret

* * *

"_Hey you! How far have you gone with my sister?"_

"_Hah? What did you just said?" He wanted to make sure he heard it right. Knowing Kira, he has to make sure of what he really meant by that, before he gives his reply._

"_Are you deaf or just playing stupid? I said, how far have you gone with my sister? I'm sure you two kissed already, but I want to know if you have gone past the barriers of clothes and mushy mushies." He should be used with all the nonsense that pops out of Kira's mouth, but this time its different. He's used to talk with all the heeby jibbies and sex stuff with Kira, but when the topic involves her, things somehow feels awkward._

"_What are you talking about, I—" He could feel his cheeks burn; as he stammered with what words he should say. The truth is, they almost did it, but they decided to stop for some weird reasons. But of course he cant say that to her Brother. He doesn't want to die yet. _

"_Relax man. I'm not going to kill you if you DID slept with her. In fact, I'm encouraging you to do so. She doesn't have much time on her hands, and I want her as much as possible to experience things including that stuff. In fact, I want her to get married some day and have kids! All that stuff women are suppose to experience…" He could see the sincerity in Kira's eyes. Seldom can the great Paladin Jester be in such a serious mode. _

"_BUT! If I ever find out you tried to force her to do those weird stuff we saw in that S&M mag Dearka has, I swear, I'll skin you alive and soak you in vinegar while I castrate you and have your sick ass thrown into a crocodile pond. And since you're my friend, and I've known you for the longest time, it'll just be crocodiles, not alligators. Or piranhas."_

"_I'm not into that stuff __Kira. And relax. We haven't done anything yet." There. He said it. Seeing her naked doesn't count as having sex with her right? So the--_

"_ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Dude! I thought you were some Casanova or something! From what I heard, you were hot stud and all!" _

"_Gawd, this conversation is awkward. Don't you feel embarrassed talking like this about your sister? I mean, we're talking about your sister here!"_

"_Why should I? If it makes her happy then I'll support her all the way! In fact, if you ever get her pregnant, I'll even handle the baby expenses and all!"_

"_Are you on drugs?"_

"_But I don't think that'll be happening anytime soon, since you haven't even touched her. I mean, seriously! You're 19 already! And she's 18! You guys are legal! BUT NO! You guys are still stuck with highschool loveydoveys! Man seriously! Exchanging diaries? How lame is that?"_

"_Actually, it's a journal. We share it. I get it on M-W-F, she gets it on T-TH-S--"_

"_I don't need your sissy explanation! I want my sister to be a woman already!"_

"_Kira—" A familiar voice from behind made Kira jump in fear. It was Lacus, with her usual 'Kira-intimidating-looks'. The only person who could straighten up the Paladin Jester._

"_Oh. Hi. Lacus. How. Long. Have. You. Been. There?" Kira's words were reduced as he faced his judgment. "We. Were.Just. Talking. About--" Lacus walked past the terrified Kira, towards him._

"_I want you to know that I too, wants to make sure our Princess makes the most of her life, but I do want you two to take things easy. Don't rush things too much. And of course, never ever listen to what this idiotic moron just said. Or else…" Her last sentence made him feel the fear Kira is feeling right now. Like if he ever crosses that boundary, he might end up skinless, swimming in a vat of acid with alligators gnawing at his flesh._

"_Ahehehehe. I'll keep that in mind."_

* * *

"Am I not enough?" His voice echoed through the silent corners of his room. Shreds of clothing provide little cover for the exposed body of the trembling figure below him.

"After all the things I've done for you! Are they still not enough…" He did know what came over him, but as soon as he saw her with Rey, there was a great surge of anger rushing through his veins. There was this intense ache inside his chest; so intense that he just started doing things he does not have an explanation for. Things he's not suppose to be doing, or emotions he's not suppose to be feeling. Emotions like jealousy and anger.

"What are you talking about! I don't understand!" Her arms could only keep the distance between them scarce. She kept on pushing him away, but he was obviously stronger than her. With ease, he grabbed her wrists and held them above her. To prevent her legs from thrashing, he sat on her inner things, immobilizing her. Scant inches separated their bodies. He could feel the goose bumps on her skin caress his. He could feel the faint heat emanating from her body. He could see the ragged rise and fall of her chest. The contours that shape her body are all clear to his sight, effectively seducing him. Losing all the inhibitions he had, he decided to take the step. A step he had been desperately avoiding to take…

"Go on. This is what you wanted right? I won't fight. Do what you wish. After all, I mean nothing to you…I'm just another one of your flings."

Hearing the words 'nothing' and 'flings' struck his cord of sanity. Regaining his composure, he was shock to see what he has just done. He quickly let go of her and jumped off the bed, as if he was burned. He tossed a robe to her and ordered her to get dressed.

"I--I'm sorry. I don't know what just came over me. I know this is hard, but, Argh! I'm just stressed out. Get dress and go to your room. We'll talk about this tomorrow morning." He kept his back at her. He couldn't look at her. Ashamed of what he had just done. He kept his ears peeled, waiting for her footsteps to fade out of his room. He waited a little longer after he heard his door knob turn, and his door close before he turned. His comforter was still on the floor. His sheets still bear the evidence of her struggles. His pillows carry her scent. And her crying face still lingers in his mind, along with those words.

Burying his face in his palms, he took a deep breath. "Goddamn it. What the fuck have I done?"

The next day, the fact that Cagalli was acting nonchalantly made him feel extremely awkward. She had that usual poker face on, tending to her usual morning chores.

"Hey. About last night…I …" He couldn't sleep last night. The memory of that incident vividly plays in his mind, along with the strange emotions he felt.

"It's cool. After all, it wasn't the first time."

"Arent you mad at all? I embarrassed you in front of your friend!"

"I'm used to it. It's fine."

"I don't believe you! Look, I want to clear things with you, last night, I don't know what was I thinking…I just…" He cant believe he's stammering.

"I'm leaving." She didn't even looked at him in the eyes. She just nonchalantly prepared his breakfast, washed the dishes while he makes a fool of himself.

"What? "

"I said I'm leaving."

"Oh, You want me to give you a ride?"

"No. I'm going back to ORB." His insides suddenly made a 360 turn, while his brain froze. When he saw her dragging a trolley luggage, he regained his thoughts, along with that dull ache he felt from last night.

"What? You cant! I made a deal with Kira! You have to stay with me for a year." Why is he stopping her?

"I can talk to him. It's fine." He should be happy right?

"Wait, you still cant. I mean, can't you wait until I finish filming? I need your help." Why is he saying this?

"I don't do anything much of a help around here. And besides, you hated my guts."

"Look, I don't need to explain myself. You're my assistant remember? Therefore, you're going to help me. Taping starts tomorrow. We'll leave early morning. Pack stuff good for a month." Again, he couldn't bear to look her in the eyes. Nor even her face. Is he afraid of the expression she has right now? He doesn't want to answer. Instead, he finished his coffee, and left.

* * *

He could feel the bed undulating. He was sweating, and he could feel ecstasy flowing in his veins. Then he became conscious of the weight on his crotch. Atop him was a faceless blonde, naked. Her fingers were entwined with hers, and he could tell she was smiling. Each movement she makes, draws him near to climax. Closer, closer. He could feel his muscles tense up, especially the ones on his lower extremities as the moment draws near. Finally, bliss bursts inside him and unto her. He felt her body spasm along with his, collapsing into a breathless jelly. Wrapping one arm around her and the other caressing her face, he felt the dearest emotions e ever felt. Then he heard himself whisper: '_I love you so much…'_

"GODDAMN IT ATHRUN! Don't get a boner on me!" Dearka's shrill scream woke him up. The faces around them made him realize his situation. He's hard, and probably wet. And he's in the film bus. With Heine, Dearka and Stellar. Stellar. Of all people to see him like this.

"Damn it Dearka, shut it!" He desperately tried to cover the wet spot with his shirt, but to no avail. When suddenly a towel appeared in front of his face.

"Cagalli." He automatically grabbed the towel. And before he could thank her, she went back to her seat. He followed her with his discreet gaze, observing her every action. Ever since he told that she couldn't leave, she started to act cold towards him. Although she still does her morning chores and all, she doesn't talk, nor looks at him. Did he make the right decision? Why did he prevent her to go? If she goes, then he'll be free. Why keep this burden longer?

"Hey man. That assistant of yours sure acts cold on yah. Did something happen?" It was Dearka, helping him unload the rest of his luggage. They finally arrived at the new destination for the shooting, the famous beachfront of Aprilius. Originally, it was suppose to be in ORB. But according to one of the producers, it would be hard to book it in time, so they decided to just settle with what they can access with ease.

"What makes you think that?" Is it that obvious?

"Well, for one, you're unloading your stuff instead of her."

"Do you expect me to let a girl unload a heavy load?" He tossed a gym bag towards him in an effort to change a topic. But it failed.

"True, but still. The air between you two is just crackling with awkwardness. I dunno. It might just be my imagination. BUT HEEEEY! WE'RE IN APRILIUS BEACH FRONT! THAT MEANS BABES IN TWO PIECES!!"

"Can you remind me the reason of your presence here again?" he was relieved at the sudden change of topic, and intends to keep it. But somehow, seeing his pal running like a crazed bumpkin makes him regret his decision.

* * *

"JUST WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" the thick script book slammed hard against Heine's face. Followed by another. And another.

" Can't believe you did this, Heine! Of all people, I expect to do this…" Sobbing, Cagalli curled in fetal position. "And can't you be a little original? Asuran and Akari? What a fucked up originality for names! And the setting! The story! You promised you wont do anything that'll remind him of the past! You promised!" Heine approached her and gently patted her head. He offered her handkerchief to wipe her tears but instead she pushed him away.

"Don't you think the mere fact that you're here with him, could rouse his lost memories? I know you're saying that you just want to be with him and support him, but have you ever thought of its consequences?"

"…"

"Even though the doctors said his condition might be permanent, the key word's still there. 'MIGHT'. Meaning he may still recover it. And your presence…"

"HE WONT REMEMBER ME ANYMORE! I CAN FEEL IT! AND EVEN IF HE DID… I'm sure…it'll be too late…"

"Hush…I understand what you're trying to say but—"

"If you do, then you wouldn't have used that fucking story!"

"Don't blame it on the story. It has been planned over a year ago. We just didn't expect you to come."

"I don't understand…you betrayed me…I don't want him to remember. He's already happy…I wanted him to be happy…He doesn't deserve to be hurt anymore…"

"Then are you saying, it doesn't matter if you're hurting? That you're hurting both physically and emotionally?"

"Yes, it doesn't matter. After all the pain I made he go through…this pain I'm feeling, doesn't amount to what he felt during the times he was with me…that's why he cant remember! I don't want him to suffer anymore!"

"Then leave him now. Before everything is lost. Rey told me what happened. He saw your bruises. You're back on the anticoagulants right? That means you're worsening again. "

"It doesn't matter!"

"It does! I want you to leave him and return to ORB. Sign up for the surgery. You don't have to do this anymore. You just said he doesn't need you anymore. There are others who still need you, so…"

"I can't leave yet…not until I'm sure he's happy with Stellar…"

"That's a lame excuse. He's an adult Cagalli! He doesn't need looking after. Stop making stupid excuses and go back to ORB already!"

" Maybe I'm still hoping he will remember…I still love him you know. I still do. And it really hurts to see him like this. Being in a platonic pedestal. I feel such an idiot for pushing him like that in the past. And when I realized I depended on him too much, I pushed him away without thinking…Do you know that he got mad when he saw Rey hugging and me? Rey was just comforting me after I told him that I'm confused and anxious about the surgery Erica told me about. He said, he'd be the first person I'll see when I wake up from that surgery if I decided to take it. Then…then…"She forced herself to smile. A nonchalant smile to show that she's ok, that she's strong. But she failed. Tears began to pool in her eyes, slowly overflowing. And before they could trace down her cheeks, she buries her face in her hands, sobbing. Heine pulled her up and embraced her.

"Look, It's ok to hope. No one can prevent you from doing so…But please remember, there are people who are still here hoping for you too. Before, everybody was scared of losing you, but now that there is a possibility to cure you, you just nonchalantly tossed it away. For him. We understand that this is your way of atoning, but for how long are you pushing yourself? When will you give up? When will you let go? Please Cagalli…" He tightened his arms around her.

"I…Understand. I promise, I'll go back to ORB. As soon as the films premiers, I'm leaving…" Cagalli returned the squeeze, smiling.

"Are you kidding me? That's like a year from now! You don't have that luxury!"

"Please? A last favor…"

Behind the small glimmer, a pang of jealousy fills a quivering heart. Athrun Zala, by chance, has witnessed this seemingly platonic hug. A platonic embrace to these two, but an intimate embrace, to his eyes.

The Wheels have began turning, as Athrun takes a another step away from the truth.

* * *

**A/N:** Yeah! I updated! Today's the first day of my 'vacation'. Yeah right. Summer Sem just ended. And in a week's time Fall Semester starts. But before that, I might…I repeat, I might update the two remaining stories. Or better. I dunno.

**Terms! **

**Jikan yo Tomare:** Time, Stop!

**Anti Coagulant:** drugs used to prevent coagulation of the blood. People who use this are vulnerable in having bruises, or having bruises out of nowhere. Like the bruise just felt like appearing on that spot, and poof! These people are also vulnerable to bleeding. This type of medication is used in patients who are suffering from blood related disorders or who are in risk in developing embolus, or stroke or any blockage to the veins. People with heart problems are also given this drug to prevent any blockies on the arteries.


	9. Suteki danne

* * *

**Suteki Danne?**

_She overdid things again. Watching her sleep in this eye searing whiteness makes both his eyes and chest hurt. This is the third time she was rushed to a hospital. And the second time he was last to be informed. If it weren't for Heine and Dearka, who were present during her speech, he would never have found out. He doesn't understand. Why is he being left out of the picture? Ever since she decided to run after her father's footsteps as a politician, she had been acting strange. For some reasons, she feels so far away from his reach now. He could hardly spend a proper time with her, with her schedules and his internship at the hospital. _

_Is this the end of their relationship?  
_

_After all they've been through?  
_

_Is this it?_

_No. He won't allow it. He needs her. She's the only reason he's breathing. She's the only thing that keeps him moving. And losing her would be the worst thing that could ever happen to him. Her impending death is already a fact he has to deal with, but to have their relationship end, is something he could never take._

_He needs her._

* * *

Ever since the filming started, he had been having these strange dreams about a longhaired, faceless, blonde girl. He wanted to assume it was just Stellar, but he knew she never had that long hair. The disturbing part is that the dreams felt so real, as if it really happened, like a memory or something. But how can it be a memory, when he couldn't remember meeting such a person.

The dream was about the blonde girl and him walking in the rain. They were talking about somebody, and it seems the girl was upset about it. He too, was upset, but he was being cool about it. Then suddenly the girl said something that made his chest feel heavy. His eyes began to sting, and his entire body felt weak. The girl probably said something really disappointing, something really sad and painful, as he was crying really hard in the rain. When he turned to face her, the environment changed. This time he was in a white room, with a hospital bed in the middle. The blonde was sitting on the bed, holding an IV pole in her right hand. She was wearing a white hospital gown, and bandages covered all of her limbs. Seeing the girl like this, made his chest feels so much heavier. And this time, there was a sharp pain beating inside. He stood up and tried to walk towards the blonde, but with each steps he take, her body begins to fade. And every time a part of her fades, he could hear her say: "You've forgotten everything about me…you've broken your promise…But that doesn't matter…I'm glad you've forgotten me…I only caused you pain…I never deserved you…I could only watch you from the dark…" Whenever he hears her speak, he could hear his mind scream "NO!" or "that's not true!" But those words stayed inside his mind.

When he finally got to her, all that remains of her was her faceless face that seems like it was crying. He wanted to touch it, caress it, and comfort it, but the moment he touched her, it finally faded away. This time, the heaviness in his chest was so intense; he fell down on the ground, sobbing hard. The pain inside was throbbing with each beat his heart makes, and he could feel the agony eating him slowly. For some reasons, he wanted the girl to return. He wanted her back. But something inside tells him she wont be coming back. Ever. And that mere thought was enough to make him shout out loud, enough to wake him up:"DON'T GO!"

That very same dream has been plaguing him for a while now, and for some reasons, the emotions he felt from the dream continues to follow him, intensifying more and more with each day passing. It's obviously eating him up, affecting his moods and judgments. Especially when it comes to that annoying girl, Cagalli. Ever since he saw her with Heine, he's been irritated with her. How can she flirt like that with his friends? Such a vulgar attitude. Did Kira ever teach her proper manners? No wonder she's so relax when he was about to rape her. She only flinched a little, and then went passive. Such a whore.

Whatever made him stop her from leaving? He should have kicked her out that moment. Why the hell did he even bring her here? If she's just gonna fuck around, then it's better if she leaves.

Argh. What a great way to start the day. A mysterious dream about a weird blonde and a fucked up reminder about a blonde bitch. But looking on the bright side, he gets to spend the entire day with a really cute blonde.

Stellar.

He doesn't really like 'like' her. But being with her makes him feels comfortable. Relax and calm. She's fun to be with, sweet and kind. And for some reasons, nostalgic. The total opposite of the blonde bitch. Plus she's a 100 girl. Compared to that tomboy, she's like the ideal girl for him. She may not be that well endowed, but it's the qualities that matter. He could just have her undergo a breast augmentation, and she'll be D-cup.

Ah yes. She's the girl for him. And speaking of blondes, there wont be any filming today. He could hang out with Stellar for the entire day. She did mention she wanted to explore the Beach Side, so here's his opportunity to take her out with out causing any flares. A chance to really take their relationship to the next level.

* * *

"Ah! Erica? What do you want?" Even though there wont be any filming for the day, Cagalli, Athrun's 'assistant' had an entire day to work off. In fact, an entire day isn't enough to finish all her work. Costume managements, Props, and planning with side team are among the few things she had to deal with. She already skipped breakfast and went head on to work, just to make all the due priorities in time. If it weren't for her phone ringing, she wouldn't have taken her long overdue morning break.

"Hmm… Is that how you talk to me? My, My, what happened to your manners?"

"I'm kinda busy right now. What it is?"

"Mmmm… I thought you said you're not going to push yourself too hard. Bad Cagalli!"

"Look, if you just called to poke in your stingy nose, then I don't have time for it. I'm hanging up!"

"Rey told me what happened."

"…"

"I lost count how many times I told you to be careful. Especially now that you're back on the anti-coagulants. With your current state, even a slight cut could kill you! You know that!"

"I know that. But do you expect me to leave a broken glass vase on the floor and no do anything about it?"

"Idiot! You could have used a different way to clean it up! But no! You used your bare hands to pick the shards! Even a normal healthy person wont dare to do that!"

"…"

"Rey was seriously scared when he realized you wont stop bleeding! Thanks goodness Talia was there! At least she knew what to do!"

"I just have to apply enough pressure on the cut to stop the bleeding right? I know that. And besides--"

"That's not the point! What if you unconsciously cut yourself? You could bleed to death! You don't have proper coagulating abilities! If you can't take care of yourself properly, then you'll leave me no choice!"

"I'm sorry Erica. I'm really am. But I'm really careful. What happened before was just an accident. Y'know, instinct. But really, I'm taking good care of myself here. So please?"

"Argh. You little spoiled princess! You better make sure you're scathe free, next time I see you or else!"

"Yeah, I'll stay good. Thanks. Bye."

"Oh By the way--Ah, never mind. Bye."

She wanted to know what Erica was about to say, but she hung up. When she was about to call Erica back, one of the staff called out to her, inquiring about one of the costumes for scene 20.

* * *

"Ah, Look Athrun! Is that a starfish?" Watching Stellar walk the shores bare feet gave him a weird feeling of déjà vu. It was as if this had happened before. The same setting. Late afternoon, with the sun setting. But then again, maybe it was just one of those weird dreams he's been having.

Yeah. That's right. That's just probably it.

"Ah! Hurry Athrun! Help me!" Stellar was waving frantically at him. She was kneeling on the wet shore, with her white dress all wet and sandy. Apparently she found a starfish washed on the shore or something. Seriously, going to the beach wasn't part of his plan. For some reasons, beaches give him a weird feeling. Like there's a knot inside his chest tightening, overwhelming his senses. Last year, when he went out to shoot one of his music videos in a beach in ORB, he began crying unconsciously, and had difficulty breathing. The staff panicked and didn't know what to do. He just couldn't stop crying. The shooting was cancelled and the site was changed because of that. Ever since then, he avoid beaches. But this for this movie, he decided to take a chance. And so far, so good. He walked hesitantly towards her, forcing a smile. He had come this far…so a little more enduring wont hurt.

Or is it?

"Look, I think it's still alive. There's a couple of them washed on the shore. Can you help me put them back on to the sea? I'm afraid they might die if we leave them on the shore like this--" Without any warning, he felt his entire body freeze. His throat suddenly feels dry and a headache begins to pound on his temple. And that knot feeling inside his chest…

'…_I'm returning the starfish back to the sea! They wont survive that long if they stay here in the shores. I want them to live much longer, that's why I'm helping them….'_

With a handful of starfishes in her hands, Stellar walks toward the undulating waves until the water level was about knee high. Then taking a deep breath, she threw all the starfishes back to the sea.

"Geez! Don't just stand there! Help me Athrun!" She pulled his hand down, forcing him to kneel on the sand. And as if his entire body was in an automatic mode, he began picking up starfishes.

'_I don't have much time to live because I have a really weak heart. But the doctors are really trying their best to help me. And that's why, I thought I should do the same for these stranded starfishes too! Give them a chance to live another day!'_

With a handful of starfishes, he went to the same water level and threw the starfishes.

_'Will you help me return them back?'_

He went back to the shore to pick up more starfishes when he felt a hand pull his. As he turned around to face the person, for a split second, he saw a nostalgic face. The face of the faceless blonde, with her radiant long amber hair dancing in the tune of the sea breeze.

"Why are you crying Athrun?" The face disappeared, and Stellar's face came into view. And it was then he became conscious of the tears incessantly flowing on his cheeks.

"I--I--Don't know…."Stammering, he desperately began wiping his face with his palms. He tried to remember the face he saw, but miserably failed. Instead, the knot inside his chest began to tighten harder. So tight, it became so hard to stand up. He felt his knees gave in, crumbling into the knee-deep seawaters.

'_Will you help me?'_

"I think we should go back now. Or do you want to rest for a while?" Stellar pulled him up, and aided him in walking. She made him sit on the farthest bench by the seaside railing, away from prying eyes.

"Yeah. Can you call a taxi? I don't wanna be seen like this." He kept his shades on as he watched Stellar wall towards a quiet spot to call a taxi. He feels so embarrassed to have such an attack in front of Stellar. But for some reasons, that felt insignificant compared to the overwhelming pain he was feeling. Yet ironically, when he had the glimpse of that faceless blonde, there was a tinge of longing beating alongside the pain…

He wants to see her!

Once more!

Even if it meant he'll have to cry a sea of tears!

Even if it meant he'll have to endure such pain!

Once more…

"Lemme see your face…just once more…"

* * *

"Hello? Lacus?"

"Ah, Heine. Where are you?"

"I'm in Aprilius' Beach Front, for a movie shoot. Why?"

"I heard about the script. How'd she take it?"

"Uhmm..well…you know…a tantrum here, a flying book there, and some flying huh-ah-hahs! That kind."

"I see."

"How about Kira? Did he go berseker mode?"

"As if he could do that in front of me. But yeah, he was upset."

"Well…I can't really stand here doing nothing. Sooner or later, someone has to do something about this."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. Especially after what Ms. Erica told me. Cagalli's getting worse huh?"

"Ah that. Yeah she is. Apparently Erica returned her to the blood thinner therapy. It's suppose to help her, but the way I see it, it's more of a double edge blade."

"I know. And I can't bring myself to tell Kira about this. Nor about the other thing."

"Hmm?"

"Erica just told me about the last examination results. It seems like she really doesn't much have any choice but to do that surgery."

"Kindly explain."

"You know that Cagalli was born with a bad heart right? The hole inside her heart didn't closed properly. It wasn't till she was 4 when the symptoms began to show. She almost died. She underwent surgery to close the hole, but it didn't worked. If it weren't for Athrun, she would have died in the beach, all by herself. The doctors found out that the patch they used to close the hole didn't worked the way it was supposed to be. And the worst part is, the hole had gotten bigger. They made a new patch, but this time they had doubts as to whether this will do the trick. They warned her family that the hole might continue to grow and opening her heart wont be an option. Each time they open her heart, it weakens it and adds to the problem. The next time they open her up might forever seal her fate. However there are other options. One is to get a new heart. The other is an artificial heart. But getting in the list is no easy job. She must have a profoundly critical state to be a part of the list. And the last and so far the easiest yet dangerous option is to replace the entire wall of her heart. This is a relatively new kind of treatment, so there are great risks. And the fact that her heart is getting weaker."

"So what's the bad news?"

"The hole…it's starting to grow again. That's why she was placed back on the anti coagulants. It prevents any clots or blockage to the growing hole, temporarily. Not only that, her heart's performance during the cardiac stress test proved that her heart is starting to fail…"

"Are you saying…"

"That's why, I decided to take measures. I went to the old apartment they used to live. Y' know when they were still living together, and I found one of their journals."

"That uber cheesy journal?"

"Yeah. But it was just the volume 3."

"What do you mean Volume 3?"

"Oh? You didn't know? Athrun gets really anal about their shared journals. All of their journals are neat and hardbound. Not a single fold or anything. All are color coded and dated, depending on the volume. I found the 3rd volume; I believe it was during Cagalli's last year in high school. I swear its soo mushy!"

"So what's the plan?"

"I want you to give it to him. I'm trying to find the rest of the volumes. And I want you to make sure he reads all of them. And hopefully, it would make him remember…before everything's too late."

* * *

A/N: Yeah! I updated!

**Hades:** Yeap! Aspirin counts as an anti coagulant, but its not specifically designed for it. It's sorta like a uber mild mild blood thinner.

**Shiloah:**Yeash. Reviews make Authors happy. Especially long ones. So make your author proud and happy. Review their work! Thanks for the grammar check. Obviously, I'm one of those lazy writers who are more eager in uploading their stories than checking them. Also, I have a weird way of talking, so excuse some of the wierd phrasing. XD

**Nareiya:**I sorta patterned him after my so-called twin brother AKA Kira Yamato in one of the forums I frequent to. Like the Kira here, he's really funny and stuff...the 'Ill support you all the way' attitude is just a tag on.

**Daylight Craziness:** I happy I was able to influence your day. Yay! Anyways, hopefully this chapter answered your q. About the psychic thing..hmm..close?

**Dinah:** I'm thinking of having them beat the crap out of Athrun then throw him into a really busy traffic for some heavy head trauma. Then hopefully it'll help him remember the stuff...XDDD That would be a nice spoof...XDD

**Pinkberry:** There, there, I granted your wish. I was bored and depressed I dunno whether I should buy a new PC or not. Or whether I should go buy a desktop or a laptop. But who cares about that! I uploaded! I'm really happy you like my stories! And hopefully you'll continue to support my other works as well.

**Asucaga01:** If the last chapter was dramatic and angsty, I wonder how the rest of the of the chaps would be? Thanks again for your patronage! I do hope you'll like this installment**!**

**darkness eyes:** Thanks for the review! here's your new serving!

About the other fics, I've started working on Airen, but somehow I don't like the chapter I came up with. I need to watch something depressing first before I could go back on the fic. As for Crimson, I'm stuck. I got two really kewl ideas, but I don't know which to pick. I'll get over it, but it might take a while. I'm open for opinions and ideas for both fics. So, for now, I'll focus on this one.** But somehow, the review rates went down.**

**NOOOOEEEES!! You don't like it? WHYYYYY?? Just when I was really getting into it! I thought you guys love it….sulks… O.o**

**last time there was a lot of reviews, but now, I just got 8...**

**WHYYYYY!!What HAPPENED? IS IT GETTING BORING? TELL MEEEEE!! O.o;**

**Terms:**

**Suteki Danne Ne: Isnt Wonderful?**

**Blood thinners: Same as anti coagulants. One of the side effects of this drug aside from having weird bruises pop out from nowhere is bleeding. It inhibits the thingies/cells that stops bleeding to do their job. Meaning, a single cut can be proven fatal. It's a really freaky thing. **


	10. Diamond Crevasse

* * *

**_Diamond Crevasse_**

* * *

"_I think we should end this." It was supposed to be a sweet and intimate night. A very special night between the two of them. He booked a room at the fanciest hotel, with a view of the grandest scenery of ORB, had a violinist to serenade her, ordered the most expensive wine and even had the cheesiest decorations. But most importantly, he bought that ring she had been dreaming about. That engagement ring she wanted, if ever they got engaged. It was a simple band with two gems on it, and it certainly didn't fit their standing. The price was satisfactory, but to have the "Princess" of ORB wear such an ordinary looking ring was just too sad. But she really liked it. So he had to go back to that shop and reserve that ring. Turns out it was already sold, so he had to order another, and this time he added a little touch to it. When the ring arrived a month ago in his mail at the University Hospital, he had been suffering from a bad case of daydreaming. Every now and then, he would drift away into his fantasy world, imagining how her reaction would be when she receives this ring, or when he proposes to her. With so many versions of his daydreaming, he thought he already knew how her reaction in real life would be. He never expected this outcome._

"_What are you talking about?" The knot inside his chest began coiling around his heart, tightening its grip with each minute that ticked by._

"_We barely have time for each other. You're too busy with your studies and internship, while I'm always away with all the meetings and conferences I have to go to as a politician. Not to mention the check ups I have to go to. I barely have time for myself, much less time for hearing your voice." _

"_That's why we should get married! At least—"_

"_You don't understand. I can't give you happiness. Not with this body of mine. I can't give you children! And I'll just be another burden for you when that time comes!"_

" _Why can't you understand? I love you despite your flaws! I don't care if you can't give me kids! We can always adopt kids! And to hell with that condition of yours! I'll still be there for you even when you die! I just want you by my side…"_

" _I cant. I don't want to burden you anymore…I've caused you so much pain…"_

"_Why are we having this fucked up argument again? Didn't I tell you already? I don't give a damn! As long as you're with me! Why can't you understand that? I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!"_

"_I'm…sorry…I…still can't…"_

* * *

"Give me your hand." With out even waiting for Asuran's response, Akari grabbed his hand.

"Wait! What're you doing?" He auspiciously watched her trace the lines on his palm, starting from the thumb, then to the three major lines, going up and down with each finger, and finally ending with the pinky.

"If you're trying to tickle me, you know that wont work." She was never the affectionate type. Unlike the other girls he' d dated from before, she doesn't like public display of affection. She blushes so hard when he holds her hand in public, and he would often receive an elbow in the side if he dares to kiss her on the lips, or even on the cheeks in public. But every once in a while, she would come up with the most embarrassing ways to show her fondness. And maybe this is one of those times. With her other hand, she dug something out of her pockets.

"Close your eyes." She turned her face. Is she blushing?

"Why should I?" He could tell from his angle that she's blushing. Teasing her more will be a good idea.

"I said…Close your eyes!"

"Only if you'll kiss me first."

"Don't be stupid. Close your eyes"

"Kiss me first then I will close my eyes."

"Fine! Never mind!"

"Geez. Don't get so mad! Fine, I'll close my eyes!" He gingerly closed his eyes, heightening his senses to her actions. He felt something being tied around his finger. Something thin. A thread perhaps?

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"Wait…. There! Open your eyes!"

"What--" He forgot what he was about to say when he saw the red thread tied on his pinky.

"I read from my cultural book that this is how a couple finds their true love. They say Fate ties a red thread that connects the two lovers and--" He didn't let her finished her words. He knew about this custom. She doesn't need to explain.

" I know. But you know, we don't need a thread to connect the two of us. We'll always share a bond, forever." He gathered her in his arms, embracing her fragile body tightly.

"That's…too cheesy!"

"Look who's talking!" He felt her laugh against his chest. Her warm breath fanning against his chest, with only the thin layers of cloth separating their bodies. He could feel the quick pacing of her pulse beating loudly against his. "I'll keep this thread nevertheless…"

" Huh?"

"It's the proof of our bond…"

"AND CUT!! That was perfect Athrun! Absolutely perfect! And as for you Stellar, for a rookie, you sure have good emotions there!" Mwu La Flaga, the overly exaggerated director came flagging the couple with towels and water bottles. Turning to an assistant, he ordered another water bottle.

"Ah. Mr. La Flaga, It was nothing, it was mostly because of Athrun. He practiced with me during break hours, and that really helped my acting!" Stellar beamed innocently, as she graciously accepted the towel.

"Who do you think you're talking to La Flaga? Wait till the kissing scene…I promise you it'll be even more intense!" Athrun scoffed as he grabbed the bottle from La Flaga and downed it in one quick motion.

"Yeah, Yeah. Whatever. I'll give you guys a break. We'll start taping the other scenes later so you guys can do your business."

"What time do you need us back?" Stellar shyly asked.

"Well, the scenes we'll be doing are the ones with the other actors. So you two are free for the rest of the day. However, tomorrow we'll be starting on the 'tragic climax' so guys be in bed by 8! We're starting early and I don't want sleepy morons on the set!"

"Whatever. Let's go Stellar."

* * *

The sound of water flushing down the drain echoed through out the grim corners of the bathroom. On the floor were empty canisters scattered around a slumped form of a blonde woman, silently weeping. Only the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest and the flaring of her nostrils proved that she was still 'alive'. Her skin has paled and her eyes had been emptied out of any emotions, along with all the tears she could possibly shed.

A limp arm tried to reach one of the canisters on the floor, but it rolled away from her reach. She tried once more, but the dry cough quaked her entire body. The overwhelming pain inside her chest intensifies with every cough, and all she could do is curl up in a desperate effort to quell the pain ragging her. As the coughing subsided, a red tint stained her lips. A faint smile touched her paling lips as she stood up to wipe the stain when a surprise knock on her door brought alarm to her.

"Hey, Cagalli? Are you there? I'm done for the day; so after you're done, you can go pick up my stuff at the set. Prepare the costumes for scene 35. And I won't be back till late, so don't bother saving me dinner. Bye."

She rushed to open the door, but he was gone. She wanted to ask him where he'd be going even though she already has an idea as to where. And whom would he be with. She closed the door again. Picking up the canisters, she wondered how long would her remaining pills last her and should she ask Heine or Dearka to get her her medications when it runs out. But the image of a delirious Heine wouldn't be nice so she shrugged off the idea. If it runs out, then that'll be the end of her. So far, she only has ten pills remaining. Scratch that. She'll be taking the two in an hour. That makes it eight. Another faint smile touched her lips as she watched her reflection in the mirror. She had wondered what kind of ending her life would have; now it has taken this turn.

"Would you still have lost your memories…if we didn't break up that night?" Caressing her reflection with her crimson stained hand, another wave of coughing shook her entire body.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to go to the beach? What if—" Ever since they got in the car, she had this long look on her face.

"I need to find out if your theory is right. That is if I really have lost memories." Wasn't it her idea to find the identity of this girl?

"Mmmm…but then what if you do have lost memories? And what if you find out who that girl is? What will become of me? Are you going to cast me aside?" Shifting a gear, he made a turn towards the beach side. He really wants to know if he does have such memories. But…

"What are you talking about? Of course not. That girl's my past. You're my present. So what makes you think I'll just throw you aside?" In truth, he's not even sure with his feelings about her. Sure, she makes him feel comfortable, but there's something missing.

"I'm scared that you might dump me once you find her. I've already given you my 'everything'." A slight blush touched her cheeks as her hand touched the hand on the shift stick.

"Geez. I don't even know what kind of relationship I had with her! What if she's just my long lost sister?"

"Still! Let's just ditch the beach and go somewhere else. I don't want you to remember about that girl. Aren't you happy with me? Why do you have to remember her?"

He wanted to say because it bothers him, but his words got caught between the kisses. He had to turn his hazard lights on and parked on a crummy looking lot. Thank goodness his car had tinted windows, or else this will be another scandal. Well, at least it's not a 'homo' scandal. At least…now…

He watched dreamily as Stellar began unbuttoning his shirt.

Ah shit. Who cares about scandals? This moment is more important than anything else.

So his day ended with him getting a parking ticket, a messy car interior, and a slightly lighter wallet, thanks to Stellar's shopping sprees. It's been a month since that incident at the beach. He thought Stellar would avoid him because of that, but to his surprise, it drew her closer. She also came up with weird theories about that incident, like having repressed memories or events from his past life, or some movie he'd seen as a child that had something to do with beaches, or something happened to him during his childhood at the beach like: he almost drowned or something. He dismissed some of the theories, except for one. And it was the strangest theory so far. A repressed memory. Maybe he does have repressed memories. He remembered something about his accident few years back. Something about the doctors telling him he had some kind of amnesia. But he remembered everything correctly. Even his parents' birthdays and addresses of his old schools, he was able to recite them.

So then why did the doctors say he had amnesia?

Ransacking his mind, he turned left and dropped Stellar off at her hotel. Stellar wanted to stay in this hotel because of their well-known shellfish platter and charbroiled Mahi-mahi. But Dearka claimed it was just because she is a social climber who wants to have all the fancy, glimmery things.

Glimmery? A ring?

Yes. Now he remembered. Kira showed a jewelry box to him. It was a simple looking ring with two gems on it. Kira asked him if he could remember anything from that ring, and he casually said no. And if he remembered it correctly, Kira had the weirdest look on his face when he said no. Shortly after he asked him about the ring, he excused himself and left. He never saw the ring after that.

Maybe that ring can answer his question. Or better yet, Kira could have the answers to his questions! That's it! After the filming, he'll ask Kira.

Instead of heading back to his hotel, he decided to stop by the set. It was already midnight, but he knew there would still be people there. He wanted to check out the set for the 'tragic scene' so he could prep up his 'emotions'. He never expected it would end up triggering another 'scene'.

"Ah! Mr. Zala! Shouldn't you be resting now?"

"I came to check on the set. Is it ready?"

"Yes. Your assistant just finished the final touches. She seems to be very knowledgeable about medical equipment."

"Oh? Is she? Nice to hear my assistant is useful to you guys."

"Hahaha. Ms. Cagalli is really helpful. Its hard to imagine she's Kira's sister."

"Tell me about it!"

"Anyways sir, I'll take my leave now. Ms. Cagalli is in the blue RV if you need her. And don't turn off the lights when you leave. Leave them on."

"Got that. G' night then. Drive safely!" The crewmember waved goodbye and left. He watched the man's figure disappear from his vision before going along. Passing through the RVs parked by the set warehouse, he suddenly heard a weird panting sound. At first, it freaked him out, but when he remembered Cagalli was still there, lecherous thoughts popped into his mind.

Could she be playing with herself?

He blushed hard at his own thoughts. Without even knocking, he opened the door of the RV. And there he found Cagalli, sprawled on the floor of crimson.

* * *

"Hmm…You're back later than usual. Is it because of that fag?" The smell of cigarette filled Stellar Loussier's suite.

"Yeah. But look! He bought me new outfits! He paid for everything too!"

"Did you sleep with him?"

"Look! He even bought me a new purse! You know, the one that just came out this season--"

"STELLAR! DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH HIM?" The man grabbed her wrists firmly.

"Yes. But I had to! Otherwise, he'll start talking about that weird girl again!"

"The girl he called 'Cagalli'?"

"I think so."

"Still, isn't it a shallow excuse to be having sex with him? Could it be you're falling for him?"

"Hah? Are you kidding me? Stellar loves Shinn more than anything. Stellar is just using him so that Stellar can reach her dreams of becoming a famous star!"

"Then prove it. Prove that you still like me more than that guy."

Stellar smiled as she pushed Shinn to the bed. "Very well then. Stellar will prove it to you."

* * *

Special thanks to An Instant King, for beta-reading this chapter.Also to Shuiede, for taking a time to read this one. And lastly, to all my avid reviewers!!

As a form of thankies, here's a quick preview for the next hapter. _'If I were a bird'_

* * *

_**..."I don't need a doctor…don't call anyone…just…stay here…with me…"**_

_**..."Are…you happy…with Stellar?"**_

_..."Hi. Erica. Can you book me a ticket to ORB for the end of this month?"_

_"Oh, I still have a lot. I just bought some a few days ago."_

_"You did? But they're prescriptions drugs. You can't just get them over the counter."_

_"I know that, so I asked one of my friends who works in a hospital pharmacy. He got me some."_

_"Are they of the same dosage?"_

_"Straight down to the packaging. I'm good Erica. Anyways, good bye."_

_"Very well then. I'll see you soon. Take care."_

_She flipped her phone off. Downing the last two pills, she smiled whispering 'Cheers! To Athrun's happiness', while humming the melody from the music box._

* * *

The preview wont really make much of a sense. But I hope it gives you a quick look at what's brewing. Anyways, it's done and ready to be uploaded. BUUUT..I wont. Until I get at least 15 reviews. Well, minimum of 14.

Seriously, I checked my hits, and Last Song gained more than 400 hits last month! So where are your reviews? At least give a a 20? or something? Please?


	11. If I were a bird

* * *

As promised. Again, special thanks goes out to _An Instant King_ for the beta.

Also, to feel the effect of the Chapter, and hear what kind of melody was used in this chapter, listen to :w w w. youtube . com / watch ? v LehdFNMQajc or if this doesn work, search 'IF were a bird CG R2' in youtube or Imeem. It should be a really sad musicbox melody. I'm sure you'll like it.

* * *

_**If I were a bird…**_

"_Did you hear? Athrun-sama has one of those lover's diary!"_

"_Seriously? Then would that mean he already has a girlfriend?"_

"_I think so. What else would it be?"_

"_Awww…then I missed my chance!"_

"_As if you had the chance! Hahaha. But I wonder what kind of girl is his girlfriend?"_

"_Hmm...Yeah. Makes me wonder too. She must be really pretty!"_

"_Like Ms. Lacus?"_

"_Isnt she going out with Kira? How about Ms Cagalli?"_

"_Naah. I don't think so. Ms Cagalli isn't the type to go out with the type of Arthun-sama. She's just too pure." _

"But wait. Rumor has it she also has a lover's diary too!"

"_Kyaah! How cute is that!"_

_--_

"_Athrun…This is embarrassing. Why do we need to swap diaries?" Her disguise for this day was a pair of thick glasses and a fake black wig. This time it was Heine, the Drama club's president's idea. If she left the disguise plans to her brother, she might end up looking like a mascot or a clown. If only she didn't have a name 'Athha' like her brother, then she wouldn't have to don this stupidity. She always wanted to go out with him like a normal couple, going on dates with out paparazzi or crazed stalkers like the last time, hounding after them._

"_If you lose the disguise thingy, then I'll drop the diary thing." He whispered as he pulled her chair closer to him. He bribed the student librarian with Lacus' pictures just to have this part of the library closed. Just so he can spend time with her alone._

"_But I cant."_

"_Then it's a no." He watched her head bow down, as she started scribbling her version of that day in their diary. He understood why she had to wear a disguise during their dates in and out of the campus, but there are times he just wants to flaunt the fact that he's going out with her. It's kind of hard having a popular girlfriend._

"_There! Done!" he snatched the diary from her hands quick enough before she could stuff it back in her bag. If he wasted any time, it'll take two or more days before he could read the contents._

"_Hmm…not bad. Three pages? Why didn't you write down the color of your undies today? You already wrote down what you had for lunch and--Yeoch! Why'dya hit me?"_

"_You pervert!" _

" _I was just kidding! Anyways, I got a present for you!" He grabbed his backpack and pulled out a small box._

"_What is it?" _

"Don't ask me. Open it."

"_Mmm…wah. A music box? Thank you so much!"_

"_I want you to play that music box just before you go to sleep. That way, I'll be the last person in your mind when you go to bed."_

* * *

"Cagalli! Are you okay? Answer me!" He scooped up her limp form, trying to figure out the source of the bleeding.

Her eyes fluttered open. "Athrun…" Her hand sought his, intertwining her fingers limply with his. He didn't understand what she was doing, so he just ignored her actions. He was too occupied to give any thought to any deeper meanings about it.

"Hey! Stay with me! I'll go take you to a doctor okay? Hang in there!" He found a small cut on her arm. It was bleeding profusely but not enough to cause a puddle of crimson on the floor. Nevertheless, he ripped off the hem of his shirt, seeing it was the nearest thing he could turn into a tourniquet. Then he lifted her up and laid her on the couch.

"I don't need a doctor…don't call anyone…just…stay here…with me…"

"What the hell? I am not going to be responsible for your death, so shut--" He felt her arm loop around the back of his neck. And before he knew it, her lips touched his. A long lagging silence followed, before he could react. When his thoughts regained their senses, he pushed her off him, with a look of guilt on his face. It felt like he committed a grave crime against her and Kira. He already carries the burden of shame from harboring such lurid thoughts about his best friend's sister. He couldn't afford any more sins. If he hadn't pushed her back, who knows what might have happened next.

"If I die…like this…it would be…a dream…come true…" A faint smile full of pain greeted him.

"What the hell? Your brother will kill me if something bad happens to you." He checked the cut. It had stopped bleeding. But the problem is, what caused the puddle on the floor?

"Hey. You. I need to change your clothes. You look like shit in those. So stay awake. Don't drift off. Or else I'll really call an ambulance." He didn't wait for her reply. He went to the cabinets and costume closet, and grabbed a decent dress. He stopped by the utilities drawer and grabbed some towels, both wet and dry then went back to her side.

There he found her sitting limply on the couch, humming a melody. A familiar, somehow nostalgic melody.

"Raise your arms. Lemme get this shirt off you." He tried to concentrate on the work at hand. But the melody is just too familiar. Where did he hear it?

"Do… you remember? This melody? It was…the melody from the…music box you gave me…"

"What music box? I don't recall giving you a music box!"

She smiled. "You said that I need to play that music box before I go to sleep. That way, you'll be the last person I'll be thinking about…. when I go to sleep…"

"That's bullshit. C'mon, stand up. I'll take you to the hotel." He felt bad for lying to her, but he's not going to risk his career on some confused woman. Or ruin a budding relationship with Stellar or his time-tested friendship with Kira. He tried pulling her up, but obviously her body was too weak. He quickly grabbed a blanket and draped it around her to prevent her from catching cold. Weak as she is, he had to give her a piggyback ride all the way to his car, thankful that he parked close to the RV.

"Are…you happy…with Stellar?"

"What kind of shit are you talking about?" He was thankful no one was around. It would be really embarrassing if somebody sees him doing this kind of thing. A superstar like him carrying some nobody like this. It could spawn so many rumors, rumors he has no time to deal with.

"If you're happy…then…that would be nice…I can leave your side now…"

"Shut up. You're just confused. You're not making any sense…"

"You finally found…your happiness… I don't need to do anything then…"

"I said just shut up. You're just delusional. "

"This way…you won't need to suffer…when I close my eyes…eternally…"

"…"

"I'd just be another part of your useless memories…and soon…soon…you'll forget everything about me…"

"…"

"I'm…happy…really happy…"

--

"Are you her husband?" After more than an hour of waiting, the emergency room physician finally came out.

"No. I'm her boss. How is she?"

"Did you know anything about her condition?"

"What condition? Tell me, is she going to be all right?"

"She…well… her condition isn't turning out well. I cannot tell you anymore details, as you are not a member of her family. All I can tell you is that you have to take care of her. She seems to be currently undergoing drug therapy, but it may not be enough. Her inability to breath properly is one of the symptoms of her condition. If it happens again, then I suggest you take her to the nearest hospital and have her admitted there. As for now, let her rest. She'll be in tip top shape when she wakes up."

"Can you at least clue me in? How can you expect me to help her if I don't know what's wrong with her?"

"I already did. Just don't stress her out. That's the best thing you can do for her."

--

The shooting next day started later than planned. Athrun left Cagalli at the hospital, and headed back to the set. He kept missing lines and bumping up scenes, so in the end, Mwu had to call it off. As soon as he got dismissed, he planned to go back to the hospital, only to bump into the patient herself in the RV.

"Hi. G'Morning."

"Cagalli! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?"

"I'm good. Don't worry. It was just an asthma attack. I won't die from it. And if I said some nonsense last night, can you just shrug them off? I tend to ramble when I'm having an attack, so…"

Dumbfounded, he could only watch her pass by him, wearing that smile of hers. The word 'die' begins to reverberate inside him, along with the melody she was humming from last night.

* * *

"Hi. Erica. Can you book me a ticket to ORB for the end of this month?"

"Hah? Can you repeat that again?"

"Don't be stupid. Just do it"

"No. I didn't hear you clearly. Repeat it again."

"I said, book me a ticket to ORB."

"Oh my goodness! What have you done to my Cagalli?"

"Shut up."

"Hahaha. Anyways, what made you change your mind so quick?"

"My job is done. He found his happiness. I can exit from his life peacefully."

"Hmmm…so then you'll want to do the surgery then?"

"I don't recall saying anything about the surgery."

"But…"

"I'm just returning home. And, can you tell Kira to prepare the apartment too? I'm sure they kept it in shape, but just in case…"

"Oh by the way, do you still have your pills? I can send you some right now."

"Oh, I still have a lot. I just bought some a few days ago."

"You did? But they're prescriptions drugs. You can't just get them over the counter."

"I know that, so I asked one of my friends who works in a hospital pharmacy. He got me some."

"Are they of the same dosage?"

"Straight down to the packaging. I'm good Erica. Anyways, good bye."

"Very well then. I'll see you soon. Take care."

She flipped her phone off. Downing the last two pills, she smiled whispering 'Cheers! To Athrun's happiness', while humming the melody from the music box.

Again, review! Rant! Lemme hear your voices!!


	12. Why

_When Kira and Lacus arrived, he could barely stand up. His entire face was drained of color, lips close to the shade of pale red, and his whole body was trembling uncontrollably. His face was a picture of horror and anxiety, an expression the couple never expected to see from such composed man. _

"_Calm down Athrun, it's ok. Erica's inside. I'm sure she'll take care of her. She always does." Lacus touched his forehead gingerly. She wanted to give comfort to him, but even she herself has nothing to say that would be consoling. Turning to her fiance, hoping he could give an assuring pat or something to the shaken man. But the blank look on Kira proved futile. How can she expect Kira to console him when it's his sister who's in danger. _

"_It'll be alright. I'm sure...she's strong like that. I know she'll be alright..." Minutes ticked by, turning to hours. The eerie silence has laid its nest amongst them, adding to the grim scent of the hospital corridors._

"_When was the last time she had her medicine?" They didn't noticed Erica's presence in the waiting room. Tired circles adorned her eyes, as strands of hair lined her cheeks. _

"_I—I--I dont know. Yes--ter--day? I've--been at the University Hospital for--a week now." His lips were trembling so hard that he had to bite them just to make them stop. A faint trickle on blood lined his lower lip as he opened his mouth. "is she—alright?"_

_Lacus' trembling hands sought the frigid hands of her fiance. She knew Erica would say 'She's fine' or 'She's as lively as a horse' but somehow the feeling of dread filled her entire body._

"_There's a reason why I gave her medications. They control the symptoms, suppressing them, making her able to function properly. They don't really have an effect on the hole, since we managed to keep it in a temporari__ly__ dormant state, but that's not a reason to miss a pill or two. Yeah, sure you can miss a day or two, heck even a week. The max would be two weeks, where all of the medication is finally out of her system. But once it's flushed out of her body, then that's it. You know her symptoms are potentially fatal. It's your duty to make sure she follows her routine!"_

"_Wait, are you saying she hasn't been taking her medication for more than 2 weeks?" Lacus was the only one who had the strength to ask. The rest __were__ too frozen to utter a single word._

"_Yes. A month to be exact. Or more. If it was just more than 2 weeks, it wouldn't be this bad. You should know, she coded on us. If you were a minute late in finding her, she would be dead by now."_

_The word 'dead' began ringing loudly inside his ears. Inside his mind, he began recounting the days of his absence, backtracking for any possible reason as to why she could have missed her medication._

_His heart missed a bit when he realized what happened between them a month ago._

_It was the day she said they should break up._

* * *

_**Why?**_

"I heard that you'll be leaving for ORB by the end of the month? What's up with the sudden change of plans? Do you really want to go back to ORB?" Heine discreetly eyed his friend as he poured more grape juice into her glass.

"Well, I realized that he's OK now. That now that he has that Stellar girl with him, he wont be lonely anymore." She knew he was watching her. But she didn't care. The luscious blueberry muffin demands her attention more.

"Now, now, isn't that a really cheesy and shallow line? I mean, I've known you since high school. You were the type who never gives up even if it means risking a limb or two."

"Say what you want. " Another bite and the blueberry muffin was completely wiped out from existence. Heine smiled at his friend's appetite. She sure looks fine now.

"Have you told him about it?" he went back to the fridge and took out two more boxes of blueberry muffins.

"Who?" She took one of the boxes and smiled impishly as she hid it under her chair, mumbling a 'to go', that made Heine chuckle.

"Athrun."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. He's your employer."

"I'll tell him on the day I'll be leaving. That way he won't be making any fuss." She took another muffin and delivered a fatal bite to the poor muffin.

"That's really cruel. But...Are you satisfied now? I mean...are you happy?"

With a mouthful of crumbs, she cheerfully smiled and said yes. "Just who do you think you're talking to?"

"Cagalli the brat princess of ORB."

"Hell yeah!" She smiled again, as she gulped down her juice. "But..."

"Huh? You want another muffin?"

"But...every time I see him with Stellar, I could feel my insides being twisted." She bowed her head down, as her voice began to break down. Drops of water begin to trail down her cheeks, onto her pant legs. Her hands were visible shaking, so much that Heine had to take the glass from her hand, as a precaution.

" Every time I see Stellar, I see my face, I couldn't stop seeing myself holding his hand instead of her. I feel I'm about to burst every time they kiss. I can feel it eating me up. I shouldn't be hurting. I should be happy for him right? He's happy now, he found someone who could love him better than I could. So I shouldn't be hurting...right?"

He patted her head. "I should be happy now that you're finally going back to ORB. I know that ORB is much safer for you and that you'll be taken care there. But seeing you like this all fucked up over that guy makes me doubt that decision. So again, I'll ask you. Do you really want to go back to ORB?"

She didn't reply. Instead, she stood up, grabbed her muffin box and headed for the door.

Only to be stopped by Heine grabbing her hand, pulling her into a tight embrace. An embrace full of honest and unrequited feelings. She could hear his heart pounding, beating loudly with his chest, the soft caresses of his breath, the warmth of his steely arms. They all seemed familiar to her. But it wasn't the same. It wasn't _him_. And deep inside her heart, she knew Heine can never be _him_...

"I'm not expecting a reply now. I know it's hard to think about these kinds of things. But just so you know, he isn't the one who deserves to be happy. And he's not the only one who is capable of making you happy. I am here too, you know. I've always been. Patiently waiting for you, even though I know I would never have that kind of place in your heart. But just so you know, I'll continue to support you, even if it means lying to Kira and the others. Even if it means breaking my own heart too."

* * *

Ever since his wife learned about the news of his sister's return, she has been frequenting the old apartment more than she used to. She even canceled her maternity check-up yesterday just so she could go to the apartment. She always says that she's cleaning and preparing the apartment for Cagalli but he knew better. The apartment was left in a tiptop shape, and every Saturday he has someone come up and clean it. He even bought the entire apartment block just so nobody would come and try to buy that block. He kept the power, water and telephone lines on, just in case his sister pops out of nowhere. So there's really no reason for his wife to visit there.

No reason at all.

_My words of farewell won't meet you  
Our futures slowly move further apart  
You light illuminated me  
My dreams search for a destination in the corners of my heart_

"Arent you suppose to be in the Clinic for your maternity check-up?" he knew he'd find her here. He called the clinic to check up on her, but they said she never showed up. It didn't really worry him, because he knew where to find her. And he was right. In the Athha-Zala apartment.

"What are you doing here? I'm quite sure you're not cleaning." He surveyed the entire lot. Clearly his wife has been doing some rummaging around. But what the heck is she looking for?

"Aren't you at least going to explain yourself?" He walked towards his wife, who was sitting on the floor, reading something. As he drew closer, he realized she was crying. With out thinking about his action, he grabbed her arm and pulled her up. A box and a sheet of paper fell from his wife's hands, and he immediately knew the reason for her tears.

_Love for a day under the brilliant sun  
And in the quiet, painful night  
I can't hide the scars in my heart so I set them free  
Love Today, my answer is forever in this scenery we saw  
Love Today, Learn to love today_

It was the old bronze music box his sister greatly treasured above anything else. He picked it up along with the sheet of paper. Winding the box, he quickly scanned the paper, and instantly he felt the knot wrap around his chest. He couldn't bear to finish reading what was written on it, and quickly embraced his wife.

"Do you remember, after Athrun left Orb, she got hospitalized? She was really sick, but she always kept that smile on her face. I could tell she was in pain, but she didn't ask for any pain meds. Instead, she wanted to have the music box winded up. And every time she hears the melody, she would fall asleep as if it was a lullaby to her."

_  
On a moonless, windy night,  
Unable to sleep, I embrace the dream of a sweet reality  
There are no certainties  
That cannot be caught by outstretched hands._

"And one time, when she was in so much unbearable pain, she asked me to keep the melody playing. She said if she was going to die, she wanted to die listening to the music box' melody. It really shocked me. I couldn't wind the music box because of that. So she asked the nurses to wind it for her. I got so frustrated with the music box, thinking that it's stealing her will to live, I hid it. The same night she found her music box was missing, she coded. The sound of the flat line beeping scared me. So I took out the music box and began praying that she'll be ok. That she won't die. She can't die..."

_Love for a day under the brilliant sun  
And in the quiet, painful night  
I can't hide the scars in my heart so I set them free  
Love Today, my answer is forever in this scenery we saw  
With nothing but a single word that has shone until today_

"Ever since then I promised I'll do whatever it takes to bring them back together. I was really happy when she told me that she'll be working with him as his assistant, that's why I supported her all the way through. But now that she's coming back, I feel like I failed her... I didn't fail her...right?"

He has no words of comfort to tell his wife. He too feels the guilt of forsaking his sister. If he only wasn't such a rebel back then, then Cagalli wouldn't have inherited the succession to the Athha name. If only he wasn't so selfish. He took advantaged of his sister's naiveté and her innocence, passing unto her already feeble hands the pressure of their lineage. If only he wasn't too scared to face his duty as the son of the most powerful man in ORB. If only...

If only he could turn back time...

* * *

Half of the entire crew had been on the edge ever since the taping of scene 46, also known as the 'Confession'. It was when Asuran's friend Arka pretends to be Asuran and publicly confesses to the entire school that he likes Akari. From then on, the crew had been on the edge, anticipating each conversation that occurs between Asuran and Akari. Some of the crew members have been swooning over the 'cute' tandem, wishing that the same thing, even by some sort of silver screen miracle, such sweet and innocent love would occur to them. Unbeknown to them, one such love did occur in real life. And both of the main players were in their presence, acting an entirely different role.

"Wah. I wish someone would confess to me like that! I must say, Mr. Westenfluss is such a genius! To come up with such a cute love heart warming story!" One of the extras Asagi exclaimed. Asagi was one of the new recruits from the Aprilius Talent center to fill in for the role of the students in the film.

"What do you think Ms. Cagalli? Isn't this movie the best? I mean, I know it has a tragic ending, but the story is just so cute! This will definitely top the charts!"

Cagalli smiled. "Yes. I'm sure it will."

"I'm going to watch it as soon as it gets out. Do you wanna come with me?"

"I don't know. If I'm still alive around that time." Another smile masked the building pain inside her.

"Of course you are! What kind of joke is that? It's so off!"

"Is it? Hahahah. Maybe it's because I'm getting rusty?"

"Naah. You're too young to get rusty, Ms. Cagalli! Ah by the way, have you seen the fake blood I left in the RVs? I'm really sure I left it there, but for some reasons, I can't find it."

A brief flash of last week's incident came in to her mind, followed by a brewing pain inside her chest. "I'm sorry. I accidentally broke the bottle and spilled the blood. I'm sorry."

"Oh, gosh. It's OK. We got some spare in the van. But did you get hurt? That bottle's one heck of a glass . I don't wanna get cut by that."

"Yeah. I'm cool. Say, Can you fill in for me for a while? I haven't had breakfast or lunch, and I'm getting dizzy. So if it's ok with you--" She wasn't lying. She hasn't eaten a thing since morning. And she is feeling a little bit light headed. Only it wasn't brought about by the lack of food. She knows this familiar daze all too well.

"Sure. Anytime. Give me a holler when you're done. "

"Thanks."

As fast as her wobbling feet could take her, she went straight to the nearest RV she could find. Locking the door behind her, she rushed to the bathroom, and began throwing up whatever her stomach could belt out. With trembling hands, she braced herself for each wave of vomit that came. Cold beads of sweat begin to line her forehead as color drained from her face. Minutes ticking like hours, she held her composure every time her body regurgitated. Finally, the seemingly endless series of retching subsided with a cough. A trail of crimson traced her lips as she watched the former contents of her stomach flush down the drain, along with spots of crimson adorning their color.

"So this is it?" Sarcasm as sharp as the glass that cut her that night pierced through the acrid taste on her tongue. Splashing handfuls of water on her face, she watched as the water made mocking trails of tears around her eyes. As she was reaching for a sheet of paper towel to dry her face, a familiar surge of pain in her chest caused her to collapse, along with well-known inability to breath. Curled in a fetal position, huddled against the cold tiled wall, clutching her chest tightly, as if it could somehow lessen the pain raking her body. Gasping for what seems to be scant amount of air, she struggled to keep her eyes open. She can't possibly lose consciousness here.

What if somebody finds her?

What if she doesn't open her eyes anymore?

She's not afraid of dying anymore. It's just that she doesn't want to die here, yet. Not right now.

She doesn't want to cause a scene.

So please. She mustn't lose consciousness. She can't.

Please?

Tears began to line her eyes, as her vision slowly blurred, with only the ragged rhythm of her breathing echoing within the corners of the bathroom.

* * *

"Mr. Zala, somebody is looking for you." Pulling away from his 'beloved' reluctantly, he turned to face his visitor.

"Meer?" His jaw literally dropped as the vivacious and coquettish former girlfriend greeted him casually with her usual wink. "How's the great Athrun Zala?"

"As you can see, I'm currently in the middle of work." He can't remember things from their past, but something tells him it wasn't pleasant. And it's telling him to distance from her.

"Aww. That's not nice. Is that how you treat your ex? I mean seriously? I'm surprised _she'_s able to keep this facade up." Meer purposely lowered her voice with her last sentence. She wanted to test if he'll be reacting to what she said.

"What did you say?" An impish smile touched Meer's lips. "Curious?" With her usual array of nipple sparing clothes, and pants akin to leotards, she casually approached him.

"Hell no. Just tell me what you want."

"My, My. Little hasty there. What's the rush? It's not like your 'Amber Princess' is going anywhere."

"What Amber Princess are you talking about?"

"Oh my! You used to call her by that name. But I guess you've forgotten. Whatta pity!"

"I don't have time for this crap."

"Is it because you're dating that cute blond over there?"

"Stellar has nothing to do with this. If you're just going to fuck around, then I'm sorry, I have no time for you." The overwhelming irritation raging within his veins reminded him of why he broke up with her.

"Aren't you at least a bit curious about what really happened between us? Or whattabout this?" A faint nostalgic pain begins to brew inside his chest as his attention fell dazed at the red glimmer of the red amulet necklace dangling from Meer's hand.

"Now. Do I have your attention?"

* * *

A faint moaning woke her from her stupor. A splitting headache greeted her, as she struggled to sit up. With not much strength to stand, she decided to just sit for a while until her headache disappears. But the moaning just added to the pressure building inside her head. Ignoring her pain and vulnerability, mustering what's left of her strength, she stood up to investigate the source.

Using the sink and the door knob as leverage, she managed to get out of the bathroom. The moaning seems to be coming from the back window of the RV, opposite the bathroom. Again, she used whatever furniture is in reach to help her walk around, occasionally tripping along the way.

Finally, she was able to reach her destination. And what she saw made her heart skip a beat.

"Stellar..."

* * *

A/N: I apologize for the late upload. I accidentally deleted all the documents in my old computer while I was tranferring them to my new one. So I had to start all over again. I dont have the other copies for the other stories and chapters. Dont complain. I lost my projects and research papers too. Soemt of those are A papers you know. Anyways, this story is nearing it's end. And I'll have you people decide how it should end. I'll base Cagalli's survival on your reviews. I wont say how much will be the quotas. But I'm sure you have an idea.

RIght now, I'm working on 2 chapters. I'm almost done with the next 2 installments, they'll be up sooner than what you guys expect.


	13. With or Without You

**_Lots of luv to An instant King for patiently hearing my rants and proofreading my sloppy works. _**And to a dearest cousin that I will never see again, I dedicate this to you. I hope you can read it from where you are. Hopefully, the afterlife have computers...or internets for that matter...

**_Also, to feel teh emotions from this chapter and the following chapter, I suggest you listen to Utada Hikaru's Dareka no Negau ga Kanau. It's your loss if you dont. Because it basically tells one of the main character's feelings...I'll leave it in your minds to guess who._**

* * *

_**With or without you…**_

* * *

_When Meer Campbell heard the news about Cagalli's recent hospitalization, a devil suggested the idea of paying her a visit just to mock her even more about Athrun's recent departure. She still hasn't gotten over Athrun's near fatal accident even if it was over a year ago. She wanted to rub the guilt in her petite sorry face until she would fall down on her knees begging and crying. But her plans went down the drain when she saw the skinny frame of her former rival. _

_She found her sitting in her bed, surrounded by monitors and IV poles with IV tubes dangling eerily. The rhythmic beeping of the monitors that surrounded her and the blinding white that surrounded her reminded Meer of the movie she saw about a little girl who died of cancer. With a sudden pang of fear brewing inside her chest, she began to regret listening to the demon inside her head. If it weren't for the ego and pride churning inside her, she wouldn't have taken the step inside. Or greet her with that mocking smirk she is known for._

"_Hah. You look like crap you know that?" She wanted to say something comforting, but she doesn't know how to lie. Well, at least to the person who stole the man she liked._

"_Ever so frank as always. Thanks for visiting me. I never thought I would see you here, actually."_

"_I'm unpredictable like that. So what's the deal with the fucked up look? I heard ever since he left, you've been heading downwards. Are you digging you own grave or something?"_

"_Ahehehe. I think that's what you call depression. And no, I'm not digging my grave, because it had already been dug years ago." If it wasn't for that suspicious smile of hers, she would have taken it seriously. But now that she thought about it, one of the reasons why this girl always had that annoying special attention was because of her ailment. Something about her heart having a hole. She could feel the heavy awkwardness filling the air she was breathing. She needs something to cheer this bone frame. Something she's will be interested with. Something she hasn't heard of yet..._

"_Meh. You do know I wasn't from a wealthy family right? Well, we were once really filthy rich, then suddenly everything went shit. My parents got so fucked up they committed suicide after they gave me away to my aunt. Turns out I have a splitting look alike named Lacus. My mother never talked about her sister nor did she mention about having a twin, so I was really surprised when I met Lacus. My new family was really nice. That's why it was annoying. If they were this nice, why did they allow my parent sink down like that? Why didn't they help my parents? I never had the answer to that. I ran away. I learned how to stand up by my own feet. Or so I though. Turns out her father was pulling strings behind my employers. No wonder I got hired and promoted that easily. I began to hate people like that. I learned to hate people who like to give special attention. And most of all, people who gets special attention."_

"_Like me?"_

"_Yeah, like you. But after I realized what you were trying to do, trying to earn your own place in the society by your own hands. I was starting to see myself in you. That's why I decided to give Athrun up. "_

"_I'm happy to hear that from you."_

"_You should be!"_

"_Ah Meer. Can I ask you a favor?"_

"_What is it? As long as it's not about money, and doesn't involve Athrun."_

"_I feel like the sands of my time are slipping through my fingers. I know I'm the person you hated the most, but I'd like to ask you this once in a lifetime favor." She had the most melancholic smile Meer had ever seen. A beautiful yet sorrowful picture of life fading away. A mirror of a spirit slowly breaking away. She finally realized what caught Athrun's heart. That purest smile…_

"_I've decided not to take the surgery. Even if it means it could save my life. I won't take it. I feel like it's my way of atoning, atoning for my sins towards him and all the people I've hurt because of my selfishness. I made him suffer so much, I even took away his dreams. I cannot live with that fact. It makes my heart quiver every time I think about it. And so whenever I think about the possibility of the surgery being successful, I feel like I'm hurting him again. That I'm being unfair to him again. So Meer, when the time comes, can you carry out my will? When I can no longer breath on my own...can you be the one to stay by my side?"_

* * *

He found himself sitting in the middle of a green house that seems to come out of a romance novel. The entire place was full of dazzling colors of pastel. The stained glass that adorned the ceiling added life on the already breath taking landscape. The melody of the birds chirping and the chorus of the stone fountain were like choirs to this serene haven. As he was about to wonder what was he doing in such a fancy place, when he heard faint footsteps coming towards him. He looked up, and saw a blonde smiling back at him…

"Hmm? So do you remember anything?" Meer's voice brought him back to reality, back to the shallow shade of the awning. He smiled grimly; frustrated at the headache he's been enduring since he first laid eyes on the necklace. He invited Meer to have a quick chat before his taping starts behind the film set.

"Aren't you supposed to help me remember?" There was a part of him overflowing with guilt and doubt after having that weird flashback. And he can't explain why it's preventing him from telling Meer about the vision he just had. A frustration that's eating him slowly inside.

"I want you to suffer a little bit. Hahahaha. Just kidding. I can't tell you everything if you can't remember some bits by yourself. Otherwise it'll just be in vain. You might just dismiss them as crap, as you normally do."

"But what if I don't remember them by myself?"

"Then you'll be losing the most important thing you ever had in the world."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Hmm? What do you think?"

"Is it an object? A person?"

Meer smiled impishly. "DO you think an object can wear a necklace?"

"So it's a girl then?"

"Yup. And boy, you should start giving your brain cells a work out, time's running out."

"What do you mean by that?"

Meer's face suddenly lost all its cheer. A silent pause gave him a chill up on his back, as he patiently waited for her answer.

"She's…" Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice. Athrun's interest dropped significantly as he stood up to greet the blonde.

"ATHRUN!!" Stellar's face was obvious flushed. Meer wanted to comment about it, but she decided to drop it.

"Ah, Stellar!" She could see the gentleness between the two. The same gentleness she saw years back.

"Muh! Athrun, what are you doing here? I've been looking for you!" And it feels so wrong in her eyes. This girl isn't worthy of this man's love. She couldn't help but whisper the words that were cut.

"Has spent the last remaining years of her life atoning for you, waiting for you to remember…and now…"

"Did you say something Meer?" Athrun turned towards her. She nodded no, and excused herself. But before leaving, she took Athrun's hand and pressed the red pendant hard against his palm.

"I hope you'll remember… Bye."

* * *

"Meer. What the fuck are you doing here?" Her hotel door suddenly flung open, revealing a breathless Heine. Not waiting for her response, he grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stand up from her chair, toppling the tea cups on her table. The sound of porcelain breaking seems nulled to their ears.

"What ever happened to the 'I will support her all the way' bullshit?" There was an overwhelming urge inside Heine to slap Meer to oblivion. He wanted to wipe that smirk off her face so badly...

"Aren't you gonna slap me?"

"I won't waste my energy on you." Loosening his grip on her, he watched her take a seat on the same chair he just pulled her from nonchalantly.

"I'm here for a promise. Although it's not exactly the same promise I'm supposed to keep, but its close. Besides, I won't let a whore take away my Athrun. I've already accepted the fact that I can never win against a 'royalty' but to lose him to a social climber is just too much. So, I've decided to join in."

"You don't know what you're doing Meer. Leave. You don't need to get involve with this mess. It's already complicated as it is."

An impish smirk formed on Meer's lips. "Lacus told me you were supposed to send the diaries to Athrun. How come they're still in ORB then? Why haven't you made any effort to bring those two together? In fact the way I see it, you're getting better in making those two drift further apart. Is this revenge? Are you trying to get her back?"

"This is bullshit Meer. What makes you think I'm pushing them apart?"

"For one, it wasn't supposed to be Stellar playing the part of Akari. You know how big the similarities are between her and Stellar, that's why you chose Stellar. It was supposed to be Shiho, yet you changed the plans. You wanted Athrun to fall for the bait. For him to fall for Stellar instead of her, Cagalli. And you knew about Stellar and Shinn's relationship, yet you still encouraged Athrun's advances on her!"

"This is bullshit. You don't even have a clue what's going on!"

"Oh believe me, I do. I know more than you think I do. Better than what you think. "

* * *

"Athrun, I have something to tell you." She mustered all her remaining courage to pull him all the way here. As much as possible, she had been really trying to distance herself from him, preparing herself for the final farewell. Just when she thought everything was going smoothly.

"What do you want?"He's been in a giddy state ever since he had that talk with Meer. After receiving the necklace, he immediately had a staff member put it on for him, after Stellar refused to do so. She had been complaining about the presence of the pendant, how irritating it was and things like that. But he wasn't in the mood for pleasing her. He feels more committed to this necklace, as he feels more at peace than all the times he spends with Stellar.

"It's about Stellar." She felt the knot in her chest tighten. The heavy pounding of her heart has started to drum at her temples.

"What about Stellar?" His eyebrow twitched at the topic. He never expected her to talk about Stellar. Of all people.

"Uhm. Well. First of all, I want you to know that I'm not doing this out of any malice. I actually support your relationship with her!"

"Just cut to the chase."

"She's...she's cheating behind your back. I saw her. Yesterday. Making out with some guy in the back of RV # 3. I saw it with my own eyes." She kept her head bowed down all this time. She couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. Afraid that her emotions would just come out pouring, adding confusion to the brewing mess.

"Is that all?" His voice seems so calm and relaxed. All this time, he kept his gaze at the setting sun, bidding its farewell to the horizon. She couldn't say if he really is looking at the horizon or what because of his sunglasses. Nevertheless, it is better for her to keep her eyes averted.

"Yes." Some thing's not right, she thought. How can he stay so calm?

He turned to face her, removing his sunglasses. He had this calm look on his face, as if what she just said about his girlfriend was some baseless gossip. A rumor.. "Then you just wasted my precious time. Next time don't make unnecessary bullshit. If you want my attention, just say it out loud. Dont go ruining other people's names. Especially Stellar's."

"You don't believe me...do you?" Her fists balled into tight grips. So this is your answer?

"Of course not. What proof can you give me? Stellar's not the type who'll cheat on me. She's just too cute for that. Not like you."

"What do you mean by that?" If her heart could beat any louder, this is it. Every beat her heart makes echoes loudly inside her head. The knot inside her already tightened chest has found it's way to her stomach, whirling and twisting everything inside into a tight loop. Her legs suddenly felt wobbly and weak from the harsh words she's receiving from him.

"I've seen you. With Heine. Seriously, I was taken aback by your boldness. So I wasn't enough? What, did you dump Rey too? You want someone with more prestige? Is that it?"

"It's not like that!"The pooling tears in her eyes were getting hard to suppress.

"Then what? Ever since you arrived, everything started to go awry. I didn't want to doubt you, since you're Kira's sister, but I have my limits."

"No. You don't understand..." Maintaining the firm tone of her voice was getting too difficult. Why must it be like this?

"This conversation is over. I don't want to hear anything from you. Now if you'll excuse me." She watched his back disappear from her sight, as she broke into small sobs. Her knees finally crashed down, along with her broken heart. The shard of pain embedded inside her chest has just gotten deeper, shattering whatever self composure she had.

"How does it feel to be ignored just like that, by the very same guy who promised you the world?" It was Meer, standing behind the wall. "Can you still stand up?"

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to hear everything." Stepping out of her hiding place, she approached the slumped form of her former rival. Cagalli lifted her gaze and shared her melancholic smile. When Meer laid eyes on her form, she quickly dashed towards her, cradling her weakened form.

"Tell me! How long have you been like this? Your medicine? Where is it?" She pulled out her handkerchief from her purse and began wiping blood from around her lips and neck. "You fool! Wasting your life on someone as dick faced as he is! There are so many men ready to jump off a building for you! Why are you so obsessed with someone as ass faced as him? Your medication?"

"Because he is who he is. And...I don't have anymore pills left."

"What?! Since when?"

"I dunno. A week or so?"

"YOU STUPID BITCH! How can you neglect your health like that! That's it, I'm going to take you to a hospital. Fuck Athrun. Let him stay with his screwed up Psycho Bitch. I' m not going to let you die on me. Not just yet."

"Meer, I've decided… I'm going to make sure he finds the truth behind that girl. Even if it means him hating me…" Her body hung limply against Meer's frame, as she pulls her up.

"And I've decided too. I'm not going to let you die, you sick masochist! I'm going to fight for you! You're wasting the time I've fought desperately for. I won't let you give up the fight. So Cagalli, keep your spirits up?"

A feigned smile returned a false answer. Meer knew her resolve. But she won't give up on her.

"I'll take you to a hospital right now."

"No, that won't do me any good. Just take me back to my RV."

"Are you fuckin' crazy?"

"It'll attract attention if people sees me like this."

"I'd rather have that, than you dying miserably in a firkin' RV"

"Relax, I wont die. I know these symptoms"

"Why should I take crap from a suicidal chick like you?"

"Ahahah. Just take me back to the RV."

"Fuck that, I'll take you to my hotel. "

"Hmm…Ok."

* * *

"Tell me, Meer! She's fine now right? Right?" A frantic Lacus has been raving about the same question. She lost count how many times she had answered the same question in the past 5 minutes.

"Lacus, you don't want me to hang up on you, right?"

"Ah, I'm sorry. I'm just really worried."

"I know, but there's no need to blow my eardrums with the same question. Anyways, I had a doctor come over to look her up. He gave her some medication and she's resting now."

"But, what did the doctor said?"

"He wasn't sure since he didn't have the right stuff to check her up. But…"

"But?"

"It's not looking good for her. She needs to have that frikin surgery."

"I…know…" Lacus' tone slowly broke down into little sobs.

"Hey, don't you dare bawl on me! Where's your husband?"

"He's not home yet. But I already had someone to inform him."

"I've booked us a flight tonight. Can you fix things on your side there?"

"Uh-huh, I'm e-mailing Ms. Erica about it right now. I'm hoping the doctors are available by the time you guys get here. Is it raining there right now?"

"Whoa. Now wasn't that out of line?"

"Ah, It's just that I remembered the day of the accident. It was raining."

"So rain has bad ties to her huh?

"Sorta. There! I'm now just waiting for her reply."

"Well, then. I have to go now. I need to check up on my patient."

"Ok. Thanks Meer. For everything."

"Don't mention it, cuz. Bye." There was a happy rabbit jumping inside her heart as she clicked off. For the first time, she felt so much at ease talking to her cousin. Free of any hate or doubt.

Just full of happiness.

She went to the kitchen to prepare some quick snack for her patient. A slice of pizza and orange juice was all she could find. But heck, like she cares. As long as she has something to eat that's good.

Only, the patient wasn't there.

Somewhere under the crying night sky…

"Stellar! I'm begging you! Please, break up with your lover! I don't want Athrun getting hurt!" The medication she received from the doctor gave her some strength to venture back to the Shoot. Enough strength and courage to confront her…

**A/N**: Yay! It's here!! And so is the next chapter. But...It wont be up until I get** AT LEAST** 15 reviews. Actually, I got until the 2nd next chapter. XDDD. This is what I've been doing for the last few days. XDDDD. Anyways, again, Thanks to _An Instant king_ for the beta reading. And thanks a bunchies to all of my constant reviewers. You made me feel so loved everytime I see your reviews in the review section.

So! Onto the next


	14. Final Distance

_**Final Distance**_

* * *

The rumbling sky woke him from his brief nap. He checked his wrist watch for the time. Seven PM. So he got two hours of sleep then? But how come he still feels so drained? He stood up to wash his face in the bathroom. As he was rinsing his face, he caught a quick glimpse of the pendant he earlier received from Meer. As he began to play with the pendant, his dream from his brief nap came playing back in his mind.

He was sitting in a booth with flimsy curtains acting as a divider. There was someone sitting on the other side, and he could tell it was a girl. He tried to pull away the curtain to see who was on the other side, but a hand stopped him. It was a feminine hand, and on its ring finger was a ring that looks awfully familiar to him. He remembered asking, 'Who are you?' The person responded by caressing his cheeks gently, that gave his heart a sudden jerk. He asked again 'Why aren't you showing your face to me?' This time, the hand went still. Thinking he made the person angry, he started raking his mind for some sort of apology, when suddenly, the curtain were pulled away.

Long blonde locks and a pair of gentle amber eyes.

It was the same woman who had been haunting him in his dreams. He scooted closer to her, the closest distance he has ever been to her in his dreams, and carefully touched her face. 'Why are you doing this to me?' he could feel the knot inside his chest tighten, as tears began to overflow endlessly. He was so ashamed at his current loss of composure; he bowed down his head on her shoulder, seeking a familiar refuge. The woman patted his head gently, as if she was comforting him. He was so much at peace, yet the overwhelming pain inside of his chest was gnawing at his mind and heart for some unknown reasons. Unable to bear the pain anymore, he threw his arms around her, embracing her as tight as he could, in the hopes that his every fiber could send out his message to her. The woman returned his embrace, and with that he earned his answer. Tilting his head towards hers –he found out that he's taller that her—he gently kissed her lips. He prayed to the heavens to let this moment last forever. That if it was a dream, let him stay dreaming forever. But it was indeed a dream. The woman pushed him back, breaking off the kiss, to reveal a horrifying truth. From the chest down, the woman's body was disappearing. In a desperate attempt to prevent her from dissipating, he embraced her one more time, this time, tighter. But his hands passed through, and the translucent image of her fading smile was the last thing he saw. When he woke up, his eyes were brimming with tears, and the tight knot in his chest twisting his heart strings.

He took a deep sigh. There was another twist to that dream he had and it gave him a cold chill. The first name he called out as soon as he woke up from that dream was…

Cagalli…

* * *

Somewhere under the same crying night sky…

"Stellar! I'm begging you! Please, break up with your lover! I don't want Athrun getting hurt!" The medication she received from the doctor gave her some strength to venture back to the Shoot. Enough strength and courage to confront her…

"Who are you to order me around Like that? You're just his assistant! Or could it be…"

"It doesn't matter! If you're not going to break up with your lover, then just leave Athrun." But even with the borrowed strength she has, the cold tears of the sky begun to claim its toll on her weak frame.

"I'm begging you… please? Athrun, he doesn't deserve to get hurt anymore…he's been to so much pain already…please…."

"Augh! I don't have time to spare for you! It's raining and it's ruining my make up!" Stellar turns to leave her, but Cagalli grabs her hand, halting her escape.

"I'm begging you…" Angered by her action, Stellar pulls away her hand, and grabs Cagalli's hair, twisting it tightly. Watching the grimace on her face form, a glint of malice formed in Stellar's eyes. Before she could even recoil from the pain in her scalps, a heavy, hard slap rammed her cheek.

"Listen you bitch. Who are you to order me what to do? I can fuck anyone I want, and you can't do no shit about it! If I wanna shit on your faggot of a boss, I will! So don't you dare order me!" Stellar lets go of her, then pushes her down the ground, hard with her foot.

"You can hurt me as much as you want. Just, spare Athrun…" She tasted blood and mud inside her mouth. The knot feeling inside her has once again returned along with the nauseating sensation brimming inside her stomach. But that wasn't enough to stop her from begging. Crawling against the mud and the cold rain, she latches on Stellar's foot.

"You filth! Stay away from me!!" Stellar kicks her hand off, and starting stomping on her hands hard.

"ARE YOU STUPID? DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND A FUCK I JUST SAID?" She wasn't contented with just the stomping. She began to kick her all over her body, head, chest, stomach, everywhere she could land her foot on.

"YOU FILTH! YOU DESPICABLE WHORE!" Her voice was so loud that it has drowned the screams of the night rain; enough to be heard by the staff and the last person Cagalli want to meet in this moment…Athrun.

"What happened here? Stellar! stop!" Other staff member came to Cagalli's rescue, picking her up from the ground and wrapping her in dry towels. Others tried to pull the raging Stellar away from her, trying to calm her down.

"What is this all about?" His confused expression was the same as everyone else. How can the innocent Stellar break all her fury on his very own assistant?

"That woman! She was calling me names! She was blackmailing me! She wanted me to break up with you because she wanted you for herself!" Stellar erupted into tears, and as expected, Athrun took her into his arms, calming her down.

"It's ok. Don't worry about it." Was all he could say. Remembering what Cagalli told him earlier made side with Stellar. Even though there was doubt brimming inside him.

"IS that true, Cagalli?" Was all he could say to her. He couldn't bring himself to look at her pitiful form, all drench in mud and rain…and…

She didn't reply. "See? I'm telling the truth! Athrun, let's go, I'm cold!" He took a deep breath and smiled, allowing himself to be pulled away from _her. _Little did he know, it might be his last time laying his eyes on _her_…

"Yeah, you do that Athrun. Stellar needs her rest. We'll take care of Cagallli."

"Alrighty then." Without looking back, he took another wave of distance has spanned in between them once more. Only this time, they may never hear each other's voice anymore.

As Stellar coiled her arm around his, whining about how badly hurt her feelings were by Cagalli's outburst, his mind was drifting away.

'_Are you happy? Can you smile by yourself now?'_

A soft voice caught his attention. It was really soft, that he had to strain his ears to hear it properly, yet it was loud and clear enough to drown Stellar's ranting. He turned his head around, looking for the owner of the voice, but found no one. It was just him and Stellar.

'_Will you promise to keep that smile always'_ And there was it again. That soft voice. He turend and asked Stellar if she heard the voice, but she just pouted and started complaining that he wasn't listening. Thinking it was just his imagination, when he caught a glimpse of a figure on the corner of his eye. And as if time stopped for that moment, everything around him halted. Stellar was frozen, with her mouth hanging open, and the rain drops outside were left suspended in the air. It was just him and that figure.

It was a figure of a blonde haired lady, dressed in a white chiffon dress. The very same blonde lady in his dreams. He can never forget that beautiful long locks of gold. And even though her face was blurry, he could tell she was smiling.

'_Please treasure that smile of yours.'_ He heard her say in the gentlest voice, as she waved goodbye. And for a split second, he thought he saw something glinting in one of her fingers.

Was it a ring?

As he was about to say something, time suddenly began turning, and Stellar's whining filled the empty corners of the corridors. When he turned back to the figure, she was gone.

* * *

"Hey, Cagalli, are you ok?"

"Hey?"

"Hey! Somebody call an ambulance!"

"I need something to stop the bleeding! Fuck, I don't get it, why the hell she's bleeding so much!!" One of the staff members carried her inside the lobby, while another tried drying her off, wiping blood and mud off her limp body. Patches of dark bruises colored her skin, along with dried specks of blood. They found gashes and cuts all over her body, which puzzled them. How can such simple cuts bleed so much?

"Did Stellar use something sharp?"

"I don't know."

"Dude, is she even breathing?"

"Damn, I don't know how to check!!"

"I'll do it!!"

"Well?"

"Goddamned it! Did someone call an ambulance already?"

"Yeah! It's on its way. Why?"

"Her pulse…it feels so weak…I think she got it bad!"

* * *

Meer was already speeding her way to the filming site. There are no other places she could think of that that brat could have run off to. She's absolutely positive that she's there. Hopefully she doesn't go off pulling some crazy stunt, or else. She cannot bear such tragedy, may it be emotional or worse, to happen under her watch. But when she saw an ambulance piercing through the traffic, in the same direction she was heading to, instead of slowing down and give it a right of way, she pressed her gas pedal down to the floor, throwing all the shit and care off the window.

She arrived few seconds earlier than the fuming ambulance. It was blaring its horns at her the whole time, and she knew she could end up in a really big shit for that. But like she cares. She'll just ask her fiancé, Dullindal to fix that mess for her.

She didn't have to stop to ask about Cagalli's whereabouts. A crowd of panicking men told her that Cagalli's the center fold of attention. And in her mind, crowd and Cagalli don't mix very well.

For it can only mean one thing. And it's not pretty.

"Lemme through! "Her jiggling chest was enough to temporarily faze the men, and pave a path for her. And she was right. A limp form, surrounded by reddish towels and mud greeted her.

"Cagalli!!" She literally dove towards her unconscious friend, thus a brief fanservice for the men around her. With all her might, she lifted her up, and asked one of them men to drape a towel over her. Then she sprinted off under the crying night, to the ambulance, where again, her chest drew the attention of the slacking crew.

"She's needs a shot of Vitamin K! Do you have one? She's in an anti coagulant therapy so she's bleeding like fuck! You! What the fuck are you staring at? My boobs? Goddamn it, this girl's dying!! Make an IV access, quick! And you! Give me that oxygen!!"

The ambulance driver was stunned by Meer's presence. And part of it was her ever so distracting boobs. To save whatever decency his men had left, he closed the door of the ambulance and sped off.

* * *

When Kira received the news about his sister, he immediately adjourned the important meeting he was in. He humbly apologized, as indeed his action was uncalled for. When one of the councilmen asked for the reason, he just said one word. And it was enough to receive support from all the politicians in that room: Cagalli.

His wife was already outside the Conference building, waiting for him. From that he knew it was getting severe.

"Kira…I…" Inside the car, Lacus kept her head down. Her tone seems so gravely sad; a tone Kira can never have the guts to handle.

"Yes, We're going to Aprilius. I've talked to Kisaka. He said he can get a helicopter ready in ten minutes."

"That's not it…" Her voice was breaking into small sobs. Her tiny hands balled into fists.

"Then what?"

"I've contacted Erica…to prep up the surgery…needed for Cagalli…sniffsniff…"

"So?"

"She called me again…and said,…"

"Said what?"

"Cagalli…she….she…signed a power of attorney stating she will not undergo any surgery that has… the possibility of…of….of… saving or extending her life except for a heart transplant."

"What the fuck did you say?"

"SHE CAN'T HAVE THE SURGERY!"

* * *

**_A/N: alrighty! I know! I know! I broke a promise! But I gots a good reason behind it! There was a missing scene in the last chapter. I accidentally uploaded the origianl one, instead of the edited one, thus the missing scene. That scene is vital for the proceeding chapters, so I decided to just add it on this chapter. Good thing it managed to fit in._**

**_So yeah... ah_**

**_terms: Vitamin K is teh antidote for teh anticoagulant thingy. That's why peeps who are under this treatment are cautioned about eating green leafy veggies and such because of their vitamin K content. _**

**_The lawyer crap. In Some countries, they have this program in which in the even a person is too ill or is unable to make his/her own decision about his/her status, he/she could write a will of sorts that carries what ever the ill patient wants to do with his/her body, in the event her/his health is in grave danger. Does that make sense? I'm makig a paper right now, so my brain is scattered. But yeah, this will is binding so people cant go against it._**

**_anymore questions, just ask. I'll be happy to answer!_**


	15. Blue Ether

_**Song for this Chapter is 'Blue Ether' or Ao no Ether, by Megumi Nakajima. To listen or to not listen is the question. - wasnt that a lame joke?**_

* * *

_**Blue Ether**_

_He had that dream again. Only this time it was different. Instead of the flimsy curtain that separated him and the blonde girl, it was a glass divider that grew thicker and dimmer with each passing moment. It was clear and thin when he first noticed its presence. The blonde girl was still sitting on the other side of the glass, with her blond locks hiding her face. Trying to get her attention, he began knocking on the glass. With each knock he made, he noticed the glass began to grow thicker and dimmer. There was a tinge of panic creeping under his skin that told him if he doesn't pound harder, then chances are he won't be seeing her again. It took her quite a while to notice his efforts, and by that time, the glass has gotten well past twelve inches thick and the clarity was well blurred. He could only see the profile of her hands touching the glass, her blonde hair crowning her head, and for the first time, he felt a sweet yet painful nostalgia as he peered into her amber eyes._

"_I want to see you! Tell me how I can see you!" He began pounding even harder on the glass. He was screaming his lungs out, asking for her name, that he wanted to see her, that there was an overbearing pain growing inside his chest every time he sees her like this. Tears had stained his cheeks, as the burden in his chest grew heavier with each passing second._

"_Why do we have to meet like this? Why can't you just tell me your name and show me your face? Why do you keep on disappearing whenever I try to get close to you?" His pounding has taken its toll on both his fists and the glass. The barrier between them had gone twice as thick as it was before, and has turned opaque. His fists were all numb and swollen with cuts and bruises from the pounding. But it doesn't amount to the pain inside his chest._

"_Why? How long must I endure this pain? Why…why do you keep on doing this to me?" It was like his whole world has crumbled into darkness and bitter cold silence. And just when he was ready to give up…_

_A faint nostalgic voice came calling…_

'_All along I've been by your side, smiling and watching over you…' Inside his head, the voice begins to paint a memory of the face he's been wanting to see. Blonde hair, amber eyes…_

'_All this time, I've been wanting to touch you, wanting to stay by your side always…I was always calling out for you, but my voice can't seem to reach you. And now that you and I can't hear the music anymore, I am now banished from your side, away from you…' But before the image could be completed, the voice dissipated into thin air, and a loud crash filled the dense silence._

_It was the glass border that divided him and the girl._

_He quickly stood up to go over to the other side, to finally shed light on this mysterious face…_

_Only to find no one was there…_

* * *

When Kira and Lacus arrived in the hospital, Meer was waiting in the waiting lounge, looking all down and weary. The dark crimson stains on Meer's clothes added to the dread looming around the couple. Lacus panicked at the sight of blood on her cousin and immediately asked if she was hurt or anything. There was a look in Kira's eyes that says the blood wasn't Meer's. But of course, he wanted Meer to tell that to his wife. Not because he wanted to stop his wife from drawing more horrible conclusions. It was because he was scared of Meer confirming his hunch. And when Meer did confirm the fact that it wasn't hers, Lacus fainted on the spot.

It was around five AM when the doctors came down to meet with Kira. Meer had to take Lacus to her hotel room after the doctors checked her up. Stress and pregnant women don't mix well, so a good day's rest was the remedy the doctor gave. And as much as possible stay away from whatever stressful events, situations or whatever. Tough luck.

As for Kira, when he heard what the doctors had to say about Cagalli's condition, all color drained from his face. He suddenly felt an overwhelming headache and nausea. He always thought he would be ready physically and emotionally, when such circumstance should arrive, but maybe he was just beefing his sorry hide.

He was frozen solid as the doctors continued to explain his sister's case. The more they explained the heavier his body felt, and soon standing felt to be too much of a chore. It took him quite a while before he was able to fully digest the news the doctors just gave him. He wanted to take a breather before calling Erika, but time wasn't the luxury he could idle by.

No.

Scratch that.

Time was never on their side.

"Erika?" He knew his voice was trembling. In fact, his whole body was shaking, that he couldn't even hold his phone properly. Even though he hated using Bluetooth, he was forced to do so. Just for this case.

"So? How is she?" her voice seems so cold. Or was it just his mind running paranoid?

"The doctors suggested that we wait for at least 48 hours before transporting her there. She's in the ICU right now."

"Are you alright? How's Lacus?"

"I'm good. I'm just…just tired I guess. Haven't had sleep. Lacus is with her cousin, resting. Can't have her here with all the fumes and shit."

"I see. How about amnesiac boy?"

"As much as possible I don't wanna see him right now. Nor Heine. I feel so shitty right now I wanna waste somebody's face into pulp."

"Do you want me there?"

"No. I'm good. I need you there to work on the donor list. Just in case you know…"

"I understand…"

"Erika…"

"Yes?"

"How can I make her remaining six months happy?"

"Kira…I'm sorry…I don't know…" Erica Simmons could only offer her silence as the man on the other line broke into pitiful sobs. She could feel her own emotions twisting inside of her, the stings of tears pooling in her eyes, but she chose not to shed them. Right now, she doesn't have the right to.

"Kira…" her voice seems faint as it echoed through the oxygen mask. The loud hissing of the ventilating machine by her bed made it harder to hear her voice, as Kira strained his ears to hear her. He had been watching over her for almost three hours now, enduring the strong scent of chemicals and the monotonous rhythm of the monitors in her room. He held her skinny hand all this time, contemplating whether his decision of letting her go see Athrun over seven months ago was the right thing to do or not. He noticed how she lost a lot of weight, judging by the bony prominence of her hands. Patches of purple and blue blossomed all over her body, along with near fatal scratches and cuts she received from last night's incident. Her sunken eyes and chapped lips painted the picture all the grimmer.

"How…long have I been sleeping?" And there it was again. The smile that haunted Kira back when they were kids. That heart wrenching smile of hers. A smile that struggles to hide the pain inside, pretending that nothing inside hurts. A smile that tries to suppress all her hurt…

"Just a day's worth. " Touching his little sister's fore head, brushing off the stray strands. Her skin feels so cold to touch. Just like before, when they when they almost lost her …

"Why…are you here?" She made it sound that she didn't want him there.

"I came to see my stubborn sister of course. Plus I missed you. Why? Can't a brother visit his adorable sister once in a while?" He tried to crack a joke. He knew it was a really stupid and lame joke, but that's all he could come up with. He has this fake mask of a smile plastered on his face, which he had been practicing since last night. He was never good at hiding his emotions, but he can't afford to blunder out when it comes to Cagalli. He spent an hour crying inside the rented car, just so he won't be bawling his eyes out when she wakes up.

"You're funny. And please don't put up that weird smile of yours. It's freaky." She let out a dry giggle. He always thought giggles are some kind of a proof that the person's happiness or something. But why does his heart feels like it's about to burst when he heard her dry giggle?

"What are you talking about? You're the one who looks freaky! You look like a zombie!" He touched her forehead ever so gently. He remembered how he would tap her forehead every time she looks upset or down. It was one of his favorite forms of showing his care for her. But now, he can't touch her properly without the fear of hurting her.

"Kira. You can cry if you want. I don't mind…"

"I'm a guy! I don't cry!"

"If you say so."

"But Why? Why did you do that?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you sign the advance directives? Why did you refuse the surgery?" Kira could not hold his feelings anymore. Hiding the pooling tears in his eyes, he bowed down his head, in an effort to save his remaining pride.

"I don't see any use for it…" She knew her brother was crying. And she knew it was partly her fault. She didn't want him to know about the advance directives, but things got out of hand. She couldn't bear to see him like this. Averting her gaze, she sought her brother's warm hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Why are you doing this? Don't you give a damn what the others feel? Don't you know how much this affects me? Lacus? Meer?"

"Kira. I understand what you're saying…but don't you think I have the right to think about my future too?"

"But the decisions you're making are all fucked up! People around you are suffering…"

"Kira…"

"I feel so useless. My precious little sister is slipping from my hands and I can't do anything about it!! I thought that by letting you stay at that man's side for a brief period of time would help you recover your old self, but it just made things worse! I feel so pathetic!" The image of his bubbly little sister playing in the sunset colored shores of ORB. Her golden locks elegantly cascading down her shoulders, her giggles rivaled the choirs, and that ever so beautiful smile…

…Are now all gone.

"Kira…"

"Why won't you reconsider the operation? Why are you wasting your life? I can't take this anymore! Watching you throw your life away like this…Cagalli, please…Please…"

"I remember how Kira would magically pop out of nowhere whenever somebody was bullying me or when I was crying. Even back then, when the nurses and doctors would come in my room and poke me with needles and stuff, you were there, holding my hand, assuring me that it will be alright. It was really cute! I remember how you tried to beat up one of the kids in the Children's Hospital because he was bullying me. Turns out he was the son of the Hospital Director. I got really scared back then, because I thought they might kick me out. But you were like 'I'm the SON of the MOST INFLUNTIAL MAN IN ORB! TRY KICKING MY SISTER OUT, AND I SWEAR, I'LL CRUSH YOU!' You were really cool back then. And even though you act really stupid and perverted at times, I always thought that it was your indirect way of looking after me… And I really appreciate it. I really do. But I think it's time for you to start focusing on your own life now. You're going to be a father soon. I don't want to eat up your attention and time. It's Lacus and your kid's turn to monopolize you. So please…"

"What the fuck are you say—"

"I've already come to terms with my illness a long time ago. Since mother's death. Although Athrun did provide me with a little hope, it didn't take me a long time to figure that I'm not living in a rose colored world. And that is something inevitable. I've come to terms with that… So… I'm good now…" She held her brother's hand tight, squeezing it gently.

"Let's make the best of my remaining life…"

* * *

Back at the Shoot, the incident from last night has left quite a buzz among the staff. He told the staff that Cagalli just had her asthma attack and will need to stay in the hospital for a little bit; and that she might take a break too. Dearka received a call from Meer to deal with the ruckus, while at the same time, informing Heine of Kira's arrival in Aprilius. Although he wasn't present during last night's incident, and was not informed until that morning, he automatically knew this has unlocked Pandora's box. He always stood behind the lines, watching as the scenes unfold on their own, and when his help is needed, he would occasionally give his favorite pal a push or so. He was the one who was responsible for the slip offs and hints about Athrun's mysterious past, including the lyrics of the song "Last Song". He was also the one who pulled the string behind the 'make-him-jealous-shit' with a little cooperation from Rey. He knew about Heine's plans, and he did try to watch over his back. But he also has his own problems to deal with. And when he heard about the incident, he felt like he failed his friend.

Thus he decided to take the matters into his own hands.

"Hey Athrun!" he didn't wait for him to answer. He came barging in, after one brief knock on his door. He didn't care if he stumbles on him naked or whatever the hell he's doing right now. He doesn't have the luxury of waiting for him. If he's sleeping, then he'll drag him out of his bed, clothes or no clothes and force him to remember the shit he's supposed to remember. He doesn't care if he gets mad at him. It doesn't mean anything to the pain his amnesia is causing. It doesn't justify the suffering she is enduring…

They both deserve to be happy. To be free…

Those two…Athrun and Cagalli.

Only his target wasn't in his bed. Nor in the bathroom, that took him quite a while before he was able to muster the strength to barge in and behold the sight of Athrun's supposed nakedness. Nor in the kitchen. In fact he wasn't home at all.

Now even more frustrated than ever, he flips out his phone, and calls the people back in the set to check for Athrun. Thinking that he might have spent the night with Stellar, he asked about Stellar's whereabouts. Turns out she is on the set right now, getting her make up done. Puzzled at Athrun's location, he asked the staff as to where he might be.

"Ah, I think I saw him talking to two ladies. They look exactly alike, except for the fact that one of them has humungous boobs and the other one's pregnant. I think they were heading to the Beach Front."

He thanked his staff, and hung up. For a minute there, he felt a brush of relief. But he knew there's still things to be done. And that includes a certain blonde girl and a rust-blond man.

* * *

"So what brings you here?" Athrun could feel the awkwardness of Lacus' smiles and the endless sighs of Meer. He knew something was up, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Oh, nothing. Kira misses his sister, I want a break, Meer's bored, and I'm hungry." She began flipping and twirling the dessert spoon so gracefully between her fingers as she waited for her order of banana split.

"Ah speaking of which, is he going to take his sister back?" He didn't know the weight of his words back then. He just nonchalantly spit out the words he wanted, while taking another spoonful of his cheesecake.

Meer saw the brief tint of sadness in Lacus' eyes, and was prepared to take the fall, when Lacus suddenly stole a chunk of Athrun's cheesecake.

"Hey! What gives! Just because you're pregnant that doesn't mean you can go hogging other people's desserts!"

"Do you even know the meaning of sharing?"

"Seriously, Lacus, you should stay away from your husband. You're turning into his clone." He gave himself another mouthful of cheesecake. He was wearing a loose-fitting shirt with a black ribbed collar. And tucked in behind the flimsy collar was a glimmering pendant…

"Say Athrun, do you know the meaning of that stone pendant you're wearing?" Meer's jaw literally dropped at Lacus' statement. She couldn't possibly—

"Hmm?"

"It's called the Stone of Haumea, the goddess of fertility and childbirth. But if you give it to your love it means you're wishing him or _her_ a life full of love and happiness. Now do you want to know who gave that to you?"

Athrun gave a dumb, uninterested smirk. "Meer. Gave it to me."

Lacus smiled firmly, with hints of irritation. "Don't you remember anything about it?"

"Do I have to?"

"…"

"Athrun, do you really want to remember your past? Or not?" Meer decided to take over. She could see the growing annoyance on her cousin's face already.

"Not really. I mean, seriously, I'm fine as it is. I don't see the need nor the rush for recovering them. If I really need to remember then it'll occur naturally. Don't you think so?"

"BUT! But what if there's someone in your past who's waiting for you? And—"

"Enough! Meer, that's enough. I understand Athrun. It seems you're doing fine with your life now. I now hope that you should never regain your past memories. Now that you're contented with your life, I see no need for digging in the past. Right? Meer?"

Meer smiled sheepishly and nodded yes, as she pretended to busy herself with her soda. But in reality, she was enduring both the pain culminating inside her chest, and from the digging nails of Lacus into her hands, as she secretly tries to suppress her emotions.

"Oh shoot! I need to go now. It was nice having you back Lacus. You too Meer." He signaled for the waiter, while Lacus eyed him cautiously. "You don't really want to remember…right? Just say yes."

"I thought you understood it already?"

"But I feel like you're holding back. Your past…it wasn't something scary or painful. Nor was it unpleasant. It wasn't perfect either, as you had some tough times too, but…it was…"

"Fine! Fine. I'll pretend I have a little interest. What do you want me to do?"

Lacus grinned impishly, as she took out an old wooden music box from her purse. "Listen to that music box when you get home. I have other things for you to look at but I didn't have time to bring them along, so I'll just send them to you, next time. Then if ever, by some miracle you remember something, do tell me! I need to know."

Athrun gave the two a mock salute and left. When his figure was out of sight, Meer turned to her cousin, who all this time kept a perfect smile.

"It's ok now. You can let it out." She gently pushed her cousin's head into her bosom. "If you don't let it out, the baby will come out all cranky and bitchy. I'm sure you don't wanna have that." She was trying to make a joke, a desperate attempt in making Lacus feel better. She wanted her to let it all out, to free those suppressed emotions inside.

And she did.

"Cry as much as you can Lacus. I don't want you keeping them all up. And then, when we go to see Cagalli, you'll be smiling again. So, make sure you'll cry every single drop, ok?" She held her frail cousin close to her bosom, shielding her from prying eyes.

"Just cry as much as you can…I'll help pick up your broken pieces later…."She took out her sunglasses from her purse. She didn't want Lacus to see the pooling tears in her eyes.

* * *

He found himself walking by the bay side, lured by the clash of colors in the glimmering sea waters. Infatuated with how the crimson yellow tinge of the fading sunset desperately tried to blend in with the blue ripples of the sea waters. Ever since the shoot, he had somehow overcame his weird allergy with beaches. He had an easy day today, from start and hopefully the end. Stellar was extra nice to him today, and gave him extra full attention. From breakfast, to lunch, and everything in between. He had quick brunch with Lacus and Meer, who seemed less hostile and a little bit weirder than usual,; after which he headed back to the sweet haven of his dear Stellar, then lastly, shoot came fluidly, with fewer mistakes than ever. And about his useless, pain in the ass assistant, Cagalli, he was told by Dearka that she's doing fine and that she only had those fancy asthma attacks. She will need to stay in the hospital for a while, though. About which he doesn't really care. She doesn't do him any good and only brings in more pain in the ass than help. Seriously, with that incident she pulled last night, was her ultimatum. The next time she blunders out, he'll have her express mailed to her brother ASAP. Then he'll…

There was a silhouette standing by the shoreline that caught his attention. It seems really familiar, like he has seen this happen before. But when was it?

He walked closer to the bayside to take a clearer look. It was a female figure, dressed in a white long chiffon dress. He watched the lady walk by the shallow waves of the shoreline, occasionally picking something from the sand and throwing it as far as she can back to the sea. His curiosity perked up as he decided to take a much closer look.

"_Hey kid! What's your name? Why are you picking up those starfishes?'_

Now with him only a few yards away from the lady, he could see more details. She had a shoulder length blonde hair that seems to resonate with the setting sun. Her profile was well defined, along with the curves of her slender figure to which her wet dress has clung onto. Although it seems strange she was wearing a long sleeved dress in such a season, it didn't bother him. Instead, it added to the lure.

"_Hey! I'm talking to you! Stop picking up those starfishes! It's their fault they got washed up shore! You just should let them die!"_

And next thing he knew he was standing a few feet from her.

"_Just tell me your name! And leave those disgusting starfishes alone!"_

And this mysterious lady's name is…

"Cagalli…?"

The figure turned, and was surprised at his presence. "Athrun!"

"I thought you were sick. Shouldn't you be in the hospital?"

"Ah, yes. I was. But the doctors said I could leave, so I did. Although it surprised me a bit. I got out earlier than expected." She forced a giggle, as she tried to hide the bruises on her face by tilting her head away from him.

"So are you going back to work as my assistant then?" He had this nostalgic feeling brewing inside his chest. It feels like he's reliving an old dream he had. A really sweet and pleasant dream that has a beach side setting, and a blonde girl for a partner…

"Ah. About that." She turned to face him, with her back against the sun, using the magic of the shadow to mask on her bruised features. And it was then she caught a glimpse of a familiar object dangling between the confines of his collar.

"Well?"

She almost choked up her words at the sight of the glimmering stone. "I'm quitting the job as your assistant. I realized that I'm not cut out for the job, and after last night's incident, I figured I don't have any face to show nor any dignity to raise…"

He felt a cold chill run all over his entire body. Why does her voice sound so familiar? This certain tone of her voice? Where did he hear her use this? And why is he getting all giddy with her intentions of quitting the job? Did he want her to quit in the first place? Didn't he hate her hide?

"…So I've decided. I'm heading back to ORB! I've already said goodbye to everyone in the Shoot, so there's nothing left for me to do but formally hand you my resignation." She had this awkward smile on her face the whole time she was talking. He couldn't tell whether she was happy or sad at her resignation. It was really bothering him. But not as much as the knot brewing inside his chest. Only this time, it's much tighter, and much stronger.

As she fumbled to get the letter of resignation in one of her side pockets, without any warning, he threw his arms around her, locking her in a steely embrace. And it was then he made so many realizations. Like how skinny and light she had become, how her golden locks have grown, how her presence seemed so underestimated, and how short and memorable his time with her has been. His thoughts were flooded with so many realizations, yet only one of them stood out.

His chest was hurting because she's leaving.

But his logical side tried to dismiss it as the pain of saying goodbye to a friend who's moving away. That hurts too, right?

But does it always hurt like this?

And why are there tears pooling in his eyes?

Before he could come up with the answer, she pushed him off. "I'm sorry. I think I've had enough of Stellar's wrath."

"Ah, yes. I'm sorry." He barely had any composure left when he let go of her. His chest feels twice as heavy as before, with the knot twisted tighter and stricter than before.

"I'll be going then. It was nice meeting you. Athrun Zala."

"Same…here…"

"May Haumea grant you a life's love and happiness… Good bye!" He watched her turn her back, heading back to the trail path. He waited for her to turn her back and steal a glance from him. But she didn't. And he was glad. Otherwise, she'll see him crying. And if she dared to stop walking and showed any sign of hesitating to leave, he'll pounce on her and take her away.

Now the big question is, why would he do that?

He hated her, right?

He despised her for everything she's done.

All she brought him was nuisance and shit.

She wasn't of any use.

But wasn't it that his most peaceful times were the moments that he shared with her?

This realization didn't occur to him until her figure finally faded from his sight. It took him quite a while before he realized, it was his tears that were rolling down his cheeks, not the seawater. That his knees had given up and left him sprawled over the wet sandy shores. That as the pain inside his chest grew heavier and tighter, his grip on the tiny auburn pendant had gotten taut, as if he was begging the stone, to bring him back his happiness…

That he just threw away.

* * *

"Are you ready?" Kira touched his little sister's head, matting the soft blonde lock. Rubbing her eyes, she replied with a grunt. "I'm sorry I woke you up. The plane's here." He carefully unlatched the locks on her wheelchair's wheels. Then he checked the remaining contents of her IV bag dangling from her wheelchair's IV pole, before pushing her towards the elevator.

"Kira?" Her tired voice echoed through her oxygen mask, as her skinny hand reached for her brother's cheeks.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You're back on wheel chair duty again."

"Oh. It's alright. I don't mind. If I can baby my cute little sister, then I don't mind."

"Don't worry Kira. It'll just be another couple of months… then…"

He knew what she was about to say, and he didn't want to hear it. He was already aware of that fact. Ever since he received the news about the heart surgery shit back in ORB.

"So were you able to say goodbye to everyone?"

"Yeah. Including _him."_

_Him_. Somehow, the burden in his chest became heavier after hearing her refer to him. Just when he thought he was asking the safest question ever.

"I saw him by the shore. And I said goodbye to him. I was worried that he might see my bruises and all, but thank goodness it was getting dark so, hopefully, he didn't notice…"

He patted her head again. "I'm sure he didn't. He's so dense when it comes to those things."

"Yeah. I think so too. But…"

"But?"

"No. Never mind…it was nothing…"

"Awww. Spill."

"He… he was wearing the pendant I gave him. The Pendant of Haumea. Kira? Do you think, now that he has it back, will he be able to find his happiness now?"

"Yes. I think so. No. Scratch that. He has found his happiness already. So yeah. He'll be fine. " He matted her hair again. He was always good at lying. And that's how he got through all those deals and contracts. But when it comes to his sister, he always ends up blundering. He can never lie to her. But this time he did. Well, technically he didn't lie.

Because Athrun HAD found his HAPPINESS already.

He just threw it away.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm tried my best to portray Kira as the sweet and loving brother, I'm not sure if that reached out. You'll see more of Kira next chapter.../if I dont scrap it again..///

The song Blue Ether is about saying goodbye to a beloved who doesnt seem to notice what's he's about to lose. She wants to give him another chance, but in an indirect way of sorts, but he epically PHAILED!!It's like reflecting on how their moments shared together seems so meaningless to her, that it cant console her pain. That it only adds to the pain of leaving her beloved. //watch Macross Frontier//

I'm really happy at the reviews and response. I seriously didnt expect Last SOng would this big. I mean, this was the story I was planning to drop, and by a rare stroke of luck, it turned out to be the gold. As for the other fics, lemme finish this one first. I'm still gathering ideas for the next chapters, so do wait patiently.

I'm trying to cram some of my time in finishing the next chapter. /I actually have a sore throat right now/ Well, I had two version actually, but I figured they suck so I had to start all over again...XDD

Anyways, I think this story will reach until 25+ chapters the most. I dont think it'll reach 30 though...I still have a lot to tie up and explain, meaning more emo and angst for you peeps to /c/r/y/ about. About the ending, I decided to make 3 alternate endings: she died, she lived and 'teh what if...' ending. If I stumble into another resource, I may come up with a fourth one....XDDD

So the Bitch of the Story award goes to Stellar, huh?

Wanna guess who will be awarded the Bitch of the Story in Airen Maid?

LASTLY! THANKYOU TO ALL YOU GUYS WHO CONTINUOUSLY SUPPORTED THIS STORY!!!! AIYABBBYU!! XDDD

No seriously...To us writers, your reviews are the life blood of our ideas and writings. We...or in my case, write for you.

^^excuse my cheesy line. I'm sick..so...: l


	16. Whereabouts of Loneliness

_**

* * *

**_

_**Shinkai no Kodoku**_

* * *

_He had another dream. It was different this time. Unlike the other dreams he usually had, this dream felt like it was a memory, from his past. He was sitting calmly under the shade of a tree, watching the setting sun, when suddenly a pair of hands came and covered his eyes. He felt a pair of soft mounds press against his back and the soft caress of hair against his nape. He reached out to the owner's head, caressing the soft locks, then down to her shoulder, arms, then finally the hands that imprisoned his vision, feeling the slender fingers. Yet he stopped short when he felt the roughness of band-aids and small spots of callous on them._

"_I suppose this is the part where I should ask 'Who are you?'" he felt the warm fanning of her breath against his ears, tickling him. He struggled hard not to show any hint of getting a boner or even the simple blushing. "Happy BIRTHDAY!" her voice had a certain emphasis to the word birthday. He felt her hands loosen around his eyes. Before she could fully withdraw her arms off him, he grabbed her arm, and pulled her to face him. But she resisted, almost causing her to fall down face first, __if he didn't cut her off _

"_Geez. My birthday present's too lame." With one hand, he supported her as she scooted. She gingerly sat on his lap, with faint hues of pink gracing her cheeks. "Just so you know, it's your birthday…so consider this as a special service." She reached to cup his jaw, as one arm looped around his neck for support. Then placed a gently kiss on his lips, before whispering the words "happy birthday" for the second time. _

"_You're quite aggressive today…" He chuckled at her unusual efforts._

"_Because it's your birthday. I figured I should try and give some fulfillment to some of your lecherous fantasies."_

"_Oh then—"before he could even finish his sentence, her palm quickly blocked him off._

"_I KNOW WHAT'S RUNNING IN YOUR MIND. SO BEFORE YOU GET CARRIED AWAY, I'D LIKE TO MAKE THIS CLEAR. ABSOLUTELY NOT."_

"_EVER?" he made a cute puppy eyes look, but his efforts were in vain. _

"_You're making me regret about this special service."_

"_Hmm… I get it…I promise I won't go over the set limits we agreed on."_

"_Good."_

"_So, can I have another kiss again?"_

"_Ah wait! I forgot, I got these really good chocolates from Lacus. Let's eat it first. It was already soft and melting when Lacus gave it to me so…" she took the chocolate from her pocket and gently began unwrapping it. His patience was being tested as another wrapper unveiled itself. And another. Finally, the chocolate revealed itself. Using her slender fingers, she picked the already melting chocolate and offered it to him. He knew she didn't mean any malice with it, but to his eyes, it was a pure form of seduction. He opened his mouth to receive the chocolate, gobbled it down without even bothering to savor its taste. Instead, he took her chocolate stained fingers and began to lick the chocolate off._

_Her face had the color of beet red. She tried to take her fingers away, but he held her wrist tight. "You lecher!"_

"_I wonder who initiated it." He had his fill of the 'chocolate'. _

"_I did—", he knew she was about to revert to the usual violent mode of hers, so he quickly tried to get hold of the situation by kissing her softly. Soft kisses that slowly intensified into deep passionate kisses._

"_Pervert." She said breathlessly between kisses._

"_Yes I am. And that means you're in love with a pervert." As their lips parted, a delicate strand of saliva bridged their lips._

"_Well I guess…It sucks to be me then…" she giggled, as she kissed him again, this time in a purely platonic fashion._

"_Athrun…can you promise you'll stay by my side?" the girl sat up then carefully stood up. She gently smiled as she reached to touch his face._

"_I promise…I'll never ever leave you…I'll never hurt you, or make you cry. I'll never leave you alone. Ever. And if something should happen between us, I won't forget you. I promise you that." _

_The girl smiled. "Liar." And like any other dreams he had about this girl, it always ended with her disappearing slowly in thin air._

_Only this time, he could see clearly her tears rolling down her cheeks as she clutches her chest tightly._

* * *

When the plane carrying the Princess of ORB arrived, her welcoming committee was unlike any other. Instead of people greeting her, fancy bands blaring their horns and bouquets of leis and flowers welcoming her, it was the shrill siren of an ambulance and EMTs. Instead of a cheerful crowd, it was the panicking bodyguards and anxious councilmen who greeted her. As the EMTs transferred her frail body onto the gurney, the Jester Prince and his wife stood pale and petrified. Blood stains on their clothes were evident even through the night shade of the sky. They've seen so many of her attacks, but nothing could have prepared them for what they had witnessed. It didn't take long before the White Queen lost consciousness and fainted due to the extreme fatigue and stress that incident brought.

As soon as the Princess arrived in the hospital, a crowd of nurses and doctors surrounded her, tending to her already coding state. The Jester Prince could only watch in mute silence, as his precious sister clung on to her dear life. He watched painfully, helplessly as her life slowly loses its grip, trusting what's left of it to various machines and monitors. It was like, in a split moment, just when he wasn't looking, his dearest, precious sister turned from a vivacious and bright lady, into a frail and almost lifeless empty shell of a woman. He buries his head into his feeble and trembling hands in the hopes of shielding his thoughts from the harsh reality. He wanted to go back, when his little sister was still in his reach, when he still had the power to protect her, back to the time where her smile was at its fullest. He wanted to hear her cheerful voice again, her warm laughter, her innocent grumbles, and blunders. He wanted to hear her call him 'Kira-nii-sama' again, just like how she used to. He wanted to run back to that time…

He could see her now, dressed in her favorite white chiffon dress, her long blonde locks tied in pigtails, running in circles, as she waves her hands in the air frantically. Then he would call her name, and almost immediately, she would duck for cover, hiding from him, while grinning like a cat. Then just when she thought he couldn't tell where she is hiding, she would jump out of her hiding place and yell his name loudly: 'KIRA- NIISAMA!!!'

Back when that _man_ didn't exist in their own perfect world.

If she didn't meet him, she wouldn't have been this ruined. She wouldn't be sprawled in a nest of hopelessness and despair. She would still have the strength for fighting her destiny, full of optimism and hope. Not like this. Not like this…

"Kira?" The light pat on his back pulled him. It was Erica Simmons. His dried throat did not permit him to utter a single sound. Erica understood this and decided to take a seat beside him.

"Ah. I'm sorry. Were you sleeping?"

Clearing his throat, he uttered a faint no. "You look wasted Kira. I suggest you go home and sleep. Don't worry about her. I got her now, and I assure you, I will try and provide her the best this hospital can offer."

"This hospital can't provide her love…"

"And in your state, do you think you can provide her this so-called 'love' of yours?"

"…"

"Just shut up and go home. You've done your brother duties. It's time for me to look after her now. Don't forget you have a pregnant wife."

"I…I understand."

"I'll make sure you do. You'll have limited visiting hours here. Two hours per day, no exceptions. I want to make sure you're still doing your husbandly duties. I'll also have Manna and Kisaka watch over you. Now scram!" She pulled him by the arm, dragging him limply towards the exit, where his escorts stood waiting.

"I promise you, I'll do whatever I can, to keep her with us…so you better do your part too. You're her only family left now, so you better give yourself some importance."

He nodded in reply. Erica watched in mute silence as his figure faded from her sight, slowly. She wondered when did his eyes turn so empty and oblique. When did he lose his optimism and care free attitude? Is it because his 'sun' is slowly setting?

She didn't want to know.

Instead, she promised herself that she will do everything in her power to save that setting sun. Even if it meant depriving someone else's chance to live.

* * *

"I'll see you tomorrow then, G'bye!" Lacus sheepishly waved goodbye at the bedridden form of the Princess. It had been a month since she first arrived here in Orb with that near fatal attack, and so far she has been improving, yet she was still deemed unstable. One wrong move and it could send her into another code. And she knew the doctors cannot guarantee they could resuscitate her, if that should ever happen again. She gripped the door handle tightly as the Princess waved goodbye at her. It was hard to keep a poker face whenever she visits her. Every time she sees that simple and innocent smile, she could feel her heart breaking inside. She wanted to ask her so many things, about what really happened back there, but she couldn't find the strength. She feels like she might break the frail mask she had on her already fragile state.

"There you are! You're already running late for your Check-up!" it was Meer, with her hands akimbo. Behind her was the cigarette-puffing Erica. Lacus glared at Erica's smoking hand.

"I don't wanna her any complaints from you. I'm the boss here, no one can tell me off."

"I'm not gonna tell you off. I just wanna remind you—"

"That smoking isn't good for pregnant women? I know. Geez. Who do you think you're talking to? And besides, you're not supposed to be here. You should be down in the OB-GYN, not Step-Down." Erica puffed another smoke before ditching the stick in the ashtray.

"I just peeked in."

"Just how many times should you peek in? Ten? Twenty? Why don't you just shack up in front of her door and live there." Erica's sarcasm cued Meer to pull her cousin away.

"Stop beating around the bush, Lacus! Kira'll be pissed if he finds out you missed an appointment again."

"Oh? Kira's in bitch mode?" Erica lit another stick as she followed the near identical cousins to the elevator.

"Uhm, you do know that the elevator is a closed spaced, right?" Meer watched the doctor puff another smoke.

"Yeah? So what?"

"Just asking."

"Feh. I know what you're trying to say Meer. Don't worry, by the time this elevator door opens, I'm done with this stick."

"Oh. Right."

"So where were we? Ah, yes. Kira in bitch mode. What is it about?"

Lacus stood quiet, averting her gaze from the sharp eyes of Erica. She couldn't say it. It'll just break her heart more.

"No one's gonna answer me?" Erika waited for a reply, but none came. Instead, Lacus opened a new topic, in an effort to stray away her prying nose.

"Ms. Erica, has Cagalli's petition to be released been approved? I really want to take her out one of these days. The weather's perfect and there's so many things that have changed during her absence!" she kept her back facing the two, waiting diligently for the light on the button to turn on.

Erica furrowed her brows as she puffs her last smoke. "Yeah. So far, she seems stabilized enough to be released. But she can't take too many stressors. And you have to keep her on the drill. Once something goes wrong, rush her back here."

"I see. That's good then!" the elevator beeped open, she turned to face the two and waved good bye. "I'm good. No need to escort me there. I won't wander off, now that I know Cagalli's going to be out soon! I'll see you later!"

Meer smiled awkwardly as she returned the wave to her cousin. Erica kept her cynical look, as she lit another cigarette. When the elevator door finally closed shut, Meer quickly dropped the pretense expressions.

"Are those two fighting?" Erika puffed a ring shaped smoke out of boredom.

""Yeah." Erica lit another stick, as Meer began to walk towards the emergency exit. Erica pointed to the stairs leading to the rooftop. Meer followed.

"About Cagalli, I take it?" Meer asked for a stick as soon as they reached the rooftop.

"More or less." Meer concentrated her efforts into lighting the stick. Then with a quick puff, she turned to face Erica, who was admiring the view of Hospital's one hectare garden.

"Tsk. What is it this time?" Erica took another puff. She didn't bother to look at Meer. She thought, if she looked at Meer right now, it'll ruin her ideal view of Lacus. Seeing Meer smoking is like watching Lacus smoke, with the bumps focused on the chest, rather than the belly.

"Lacus wanted to try jumpstarting Athrun's memories by sending Kira to him. Of course Kira was pissed. He was already stressed out by Cagalli's condition, furious at his friend's shit, now his wife wants him to dab more in the mess. If I was in Kira's shoes I'd be pissed too."

"Heh. Your cousin can be persistent and annoying at times. Too naïve." Erika chuckled.

"I know. But I do understand her point too. We both believe that Athrun's starting to remember his past. He's just denying it, because of Stellar. And Heine's at fault." Meer began to knead her forehead, trying to relieve the building stress in her head.

"Heine? Why am I not surprised?" Erika scoffed as she puffed.

"You know about him?" puzzled, Meer took out the stick from her lips.

"I know more than you do. Heine was supposed to be the saving grace of his family. All his family's hope depended on his engagement to Cagalli. But after Zala appeared, everything went down the drain for him. Thus making it only natural for him to hate Zala. That's why it was kinda weird for him to get all friendly with him after Zala's accident. I mean, yeah, they made up after a couple years of 'warring' but still it felt awkward for him to coop up with Zala like that. He then forbids Lacus to bring up any Zala related matters to anyone in the mansion, especially to Cagalli. I feel like it also applies to me to, but like I give a fuck about it."

"Yeah. Got a point there. That's what Dearka and I thought too. I tried to tell Lacus about it, but she ignored me." Taking her last puff, she deeply inhaled the smoke, savoring the strong taste and thrill of nicotine.

"Kira already had a doubt, that's why he sent Dearka to monitor him. Everything was going smoothly, until Heine pulled the Stellar shit." Meer added, as she lit another stick.

"Heh. I just hope it doesn't back fire on him. So what are you planning to do now?" Erika dropped her stick on the floor and squashed it. As she was about to light her next one, Meer grabbed the stick from her. She gave a mild glare at the girl, but Meer just shrugged it off nonchalantly and proceeded to light the cigarette.

"I'll go back to Aprilius as soon as Cagalli gets discharged. It's next week, right? Then I'll meet up with Dearka and try to iron this shit, once and for all."

"Wish you good luck then." Erika gave her a mock salute.

"Yeah. Gonna need a lot of those." Meer smiled as she dropped the half finished cigarette on the floor.

* * *

It has been over a month and a half since Dearka last heard from the ORB. Two weeks after the Princess left for ORB, he got a call from Manna, informing him that the Princess had been admitted to the hospital ever since she arrived. Although Manna promised to call as soon as she gets out, days turned to weeks, and he has yet to receive the long awaited call. And finally, after such a long wait, he receives his much awaited report from Meer. News that greeted him with mixed emotions. He was happy to hear that Cagalli's doing well, but the fact that she rejected the surgery and Kira's rage over Athrun. Her refusal of the surgery bothers him greatly, next to the raging storm called Kira. He understands Kira's feelings, but he also has obligations to his friend.

Especially now.

Lately, Athrun has been showing signs of memory recovery. He's been unconsciously recalling things about the past, especially when he's in the company of Stellar. He liked the look on Stellar's face when Athrun joked about the musicbox "she" made for his birthday. He was so enthusiastic about it, that Stellar couldn't dodge it. He even started humming melody from the music box Stellar supposedly made. It was also Stellar's supposedly favorite song, called "Sayonara". Thinking back, he remembered how Athrun treasured that handmade music box Cagalli made for his birthday. Seriously, he can never get enough of the mushy crap this couple has. He knew Athrun gave the Princess a music box, now the Princess wants to give him the same thing, only "Cagalli-fied". It took her countless hours of practicing how to carve a pattern nicely on a thin wooden block, how to properly sand and apply the finishing touches. He already volunteered to help build the gears works of the music box, she just had to deal with the decorations and exterior patterns. She endured the cuts, bruises and calluses from using the tools, the strain on her eyes and muscles every time she has to focus on the fine details. That's why even though it came up a little sloppy and off, he couldn't help but be proud of her. Despite all the negative criticism his trained eyes were screaming out (the patterns' too sloppy! The corners were not properly sanded! So many chipped areas! Uneven sanding and varnish!), to him it was the most beautiful handmade musicbox he'd ever seen. Dearka chuckled silently as he nostalgically reminisce about the forgotten past.

He almost got into a fight with him after Athrun began suspecting that he was falling for his Princess due to his frequent meetings with the Princess. But that wasn't true. If there's someone who's head over heels with Cagalli, then that'll be Heine. Not him. He only got off the hook when he began dating Meer out of Cagalli's urgings and his recent misunderstanding about the Princess' so-called fling with him, which ended in a catastrophe. It really pissed him off, but he decided to just swallow the shit. He can't risk blurting out the real reason why he's always around the princess for the sake of saving his ass. He was just merely helping the Princess in dealing with his rather complexing friend. He had no intention of stealing her away from him.

Ever.

He later stepped in, settling the misunderstandings, using the music box as a form of another lovey-dovey token.

Stellar's frustrated tone brought him back to reality just in time to save her slowly sinking grace. He was starting to feel so bad for Stellar that he had to step in and intervene. "Dude, I think you're mistaking Stellar for someone else. Stellar just happens to resemble that person."

He watched Athrun's face beam with embarrassment, while Stellar's frustrated and insulted expressions. He didn't inquire what happened after that. He wasn't interested. He was more interested in reporting the incident to Meer. He couldn't wait until she returns from Aprilius, along with the "materials" needed for their plan, next week.

Just one more week.

* * *

"Do you want me to tie your hair up, milady?" It was Manna, who had been so restless since her favorite Mistress arrived from the hospital. The last time she saw her mistress was when she had cut of her gracious blond locks into a shabby shoulder length mane. But now, although still inches short from her usual chest length hair, she was very pleased that her mistress has slowly regained her lost majesty.

"Ah, no. I'm fine." She wanted her hair down for this simple party her brother and Lacus held. A lot of her old friends and family will be coming, and she wanted to show them that's she's fine.

Even though she knows that's just a lie.

But she can't possibly take off that mask. She doesn't want the people around her worried. The strain her situation has caused on her brother's marriage was already intolerable. Every time she sees Lacus' disheartened smile, it breaks her heart more. That's why, she cannot possibly cause any more inconvenience to them. No more.

Even if it meant wearing this smile until the very last…

"Howdy Skeleton face!" Meer's voice caught her off guard. She literally jumped off her seat! Manna saw this and quickly scolded Meer for startling her, and Meer just chuckled it off.

"So nice to see you out of that gloom box."

"Thanks."

Meer smiled. The green tube gown complimented Cagalli's amber eyes perfectly, Meer thought. Except for that weird red bushy shit on her chest. Is it to hide her cleavage? If so, then it must be that Siscon, Kira's doing. She wanted to pull that red bush thing off, and replace it with white ribbons instead.

"Seriously! How can you stay so cute and pretty even though you're half assed sick? Geez. If he was here, I'm sure he'd be drooling _his_ eyes out!" Manna snapped at the taboo reference to _that man_, but Cagalli simply laughed it off.

"Say, I can't stay too long today. Got some errands to do, so I'm here to give you my greetings." Meer took the comb from Manna and began working on her hair. She took a small part of her on the side and tied it with a green ribbon. She did the same thing on the other side, before matting the hair at the back. Then she pulled two feet of the pale hue of green ribbon, and turned the Princess towards her.

"Wha? What are you doing!"

"This stupid bushy is bothering me…"

"Wha! Stop!!!"

The party started with an abrupt delay of the Princess' entrance. Apparently there was some kind of wardrobe malfunction, according to Manna. Meer nonchalantly dismissed it, and assured Kira that there was nothing to worry about.

But when the Princess came out, everybody's jaw froze in awe. Meer began chuckling, as she tried to sneak her way out, only to be blocked out by the fuming Siscon brother.

"Don't turn my sister into the likes of you!"

"What? Excuse me, but what are you trying to say? Just so you know you have a profoundly retarded sense of fashion! Just what the fuck is that red bush shit! I simply added a little touch!"

"Her chest is showing! She might trip on those absurdly long ribbons!" Kira was trying his hardest to rant discreetly.

"Dude, that's one of the consequences of wearing a tube dress. The boobs are bound to show. And she won't trip on those ribbons. Trust me." She literally shoved her palm into his face, pushing him away. Kira tried to get abck at her but was cut off by a familiar voice.

"Oh my! Meer, you did a wonderful job on that dress!" It was Lacus, popping out in time to pull her husband out of his ranting. She was wearing another eye popping tube dress. It was a white tube dress with a really deep v-cut on the chest and the uneven skirt provided more or less decency than usual, but they provided the disguise for her rounded belly. Pink embroideries trimmed the edges around.

"Huwaw. Lacus, you don't look pregnant at all!"

Lacus giggled at the remark. Kira on the other hand was left dumbfounded. Completely speechless at the sight of his wife.

"Dear, don't worry, I'll make a special service for you tonight…"Lacus winked seductively at her husband, touching his lips with the tip of her fingertips, gently tracing it. Kira's lips as if on automatic mode, parted, waiting for the next move. But Lacus withdrew her finger and simpley bestowed an innocent kiss on the cheek, clearing him out of trance. Kira cleared his throat loudly, and decided to not to comment or respond to Meer's impish looks. He excused himself and went to his sister's side.

As soon as Kira was out of earshot, Lacus dropped her smile and reverted to a serious mode. She pulled Meer outside the mansion, out of Kira's view. "Do you have everything?"

"I got all the volumes here."

"Good. Stay for a little bit then go. The plane leaves at 4pm. You'll get there by 6 or 7."

"An—"

"Excuse me, is this where the party for Ms. Athha is? It was a lady dressed in a casual two piece suit. A white lab coat was tucked neatly on her leather purse.

"Yes. And you are?"

"I am Doctor Murrue Ramius. Former instructor of Athrun Zala back in his intern days. I'm here to return something to Ms. Cagalli."

"Huh? What did you say?" Lacus's eye grew bigger at the words of the doctor. She pulled the doctor further away from the entrance.

"Ah, forgive my rudeness, but right now, the name Athrun Zala is taboo in our mansion. By the way, I'm Lacus Clyne-Yamato-Athha, wife of Kira Yamato-Athha. And this lady here is my cousin, Meer Campbell. What can we do for you?"

"Oh, then did I come at the wrong time? I have some valuables for either Cagalli or Athrun. I wanted to return it."

"Ah. Can we see it?"

"Ah sure." Murrue carefully pulled a small box from her purse. Inside the box was a small wooden box that had obviously seen better days.

Murrue noticed the weird expressions on the two ladies and smiled apologetically. "I believe it was already like that before I came into possession to it. It's actually a musicbox. Athrun told me that it was Ms. Cagalli's birthday gift to him few years back, and that it was handmade. So I guess that'll explain the rough interior."

"Ahehehe. Yeah."

"Anyways, I managed to salvage the musicbox during the locker clean up. I heard Athrun didn't want to pursue his medical studies and decided to give away everything in his locker. This music box was about to meet it's fate in the trash when I happen to come by it. I am aware of Athrun's current memory loss. I was thinking this might help. He really treasured this musicbox. Every time he was stressed out or exhausted, he'd just listen to this music box, and he'd be recharged again.I meant to give it to Ms. Cagalli but it slipped my mind due to my wedding and my recent transfer to another city. So when I heard the Princess is back, I decided to stop here and give this back."

"Is it ok if you entrust this to us? You see, we also share your sentiments. We want Athrun to remember his past too."

"Ah. Is that so? Then I'll be glad to leave this in your hands."

"Thank you..."

* * *

"I'm sorry about the delay." Meer folded her umbrella and whisked it away before boarding Dearka's car.

"It's fine. Winter's closing in, so I guess a rain or two would be expected. How's the trip?"

Meer scoffed. "Dreadful. I almost puked myself dry in that plane!"

"Ahahaha…next time try traveling by the sea. It's so much relaxing than by plane."

"Heh. I'll keep that in mind then. Anyways, what's up with Amnesiac Guy?" Meer tried to read Dearka's expression from the mirror of his car. But the dim lighting bought by the rain proves it difficult.

"From the way I see it, I'd say he's slowly remembering things. But the thing is, even though he's getting aware of the memories, he still refuses to acknowledge them."

"I see."

"Well?"

"I'm not a patient person, but I'm not heartless either. This is the last time I'm going to help him remember. I'm tired of helping his ass out. I have my own life to live. So if he doesn't want our help this one last time, then fuck it. Let him cower in regret. It's his loss."

"Is—is her condition…"

"The hole has increased in size, and its effect on her heart is getting much worst. Simmons said her last ECG confirmed her cardiomegaly has turned for the worst. It's .9 mm bigger than before."

"Cardiomegaly?"

"Her heart's growing bigger. The bigger it gets the weaker it goes. If her heart can't pump properly, it'll complicate her other systems. Simmons already found early signs of organ failure. It's like a race to which ever kills her first: her heart or her organs…And its just in a matter of months now…."

"…"

"Heh, she can't even climb a simple stair case without fainting. Even simple chores are getting too tiresome for her .Just now, right after I got off the plane, I got a call from Lacus, crying about how Cagalli fainted again. Apparently she was trying to help clean out her old apartment by herself. If it wasn't for Manna's nosy-ness, they wouldn't have found her. They still don't know her stats, but…"

"…"

"I just want her to be happy…" Dearka's eyes noticed the box on Meer's lap. She has been tracing the contours of that thing for quite a while now. As he was about to move into a different topic, he noticed what that box is actually is.

The Music box Cagalli made for Athrun…

* * *

**Terms!**

**Cardiomegaly**: teh heart growing big, literally.

**ECG:** ElectroCardioGram. it measures the electrical activity of your heart... You know that thing that writes zigzag thingies on the paper you see in hospital shows? That's like it, but the nodes goes to teh chest, instead of the head, and it measures the heart's conduction thingy.

**SisCon**: Older Siblings, mostly male, who are uber protective over their younger sisters, or soemtimes Older sisters. may hint some sexual or more than filial affection towards the sister. But in this case, i'm more aiming for the Over protectiveness. But in the Animu itself, I'd say, Kira has a thing for Cagalli...XDDD

**Rinne rambles!**

The song, Shinkai no Kodoku is Stellar's Image Song from GSD. Really cute and haunting. it helped me picture the scene when Cagalli arrived in the airport barely alive, just like STellar's Death. Consider this as my Christmas present for you guys. I also updated Airen Maid.

Also, I might upload the next chapter for this one soon. it's already done and waiting for the beta reading. Hints about the next chapter? Some one gets tortured, someone bawls their eyes and some one is going to...

For more hints, look up the songs Solitary Serenade by Sawano Hiroyuki and Kimi Ga Hikari ni Kaete Yuku/ Iku By Kalafina. You can find Kimi Ga in gendou, but I'm not sure about solitary Serenade. I'm sure youtube has it...

AND LOTS OF THANKIES TO CC FOR BETA READING!!! I"M SO SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION!!!

And do you guys wanna help me patch up my fence wall? Some drunk decided to make a new entrance on our backyard n Christmas Morning. So we got this gaping hole in our wall.

Ah, and do you guys think cosplaying Fuuko Ibuki would be nice? Or Will Chise of Saikano be better?

I wanna go to Anime Expo..._


	17. Solitary Serenade

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* * *

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_**Solitary Serenade**_

* * *

The cold foggy morning greeted Athrun with its dreary smile. The sun, concealed behind the heavy clouds, has lost its throne to the rain for almost a week now. And although he is familiar with the cold embrace of the rain, his heart longs more for the warmth of the selfless sun. Without it's warmth he feels sluggish and exhausted, as the cold weather continues to lull him to sleep.

"Hey, Athrun, can you spare me a minute?" It was Dearka, bundled in warm cashmere sweater he's guessing came from his friend's new fling.

"Sure."

"What time does your filming ends?"

"Around 5 or something. We can't shoot the other scenes with this gloomy weather, so for now, we'll be trying to film the indoor scenes. Why? What's up?"

"I need to talk to you about something really important, so can you drop by tonight? When you're free?"

"Sure thing." Dearka salute a goodbye as he watched his friend turn his heel and head back to the filming area. Now that that's done, let's deal with the fake blonde, He thought bemusedly as he flipped his phone on and dialed Meer's number.

"Say, are you in the mood for bashing? I need your line of expertise in bitch bashing." He could imagine Meer's maniacal face as she replied "sure thing" to him. He remembered the days of Meer's reign of fear over the freshmen level until the early senior level and the only person who rose against her was the White Devi—err Queen, after she openly announced that she'll be targeting the Amber Princess. He knew Kira would have raised hell over Meer, but since she possesses one of Kira's weaknesses which is the uber humongous boobs, he could not possibly win. While Lacus, when crossed, holds no bars against her prey—err enemies…

He chuckled at the nostalgic rush of memories from his past. And at the same time it annoyed him how he can never share all these precious moments with his pal, Athrun.

And for the first time in his life, he had never felt so anxious in his life over the coming of night fall…

* * *

"So you see, we can easily pull the plug out from your career. Not to mention the wrath you'll face from Zala's beloved fans if they find out about you little game." Meer grinned menacingly as she pulled Stellar twisted hair up. Stellar's face contorted in pure agony. Lured in by Dearka Elsman's inquiries about her singing voice, she found herself bound and gagged by a strait jacket, at the mercy of a Devil Cow.

"I know about your family's secrets. How your Father is currently in the illegal drug trade business. I'm also aware of the fact that your brothers are currently steroid takers. It'll be a big mess if the media finds out about the secret of the most popular athletes, Sting and Auel Oakley. Though it is true you changed your name, that doesn't clean the dirt on your back. You're still trash Heine picked up." Meer's voice rumbled with the sharp blade of malice and animosity as it cut across Stellar's mask.

Stellar could not believe what she's hearing. How can this cow know about her family's secrets? Jut who the hell is she and why is she doing this?

"Ahhh—you must be wondering—'why the fuck is this bitch doing this to me?'—yes?" Meer's eyes glinted with venom, as her voice hissed.

"That's because you dared to lay a hand on someone you have no right to even walk with on the same earth. Trash like you shouldn't be lying in front of her. You're not even worth a single strand of her hair! You are that WORTHLESS compared to her, you scum."

Stellar still couldn't comprehend what this cow is talking about. The look of confusion was evident against her tear stained face.

"Ah—I'm sorry, I forgot, you're a profoundly ignorant bumpkin who knows nothing. Lemme enlighten that dipshit of a brain you have." Meer lifted her mud-soaked boot and stepped on Stellar's face hard.

"I'm sure you've heard of the Athha's of ORB?" Meer paused for a bit waiting for Stellar's reply. But Stellar didn't know she was supposed to reply. It wasn't until she felt the muddy boot pressing harder on her face.

"ARE YOU FRIKIN DEAF OR WHAT? I SAID, HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE ATHHA's OF ORB? YES OR FUCKIN' NO?" Her voice thundered on Stellar's ears. She literally jumped in fear as she nodded yes in reply to this demon's question.

"Ah yes, of course you do. You used to live in ORB, right? Well then, I'm sure you've heard of the Amber Princess of ORB then? YES?" Meer's voice rumbled again. Stellar, afraid of what might happen to her, began nodding her head frantically.

"Good, Good. SO it seems you still have common sense, filth. Well then—" Before Meer could continue her terrorizing, Dearka appeared and loosened the gag on Stellar's face.

"WHAT THE SONAVASHIT ARE YOU DOING?" Meer roared as she watches in outraged fury, Dearka loosening the strait jacket around Stellar. Stomping her heel did nothing to faze Dearka as he helped her prey stand up.

"Sheesh~ I was just gone for a couple of minutes and you go off breaking all hell. Seriously, Meer!" Dearka gave a quick glare at Meer. Meer scoffed and pulled a chair out.

"Are you blind? I'm setting her free. I think you've done enough. More like, you went overboard." He smiled gently at Stellar's terrified figure. He took his handkerchief and gently wiped away the dirt on her face. "Listen, I'm sorry I had to trick you like this. I didn't expect her to go berserk on you. But our point is, we want you to break up with Athrun. We are already aware of your relationship with Shinn Asuka of FAITH enterprise. That's all. And hopefully you'll keep quiet about this. And don't worry; we'll keep quiet about your family's secrets too. Also, I didn't lie about the recording. That is if you still want the offer I made.

The fear stricken Stellar could only cry her eyes out on Dearka's chest. He gingerly helped her up and walked her to his car. "I'll take her home. Meet me back at the Beach Front. Athrun's coming by seven. Get the stuff ready."

"Wait! Whattabout Heine? What are you planning on doing with him?"

There was a long eerie pause before Dearka gave a reply. "I won't do anything with him. I'm leaving it to his guilty conscience. I'm sure by now; he has a pretty good idea of what's going on around him, considering his unusual amount of absence ever since she left."

* * *

Athrun Zala breathes hard on his chilly hands as he waited for Dearka at the agreed meeting place. The cold winter breeze silently accompanies him in his wake, as he tries to pass time by drawing random shapes on the sandy floor of the Beach Front. He was thankful for the chilly weather for keeping people away from the Beach Front around this time. That way no one would see his pathetic form playing in the sands in such a freezing weather. He sighed heavily as he pulled the furry hood of his jacket onto his head.

…"Next time, I'll try to knit a big scarf for your sensitive nape! And you better take good care of it! It's not easy knitting you know!"…

There was it again, that warm, nostalgic voice, ringing softly in his ears. Lately, he's been having weird dreams that seemed more of a memory rather than a dream. For some reasons, those dreams makes sense to him, as if they really did occur in the past.

But why are they so blurry? And why is it that he can't see her face, much less remember her name?

…That haunting blonde girl in his dreams…

"Yo!" Dearka's trudging footsteps broke his train of thoughts. He casually waved his hand to greet his friend.

"Did I made you wait too long?"

"Naah. Just got here. So, what's up?"

"Ah, wait, we need to wait for Meer. She said she's on her way."

"Meer? Why?"

"…"

"Wait—don't tell me, is this one of those memory shits again? Unbelievable! Of all people, not you too Dearka!" Athrun gave an exasperated sigh. Dearka's face remained emotionless, as he muttered "let's just wait for her, and then we'll explain."

"Why would I? Why are you people so riled up about my past? Can't you see? I'm fine as it is!"

"No You're not fine. You just think you are, but you're not!"

"And who are you to tell? My mother? Hah, is that it?"

"Your deceased mother would want your memories back too. Do you remember what she said before she died?"

Without warning, Athrun grabbed Dearka by the throat, and with menacing eyes, he hissed: "Don't ever drag my mother's name into this shitless conversation!!"

"Ah, so I see. Our efforts are after all, worthless." Meer's voice broke the heated atmosphere between them. Dressed in an immaculate white ribbed sweater dress, she approached the two in a solemn rhythm. Carrying a flimsy looking gym bag, one would think about how off her taste in fashion is, but because of the awkward situation, not even Dearka dared to crack a joke. Athrun loosened his grip on Dearka.

"I never asked for your help in the first place."

"I know. But we thought you'd appreciate it once you remembered what you've forgotten. But I guess that won't be happening anymore." Meer's voice seemed weirder in tone than usual. Dearka, straightening his composure, tried to read her facial reactions, but failed. Behind Meer's nonchalant smile, he knew she was planning something.

"So I guess, you don't need to see these things anymore…" The sound of a lighter flicking on made Dearka's eyes grow bigger, as he watched in mute silence. Meer took one of the journals inside the gym bag and began to burn it. He turned to Athrun, hoping for a reaction, but he had his back turned and was already walking away. The smell of burning paper began to fill the chilly air. Dearka can only turn his eyes away, as the journal fell down on the ground. Meer took another one and just like the other, lit it up with her lighter. As the second book slowly met its demise, Meer took another item from the gym bag…

This is it. The chances of Athrun remembering his past.

Gone…

He failed his friend. He failed Cagalli…

It was the music box. Meer's eyes turned into a gentler and more melancholic shade as she traced the clumsy designs on the box. She wound up the key few times, and then flipped it open. The melody played softly, as if it was saying its final farewell…

_To its dearest owner…_

"Ah, this one would be hard to burn, so I better do something else…" By this time, Athrun was already a couple of feet away from the two, and he had no intention of going back. Despite the ringing of conscience inside his head in the form of a headache, or the fast beating of his heart when he saw the book being burned.

Why would he be bothered?

It was something from his past life. Therefore its irrelevant to his present.

He has no need for such mementos.

But when he heard the melody playing its soft farewell, he felt his heart skip a beat, and an overwhelming surge of emotions flood his entire mind and body, suffocating his breath. And before he knew it, he had his heels turned back.

…"Happy Birthday! And no complaining allowed! I did my best you know! It was hard, but I really tried my best! So be thankful that I got you something for your birthday! And… and…uh…I…ILOVEYOU! VERYVERYVERYMUCH!"…

Tears falling down his cheeks, he could slowly see that girl's face appear in his mind. The soft silhouette of her profile slowly being traced into light. He could see those warm amber eyes looking back at him now…

Her porcelain skin, warm pink lips, and those gentle yet hardworking hands of hers, outstretched, reaching out for him…

And her name…

_Her name…_

As if time began to move slowly, he saw the music box fall out of Meer's hand, and into the burning pile of journals. He saw her take out a small bottle from the bag and poured it into music box, as it waited to meet its demise.

_Her name is…_

A loud crash echoed throughout the night, followed by the sound of wood crackling under the heat of the fire. Whatever was inside that bottle helped accelerate the burning of broken music box. Despite its wrecked state, the music box continued to play, although missing some beats.

…_Do you remember my name now?..._

Dearka was surprised to see him running back. He turned to tell Meer, who obviously knew that he's coming. Meer greeted him with her fake smile, as she took another book and ripped it into two, before lighting it up.

…_Will you tell me?..._

Crumbling down to his knees, with hands trembling, and tears pouring, Athrun Zala tried to salvage the pieces of the music box from the fire .

"I will! I remember your name now." He sobbed loudly, as he tried to put off the fire from whatever pieces he could still distinguish as a part of the music box, with his bare hands. To Meer's eyes, Athrun was reduced to a kid crying his eyes out after throwing away a toy he got tired off. To her, such kids are unforgivable. Therefore…they must be punished more.

She ripped more pages from the already torn journals, and showered them upon Athrun's pitiful form. Dearka tried to take the gym bag away from her, in an effort to stop her from burning everything.

…_can you say my name, without any mistakes?..._

"Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli…" He could feel his heart burning painfully, numbing his senses. All he can feel now are the deadly pangs of guilt and pain stabbing his chest. That innocent smile of hers is now tainted with his black stains of deceit and betrayal. His mind was spiraling in the endless wave of guilt, torturing him continuously. He didn't care about his nose dripping nonstop, or the overflowing tears staining his cheeks or the burns and cuts on his hands, or the chilly air. For he knew it was nothing compared to the pain he had caused her. It was nowhere near the humiliation and suffering she had to endure because of his incompetence…

It wasn't Dearka who was worthless. Not Meer, or Kira or Lacus. It was him. He was the worthless one. He was the unforgivable was the selfish asshole in this whole picture…

How can he say those selfish things to these people?

And to hurt her so much…

Meer was quietly watching Athrun's groveling form, when her phone started to ring. She flipped it on, and grimly said 'hello'. Dearka could now read her thoughts clearly, as her facial expression turned from a sadistic bitch into a painful portrait of hurt. And somewhere in his mind, Dearka braved for the worst news that could turn Meer's proud form into something like that.

"Hey, AssShit." Meer stepped on Athrun's groveling back, as she pushed the loud speaker on.

"Lacus, can you say that again?"

"…Meer? Meer, can you hear me now? It's Cagalli! She—She--- She isn't breathing!"

As those simple words registered their place in Athrun's mind, the loving picture of Cagalli Yula Athha in his mind was shattered into million pieces.

* * *

**Rinne's blurbs:** I dunno what to say. I tired to picture a pathetic Athrun, a Sadistic Meer, a helpless Dearka and a cowering Stellar as much as I could.

Also, since classes are due to start in 3 days, I'll try to work on the last remaining chapters. Explainations about their pasts and stuff. Do you guys still want the 3 endings? Or just the cliche' 'she lives!' ending? Or will you just let me be the Grim reaper and hack her string of fate? I gots a full load of science/suicide/ classes, so updating might be slow. KEYWORD: MIGHT BE...XDD

That's all

Hopefully you liked this chapter. My dear Beta reader did. Especially Meer's Psycho mode.


	18. Last Night, Good Night

It has been a while since I last updated this story. I got buried under a pile of schoolwork, work and other shit. But as promised, I'll finish this story.

* * *

_**Last Night, Good night…**_

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The light shuffling gently stirred him up. With his eyes still heavy from sleep, he gingerly opens one eye. Even though his eyesight was still blurry from sleep, he could tell that there was this female figure next to him, watching him sleep.

"Ah, I'm sorry… Did I wake you up?"

"Hmm…no…" he groaned as he shuffled into a more comfortable position.

"You're still sleepy. Go back to sleep." He felt a light caress on the side of his head, softly lulling him to back to sleep. As his consciousness slowly falls into Sandman's realm, he heard a soft lullaby.

A lullaby of goodbye…

* * *

"So he finally remembered? How is he taking it then?" Lacus' tired voice echoed within the four corners of the waiting room. Her exhausted form hunched against the cold wall, as if seeking some kind of solace from the mute barricade. If this news came on a better time, she would be seriously jumping for joy, rejoicing. But due to some circumstances that happened earlier…

"He fainted. The doctor said it must have strained his mind or some shit like that. I'm not really sure. Ask Dearka."

"I see. But, he's okay now, right?" a faint headache begins to pound on her temples. She buries her clammy forehead into her hand, while she limply clutches the phone with the other hand.

"Yeah, but he's still out. Never mind that pathetic loser, whattabout you? What exactly happened there?"

Lacus sighed again. "Heine made a scene outside the hospital after Kira ordered him to be banned from visiting Cagalli. He threw a fit and socked some of the male nurses. We had to call the cops on him because of that."

"But why? Why deprive Heine the rights to see her? Does she know?"

"Kira's been on berserk mode ever since she arrived here. He's out to get anyone he thinks is an enemy. And no. She has been heavily sedated. She can't take the pain anymore. We might move her back to the mansion. She said… she wanted to spend her last moments there…" she could feel her voice breaking up.

"Is she really that hopeless?"

"Meer, I can't even bring myself to look at her anymore…." And with those words, her heavily suppressed emotions gave out, as they flooded her eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile, under the gray winter sky, a certain fallen soul makes his way to visit another ailing soul. His once lively orbs of mauve were now nothing but empty shades of purple. Unshaven and haggard, he exposed his exhausted form to the public, against the advice of his council. For right now, nothing in this world can stop him from protecting that fading Sun.

"KIRA! YOU BASTARD!" Like a wounded wolf, Heine lunged at the bullet proof glass that separated him from the man called Kira. "How dare you do this to me? I demand to be released at once! I need to see her!" his eyes were glaring with anger, ready to pierce the thick barrier of synthetic glass. But it wasn't enough to faze the man.

"You. You were the one behind Athrun's so-called accident right? You had one of his colleagues lace his drink so he won't be able to go to their meeting. But you thought, 'Ah, this is my chance to get rid of the bastard who stole everything from me' so you paid that truck driver to instigate that accident. You thought he won't survive such mishap. But you were wrong."

"What the fuck are you talking about? Have you gone mad?" Heine banged his fists on the glass, as if he was trying to scare off Kira's ludicrous ideas.

The man called Kira, undeterred by the banging, increased the tone of his voice, enough to boom out in all four corners of the room, as he continued with his accusations."But then again, when you found about his comatose state, you thought, you still had a chance. But she won't budge to your advances. You thought it was forever over when he woke up."

"That's.. .absurd.. . I…"

"It's not. I personally investigated it. I chose to keep quiet because I thought she'll be able to move on. That she'll be able to get over it. But I was dead wrong. And you fuckhead tried to make a movie out of her tragedy? Don't you think she had enough of your shit?"

"I… didn't mean it to turn that way. " He felt his legs crumble down on him. "I admit all my sins against Athrun, but I never ever meant to hurt her. I was jealous of Athrun! I'm supposed to be the man next to her, not him! She's my everything. I love your sister! I can never hurt her!"

"What bullcrap are you spewing, you asshole? You just drove her into a slow and painful suicide!"

"I didn't know it was going to end this way! Kira I swear, I never thought…God, Kira, please let me see her, I need to see her! Please, I'm begging you…You can do all you want, but please let me see her…Allow me to see my sins. Let me carry my burden! Please! I need to see her…"

"…" the man, Kira, vehemently watched as Heine's pride was slowly reduced into a pool of shame and tears, shaking with pure guilt and regret. He could feel his chest tightening painfully, making it so hard to breath. His head feels so light and fuzzy, making it hard to concentrate. Yet that didn't daunt him. He needs to let him know.

That he loves her more than anything else…

More than what that man can do.

"Why would I let such a pitiful piece of shit approach my sister? You deserve to rot here and pay for your sins. I don't care if you're the son of a magistrate or whatever shit. To me, you're nothing but a worthless piece of trash!"

With his head hanging in shame, he could see the drops of his tears staining the floor. "You've got to believe me…I never meant for this to happen…I swear…All I wanted was to have her back…please…" but his pleas and sobbing fell on deaf walls, as the man turned his back coldly and left.

"I just want to see her one last time…"

* * *

He found himself stirring from his sleep again. This time, the space next to him was empty. At first he thought "she" must have scooted on the farther end of the bed. He tried reaching out to her. Only to realize he was indeed alone. That was enough for him to fully wake up. It was like a splash of cold water, electrocuting his every sense. As he begins to panic, wondering where "she" is, he begins to wonder who he was looking for.

Where is he?

And why is he so concerned about finding this person.

Why does his chest feel so tight?  
Why does he feel so sad and hurt?

Why?

He stood up from the eternal white bed, and surveyed his surroundings for any sign of this person. But only the silent immaculate whiteness of the space stared back at him.

Who are you?

Where are you?

Why my chest does hurt so much?

Why aren't you here with me?

Why?

He begins to wander around the infinite vastness of white, in search of that person. He kept walking and walking, until the bed had disappeared from his sight. Lost in the endless space, he continued venturing, seeking that person out. As every time he takes a step, his chest would tighten and the pain inside his heart would twist tighter.

Finally he found a tiny speck from the white beyond. Ignoring the limping pain inside his chest, he begins to dash towards the speck. As he drew closer, he realized that his tears had begun to overflow. His chest feels heavier and the pain almost unbearable. He felt his legs collapse from the overwhelming pain. As he kneels down, sobbing, he noticed the speck was already in front of him.

It was a charred, broken wooden music box.

"…Ca…alli…"

"…galli…" as he delicately picked up the piece of the wooden box, there was a name that kept ringing in his head..

"…Ca…lli…"a name he shouldn't have forgotten…

"…Ca…Ca…ga…lli…"even if it meant his life…

"CAGAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIII!!!!"

His scream echoed throughout the entire vastness and emptiness of the space. His anguish and pain shattered the immaculate whiteness of the empty space, revealing a kaleidoscope of forgotten memories. Those precious moments that they spent together, staining the once blank space. He finally remembers it now. How can he forget about her? How can he do this to her?

He had just broken his promise to her…

He…of all people…

Betrayed her trust.

Abandoned her.

Left her alone

Made her cry

And most of all, he had hurt her so bad, that no punishment in this world can ever redeem him.

Ever.

"…_Even if this voice fades  
This melody shall not fade…_"

He noticed that there was someone standing in front of him. And he knew who it was. Dressed in that laced knee-high chiffon dress, those skinny yet shapely legs…

"…_I'm lost in thought_

_About the day_

_When I have to go_

_Without you.."_

This familiar voice...How was he able to forget such angelic voice?_  
_

_"...So I'll just wish_

_Upon a star_

_That'll you never_

_Stop smiling…._

_So long goodnight_…"

* * *

"Hey man, its okay, settle down! It must have been just a bad dream!" it was Dearka, patting his back .

"Dearka. Where am I? What's this?" he was dressed in a flimsy hospital gown, with wires, tubes and cables hooked on almost every part of his body. He was obviously panicking, as he begins to tug away his tubes, to which Dearka tried to stop.

"Dude, calm down! You're in a hospital. You fainted, remember?"

"Yes, I remember! I need to see her now!" he pushes Dearka off him, pulls off his IV, and peels away the BP cuff. Dearka watched in mute silence as his friend stands up and grabs his coat.

"What do you mean…who is it that you…wanted to see?"

"Her. Cagalli…" He sternly replied as he turned his back and left.

"Oh my fucking shit. He does remember everything now."

* * *

On the 5th day after being admitted to the ICU ward, Cagalli Yula-Athha's heart had taken for the worst. Unable to pump blood properly, her consciousness would drift back and forth. She can only stay awake for a few minutes or so, before again drifting unconscious. The intense pain that sacked her entire body was so immense that she had to be placed on heavy sedation. Weakened by her heart's inability to supply blood, she now relies on artificial means for her basic needs. Every breath she now makes relies on the aid of the ventilator. For nourishments, she depends on the supplements provided by an IV bag that's inserted into one of her major veins. She relieves thirst by sucking on ice chips provided by the nurses.

Kira Yamato-Athha, older brother to Cagalli, has now been reduced to on empty shell. He no longer attends his work or even his most important meetings. He has obviously neglected almost everything: from his own hygiene to his own pregnant wife, Lacus. He would sit by his sister's bed, patiently waiting for those brief minutes she'll open her eyes and smile back at him. Only in those moments will his old cheerful self would come back. Once she closes her eyes, and drifts back to sleep, he would revert back to his hollow form.

Lacus Clyne-Athha, wife of Kira, can only painfully watch over him, as she hides her own pain behind a mask. She knows how much he loves his little sister, and she understands that. She went through that same pain of watching your beloved die. Her father suffered 3 torturous years under the fangs of lung cancer. She understands that feeling of powerlessness and anxiety; regret and hate, pain and frustration. And the only thing she could do is stand by his side. But she knows she has her own limits. These growing feelings of jealousy and hate towards Kira's undiverted attention towards Cagalli are slowly twisting her insides. She can only hope that she'll be able to hold it in for a little longer...

Until that day…

…When Cagalli Yula-Athha forever bids Goodnight…

* * *

A/N:I'm really really really sorry for not updating for quite sometime. I also beg for your forgiveness, to those who e-mailed me and received no reply. Last semester drilled a hole into my skull and sucked it's life out. Seriously. I was so drained and exhausted, I didnt have time to answer any e-mails and stuff. The pressure increased after I learned I was included in the dean's list for last fall semester. I'm currently enrolled in Summer Semester, but they're all bullshit classes. I'm taking one Literature class. I'm hoping this class can help me in my writing. LoLz.

All I can say is that this is the turning point of the story. I've figured out a way on how to satisfy everyone's request in one heck of a twist. LoLz. Oh, and anyone going to Anime Expo this July? It's your once in a year chance to meet me, and beat me to death for being such a slow writer. No seriously, who's going? Lemme know. I would like to meet some of you peeps. Dont worry, I wont bring any weapons or armor. XD.

Lastly, anyone here drinks Ramune? Does the strawberry flavored ramune taste good? I usually (addicted) to the plain (bubblegum flavored) variant, but the store I go to ran out of it. I was forced to buy melon and strawberry. I tried Melon and it was kinda so-so. I'm dreading the strawberry. Last time I drank a strawberry flavored soda, my stomach went 360 and I was stuck in the toilet for at least half a day.

Finally (lolz. this is the final rant, promise!), Read and review. Read and rant. Complain, bash, or whatever. I need to know your response. Please?

* * *


	19. Gentle Lies

**Gentle Lies**

* * *

A crisp morning greeted the moist earth as the Great Sun slowly shared his warmth to the cold land. The birds in the trees filled the air with their finest songs and melodies, honoring the flourishing life that had gone stale from the bitter rain; flowers bloom their finest colors in gratitude to the Sun for bestowing them their much needed warmth after the long heavy days of merciless rains. As the warm embrace of the sun nestled, another grateful soul stirs open, greeting the morning with a smile and a song…

"…_Those wounds that consumed me are still hurting__  
__Your tender voice echoing, even now__  
__Please, make me cry a little__  
__"Goodbye" to the one I loved more than any other_…"

A brief knock on her door made her stop. Before she could even say "come in" the door opened.

"Good Morning, Cagalli, how're you feeling today?" Kira smiled as he rolled the breakfast cart into her room. She smiled and replied a soft "Good Morning."

"I have some french toast, bacon and Eggs Benedict and some warm soup for you to sip. I have some cranberry juice and a warm milk tea for you too." He dutifully laid the dishes on her breakfast bed tray on her lap. He kept his tight focus on preparing her breakfast, discreetly avoiding eye contact from his sister.

"Did you sleep good last night?" Cagalli softly asked.

"Of course, of course. "I also got you the morning newspaper and some magazines." Kira automatically diverted the topic. He knew what she was going to ask next. He just don't want hear or deal with it right now.

"How's Lacus? I haven't seen her since yesterday. Is she back at the hospital again?"

"Yes, yes. She in that fragile period right now, so I sent her there. The morning shift nurse is already downstairs. She'll be changing your bags in a bit." Kira's stoic tone just made Cagalli flinch inside. She watched her brother check her IV bags with sad eyes. She wanted to say something but she knew he would just pretend and ignore the issue. But she just can't leave it like that.

Cagalli grabbed her brother's hand gently. "Kira, I'll be fine, don't worry about me too much. Go to Lacus' side. She needs you more than I do. Especially these times. You need to be with her absolutely. _Please_." She tightened her hold on him, as if begging. _"Please?"_

Kira gave her a firm and dead look as he squeezed her hand. "Cagalli. You need me more than she does. _Especially this time._ I'll protect you as much as I could. Now, have your breakfast. The morning nurse should be on her way now." He loosened her grip and excused himself.

As the door closed, a tear started rolling down her cold cheek. She turned to look at herself at the mirror. Her complexion has somehow improved from the ashy hue to a slightly pinkish pale color. She gained a little weight, but still close to skin and bones. She can move independently a little, but not enough to stand on her own. She needs help getting out of bed and going to the bathroom. She still has those fainting spells, and some other complications, but over all, her health has improved well. The new medication Erica placed her on did its wonders on her the first day. Though it cannot cure her worsening condition, the palliative care it's providing her makes her feel a little calmer as she approaches _that day_. She feels like she can close her eyes peacefully and bid everyone farewell with a smile.

However, the growing rift between Kira and Lacus seems to be dragging her hopes down again. Though no one wants to admit it, but Lacus already left the mansion and has been staying at the hospital for some time now. And she's not there because she needs constant monitoring. Well, she does, but that was after the fact. Kira's been spending so much time tending to her that he's been neglecting his wife so badly. He doesn't talk to Lacus anymore unless it's absolutely necessary and ignores her whenever they meet in hallways or corridor. She has been reduced into an insignificant level, stripped of her status as Kira's beloved wife.

All because of her and her selfish decision. She needs to do something before everything's too late.

"Miss Cagalli?" the morning nurse knocked softly on her door.

"Yes, come in."

"Good morning, Miss, how are you feeling?" The morning nurse automatically began checking her monitors, tubes and lines.

"Doing ok, I guess. Thanks. You?"

"Fairing well, thanks. Ah, by the way Miss Cagalli, you have a visitor. Ms. Meer is here with somebody, but she insists that I shouldn't inform Mr. Yamato."

"Oh, that's weird. Well, Meer IS weird. Do you know who that person is?"

"Ah, I'm sorry. I wasn't told. But all I can say is that he is quite handsome."

"_He_?"

"Yes a fine looking man, I must add." The morning nurse smiled.

"Can you tell me more about this man, then?" A wave of anxiety envelopes her entire body. She struggles hard to defy the conclusion her mind is giving her but to no avail.

"Hmm… He looks quite familiar. But I can't quite put my finger on it." Cagalli's heart began beating loudly. Subtle tremors stir within her. Could it be?

But, it can't be possible, right?

"Oh, he has such tantalizing green eyes! Does that ring a bell to you?"

Her heart begins to scream loudly in her ears, as the tremors intensify within her. She desperately tries to calm her shaking body. Her frail form begins to curve in an effort to hide the quakes from within. Goosebumps crawl like maggots on her pale skin as the shuddering increased.

Why now? Just when she's already determined to face her end?

"…Meer…can't… see today…" A sick wave of anxiety overwhelms her senses, causing her to vomit.

"Miss! Are you ok?" Her heart rate was considerably high, her breathing labored. "Miss, calm down!"

"Tell Meer…can't…"cold beads of sweat lined her forehead, as her nurse starts to infuse her medication.

"Miss, I can't quite understand you. Calm down first Miss. Take deep breaths."

"Meer… See today…" those were her last words before her world flashed into pure immaculate white then to black.

* * *

"So what exactly do you plan to accomplish by coming down here? You do know that if Kira finds us here, he'll skin us alive, right?" Meer waited for the man's response quietly as she discreetly scrutinizes his from behind her sunglasses. He had undergone quite a significant change, she mused.

"I really don't have any plans or what so ever. All I want to do is to see her. I know I did a lot of unforgivable things to her, and the chances are high that she would refuse me. But still, I need to see her. I just need to see her." His voice echoed the sincerity of his feelings and straightforward determination.

This is the REAL Athrun Zala she knew. Not that sissy, immature, no good prick she met few weeks ago. There is no hint of hesitation or doubt within this Athrun. Gone are the arrogant and selfish demeanors his other self had. When she first heard from Dearka that Athrun's on his way, she was a bit skeptical about him making amends. But when she saw him at the airport, all different from how she remembered him few weeks back, she was frozen shocked.

"That's one cheesy reply. But I need to warn you, you're treading on a field of landmines. Especially with Kira and Cagalli. Cagalli's already given. Her health isn't fairing that well. I don't want to kill her prematurely with surprises. Kira's been having a lot if issues right now. I don't want you to end up like Heine." She knew Kira is usually out around this time, she decided it would be the perfect time to smuggle a wanted man in. In addition to that, not a lot of people use the back garden entrances, aside from the few people and the medics.

"Heine? What about Heine?"

"Wait, how much do you remember, as of now?"

"I recall most of my days in high school until college, I assume. But there are occasional holes that still need to be filled in. But if you tell me about it, I might remember."

"Hmmm. Let's just say, Heine owes you big time. You should talk to him after this. You have some unfinished beef with -"Before Meer could finish her sentence, the loud wailing sirens blasted through the air, followed by a burst of men dressed in white. She knew these people. They were the Emergency response team Kira and Erica formed in case of a medical emergency within the household. She felt a surge of tension building inside her.

The shuffling of feet storming through the entrance froze her in her tracks. This can only mean one thing. Could it be?

She turned to check on Athrun, only to find him gone. This isn't happening! He can't see her just yet! Not this time. She can't afford them to meet yet. Not in this kind of situation!

She steeled her emotions and went after Athrun. She cursed the confusing layout of the mansion. There are so many routes leading to Cagalli's room which one should she use? She needs to catch him before he sees her in that state! But wait! Cagalli new room is different from what she used to use before. He might head for that room instead. But what if he was able to catch up with the medics?

Argh. There's no need for over analyzing things! She decided to go for the route to the old room, which happens to be much closer. But the way there was no easier that a treck to a steep mountain. Doubt about her decision plagued her through out the entire time. She lost count how many time she wanted to turn back and use the other route, but she decided to trust her instinct.

And it paid off.

He was there. Standing in such a quiet form in this empty, vacant room. His steely back greets her, as she opened the door. He kept his gaze at the only open window in that room.

"Meer, is it ok if I stay here for a bit? I don't mind if she refuses to meet me, but at least allow me to stay here for a bit. I'll be ok. I just need to…"

Meer can clearly see the pain raging inside him. She wanted to do something for him, but she knew there's nothing she can do about it. Only _she_ can heal his wounds. "It's ok. Don't worry. I'll just go check on her, ok?"

She hates dealing with this kind of situation. It's simply not in her dictionary. But somehow she feels somewhat responsible for the matter. Leaving her no choice but to deal with it.

She found the head medic outside Cagalli's room, getting ready to leave. She felt a little calmer. Why else would these people leave so quickly if it wasn't that bad?

"How is she?"

"She's doing fine now. It seems she just had a panic attack. That new medication therapy she's on is really working its magic. If she had that kind of panic attack without that treatment, I would guarantee you she would not last."

"Thank you so much."

"By the way, we've been having difficulty in establishing contact with Mr. Yamato. We were instructed to inform him each time, but somehow, we can't get hold of him. Would you be so kind to inform him for us?"

"Ah, of course, that's not a problem."

"Very well then. We'll take our leave then."

Meer waited until the team was down stairs before entering her room. She opened the door quietly. She knew she would be resting after having an attack. The last thing she wanted was to wake up the poor thing. She just wants to see if she's doing fine.

"Meer, is that you?" her soft voice faintly echoed inside her room.

"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry!" Meer pulled a chair next to her bed and sat down.

"No silly, of course not. Can you help me sit up?" Cagalli struggled to pull her weight up with her frail, skinny arms. Meer tucked her arm under her armpit and on 3, she pulled her up. Cagalli thanked her as she elevated her bed's head at a 45 degree angle.

"How're you feeling right now?"

"I'm feeling a little weak, but good. I'm sorry if I scared you."

"It's ok, don't worry about me. The important thing is that you're alive. That's all that matters." she squeezed Cagalli's bony hand. She was so relieved to see her smiling again.

"Thanks. Ah, Meer…"

"Yes?"

"…Where is he?" Meer felt a cold shiver up her spine, followed by a legion of goosebumps crawling up her skin.

"Pardon?" Maybe she meant the medics? Or Kira? Her lame attempts at playing innocent failed big time. She knew better.

"…Athrun… "

Meer's heart stopped. She was lost for words to reply to Cagalli's question. She racked her brain for an appropriate reaction but her nervousness failed her.

"…Do you want to see him?"

"He came all the way down here to visit me. It would be terribly rude if I just turn him away."

"He remembers everything about you know though. Do you still wanna see him?"

"I have a hunch about that. The other him is too callous to care about me. The only logical explanation as to why he is here is that he already has his memories back. To be honest I'm quite scared, I don't know what to do." She smiled as she showed Meer her trembling cold hands. Meer smiled.

"But I just want to deal with this now, while I still have time. You do understand, right?"

"Of course. I'll get him for you."

* * *

The tension inside her room increased a hundred fold as Athrun entered. Meer excused herself and decided to stay out side to give them some space (and so that she can discreetly eavesdrop on them).

Upon entering her room, Athrun automatically froze up. A thick layer of distance and silence separated them from each other for a brief moment. Anxiety, fear, and apprehension filled the gaps where silence left empty. But time is ticking. And love is waiting.

"Cagalli…"

"YES?" her body jolted up. The rate of her speeding heart increased.

"I don't know what to say to you really. To be honest, I feel so overjoyed right now, I don't know what to do. But at the same time, I feel so scared and unworthy to be here, after all the things I've done to you. I would like to say 'please forgive me for the things I've done', but I'm aware of the weight my sins." His voice was obviously trembling. His composure is slowly breaking apart. She knew tears are flooding his eyes. She could just imagine the weight of guilt he's carrying inside of his chest…

But those seem insignificant to her right now.

All she can see him, finally here, calling out to her.

"Oh Athrun…its ok. I've forgiven you a long time ago. It wasn't your fault. You forg-"

It took her quite a while before her mind was able to register what just happened. The pair of steely arms wrapped around her frail body in a tight embrace, as he buries his head into the hollow of shoulder. It was as if she lost control of her own body, as they responded to his touch. Her arms returned the embrace; her head nestled at the base of his shoulder and her heart beating in the same exact tune and rhythm with his. Though she could hear his quiet yet labored breathing so clearly, she still could not believe the fact that she's back in his embrace again.

"…Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, I love you so much, oh god I don't understand how did I ever forget you? Oh my dearest Cagalli, my precious precious Cagalli…"

His scent filled her nostrils, filling her mind of those precious memories they've spent together. The warmth from his body begins to melt away all the doubt and fear hiding in her body. The tightness of his embrace made her frightened heart feel safe and at peace.

At last, she has finally found her home.

"…Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli, Cagalli…" How she longed for the time he'll finally call her name out like this. Feeling his arms around her once more, their hearts beat as one; their warmth melting each other's pretenses away; their tears staining away each other hearts while at the same time washing away their pain. These are the moment she's been longing for so long. She has found her paradise, her heaven.

He's finally back home.

Minutes ticked by slowly. Though the bed was big enough for two people, Athrun chose to lay so close to his precious. Their hands were locked tightly together. Cagalli's small head nestled safely on Athrun's arm. Occasionally, he would stroke her hair, or wipe away the stray strands on her face.

They are in their heaven.

Their perfect, tranquil paradise, where everything is perfect.

Or is it?

"Cagalli, I know this is quite sudden, after all I've put you through, and the possibility of you turning me down is high, but I still have to try…" he pulled her closer to him, their lips few centimeters apart.

His green emeralds stared deep into her amber orbs. "Will you marry me?" he sealed those words with a soft, innocent kiss. As their hungry lips parted, the foreboding silence seared them loudly apart.

"No. I don't want to."

* * *

[A/N] Lol after almost a year and half! I'm still alive! I do hope my readers are still alive or something ;_; . I've been really busy. I'm so sorry.

I'll _**try**_ to update _**weekly**_ starting now.


	20. Just be Friends

**Chapter 20**: Just be friends

* * *

Since that faithful day, a lot of things changed. Few came out just fine, allowing a so-so satisfactory closure of sort, such is the case with Cagalli and Athrun's relationship; others came out not so well. One such case was Lacus' petition for a divorce.

**_I remembered early yesterday morning_**

**_Why do I feel_**

**_As if I'm gathering piece of broken glass? Blood drips from my cut fingers_**

**_I wonder if we wanted to do these kinds of things_**

It was the reason why Kira was out that day. He received a call from Lacus' lawyers about the petition. At first, he was of course in denial, as with almost everything with his current personal life. He ignored it, as usual, claiming that petition was just from Lacus' hormones going berserk because of her pregnancy. He shrugged it off, chuckling, exclaiming that tomorrow, Lacus will give him a call about cancelling it or something.

However, when Kira arrived home, he almost lost it. First, he saw Lacus' attendants moving her belongings out of the mansion. He tried to stop them, but the lawyers were present and insisted their point. He managed to hold his temper out, thinking that at least he still has his dearest sister with him.

Or so he thought.

When he laid eyes on Athrun, everything came toppling down.

Athrun was having a snack by the waiting room, when Kira came in. He was just waiting for Cagalli to be ready, as she asked him if he could take her by the beach where they first met. He was against it, of course, considering her health, but she insisted otherwise. He can't really process what's the real deal between them, after she refused him down, but somehow, he feels like she meant the opposite. But he really can't insist about this topic, considering his issue with Kira. It was in this state of mind, when Kira came in. Surprised, by Kira's arrival, he almost dropped his tea as he stood up, offering the discreetly bewildered man his greetings. "Hey, Kira—"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHO GAVE ME PERMISSION TO EVEN COME HERE?"

Vases were tossed out, furnitures kicked, walls punched. "Kira, man, relax, let's talk first." Athrun tried to calm his friend out, but his words fell on deaf ears. Instead, a heavy blow landed on Athrun's face, sending him flying few feet away.

"GET THE FUCK OUT. GET THE FUCK OUT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. OUT!" With all the rage flowing through his veins, Kira grabbed the still disoriented Athrun by his collar and lifted him up. He was about to fling him across the room, when Cagalli entered the room.

"Kira! STOP!" Even with a weaken stature, she mustered her strength for that pivotal moment. She stood up from her wheelchair and flung herself between her brother and her 'lover'.

"Cagalli, Let go! Let the fucking GO!" He tried to peel her off him, as the attendants came pouring in, in a disgruntled effort of breaking up the fight.

"NO! STOP! YOU LET GO!" She coughed as she screamed, tightening her grasps on her beloved. Athrun, now with a bleeding nose and a swollen face, wrapped his arm protectively around her, trying to prevent her from collapsing from the floor. This infuriated Kira more, and viciously pulled her off him. She landed face down, motionless. While Kira did'nt notices this, Athrun and the others did. He was about to plant another fist into his already swelling visage when Athrun yelled out Cagalli's name.

"Cagalli!" Athrun scream finally pulled Kira into sanity, bringing him into the realization of his actions. Instead of receiving the punch, he returned the favor back to Kira, sending him airborne. "Get a hold of yourself, Kira!"

"Lady!" The attendants immediately rushed to their mistress, while the others called for the ambulance. Athrun picked her up from the floor and rushed out. With the servants tending to their injured mistress, the room became enveloped with silence, save for the raged breathing of a fallen man.

Feeling defeated, alone and broken, silent tears began streaming down his swollen cheeks, as he lay crumpled on the floor.

Where did he go wrong?

Why is this happening to him?

What exactly happened to his life?

Since when did things go off the beam?

After all the things he did, why is everything so fucked up now?

Why is he hurting so much, so much that he could barely breathe?

He lay there, motionless, all curled up in his pain and tears. His chest feels so heavy, so tiresome. His beating heart seemed so redundant now. Now that he has nothing.

Just few weeks ago he was so happy now that his sister has come back. She's not entirely sitting well with her weird plans but the important thing is, she's here. He was happy with that. And few months ago, he was overjoyed when he found out he was going to be a dad. Though he's not sure yet about his kid's sex, but he already bought baby stuff and had a room arranged as the nursery.

Oh right. He has to check with how the nursery is coming. Like a programmed robot, he stood up, with his pains, both physical and emotional, numbed. He started walking towards the nursery.

They painted the room baby blue, just like Lacus' insisted, despite not knowing the baby's gender. He tried to argue with her, saying that it's too masculine; as he was expecting a daughter, but Lacus' insisted that it'll be a boy, therefore baby blue. Plus, if ever she's wrong, baby blue has a feminine streak in it, so no worries.

He ran his fingers across the baby blue walls, the crib, baby toys littered around, boxes and cabinets for the baby. He imagined him playing his child, feeding him then burping the little tot after. Then after that, he'll lull his small treasure in his arms to sleep, while promising him that he'll be the best dad ever. Then Lacus will come in, spying on him. She'll be touched by this scene and give him a peck on the forehead.

**_I already knew deep inside my heart_**

**_That the most painful choice would be the best_**

**_My self-love refuses it and as a result, self-contradiction repeats_**

**_I wonder when we can talk_**

Lacus.

Lacus Clyne.

Lacus Clyne-Yamato. His beloved wife. His child. His unborn child.

Where are they now?

Why does this nursery feels so empty, so irrelevant.

Why does she feel so far away now?

Why does his world feel so empty?

Where did all these distance come from?

How could he let her disappear from him?

Why?

**_I shouted until my voice was dry_**

**_The echo reverberates in the empty air_**

**_Although there was nothing left_**

**_After the chains were removed_**

* * *

**_In this slowly decaying world_**

**_A path for my struggling self_**

**_I carve in your colorless smile_**

**_I pulled off the plug_**

"Lacus, are you ok?"Meer brought in a fruit basket for her cousin. With few weeks away and the weird sensations she's been feeling, she decided to check herself in the hospital where she can be monitored for any significant changes. At the same time, she can put herself at peace and distance herself from her husband.

Or should he say Ex?

"I served him the divorce papers." She fixed her gaze on the sullen look of the afternoon sky. Anytime soon, it'll be raining.

"You did what?" Meer almost dropped the chair she was pulling.

"I'm divorcing Kira." She wondered if it'll be raining tomorrow too.

"Hold your horses, how come I never heard of this? Have you really thought of this over? I mean, I know the current deal between you two, but I thought it was just a temporary thing, considering his sister's condition and all."

"He's not the Kira I married. I don't know this guy anymore. I'm tired of pretending." She really hopes for the rain to fall soon. The clouds look like they're already tired of carrying their load.

"What do you mean? Has this been going longer than expected? How come you never talked about this matter with me? With anybody?"

"At first, it didn't bother me. I knew he was just frustrated with Cagalli. I understood that. But when I needed him the most, he wasn't there. He insisted that Cagalli needs him more than I do. More than our baby do. Meer, I almost lost my baby because of him." Small wet drops started to trace lines on her window. It's starting to rain.

"Wait, what? When? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I can't go on living like this. Something has to change. I love him, I don't want to be apart from him, but I have to do something." Rain harder. Wash all these pain, please.

**_Fate that allowed us to meet_**

**_The darkness interrupts countless and relentless time_**

**_"So this is how it is..." I murmured_**

**_Somebody's tears flow down dried cheeks_**

Please, rain, wash them all my pain, and tell me that what I just did was the right option. That the pain I'm feeling is just temporary.

Meer could only embrace the curled form of her cousin, shaking from the tears and heartache raging inside, and hope that the rain could wash down everybody's heartache.

* * *

Meer didn't stay too long. She figured Lacus need more space. Plus she still needs to talk with Kira. That bastard. With all the stress he's putting on his pregnant wife, she almost lost the baby. As she was on her way out, she dialed up Kira's phone. Weird thing was, she though she saw Kira enter the elevator heading up Lacus' floor. The creepy part was, she thought she heard his ringtone as the elevator closed doors, few seconds late after the phone started ringing on her line. As she was about to chase after the elevator, she saw Erica rushing towards the ER followed by Athrun.

Not fucking good.

* * *

**_I realized at yesterday's quiet night_**

**_That even if I pick up the fallen flower leaves_**

**_It won't bloom back to its original form_**

**_The small death on top of my hands_**

**_Our time is frozen still_**

She felt bad when Meer left. She felt like she really didn't explain the situation to her and left her mind boggled. She was just overwhelmed with the decision she just did, and felt like she just had to let it out.

Oh well. She'll be back. I'll just explain it to her when she does. She smiled as she took a banana from the basket. She's been a little constipated lately, but to hell with it. This banana looked so scrumptious, as if it was begging to be eaten. And so she shall.

She was cheerfully peeling the banana's skin off when she heard her door open.

"Oh Mee-"

**_I remembered the season when we first met_**

**_And your sweetly smiling face_**

**_I push the present to the past and received the scars that we both got_**

**_Our hearts are full of thorns_**

Her heart stopped at the sight of the figure in front of her.

**_Even in this frustratingly continuing relationship_**

**_I sadly can't change my heart_**

**_I love you, I don't want to be apart from you_**

**_But I have to say it_**

It can't be…He's here…

**_The rain that pours on my heart_**

**_Dazed and terrified, even my vision is blurry_**

**_I anticipated the hurt _**

**_But my body can't move_**

Tears began rolling down her dried cheeks, as she examined the defeated form in front of her. Soaked from the heavy rain outside, his face swollen, as if somebody hit him hard (probably Meer?), and those eyes…

But…

**_Fate that connected us_**

**_Becomes undone and disappears into everyday life_**

**_Goodbye my loved one... This is the end_**

**_Now we look go on without looking back_**

She knows why he's here. But she has to steel herself from taking back her decision.

But those eyes…

**_Once more, once more_**

**_If my wish can come true_**

**_I want to be reborn many times_**

**_I'll go and meet you from that day_**

Those were the eyes of a defeated man. A man humbled by pain. They look similar to the eyes of the man she loved, yet somehow they seem so empty. So hollow.

**_I shouted until my voice was dry_**

**_The echo reverberates in the empty air_**

**_Although there was nothing left_**

**_After the chains were removed_**

"…I need you…Please come back…"

**_Fate that connected us_**

**_Becomes undone and disappears into everyday life_**

**_Goodbye my loved one... This is the end_**

**_Now we look go on without looking back_**

"I can't go on…not without you…I can't breathe without you…"

"…So please…"

…Don't leave me…

* * *

A/N: I was really touched by the past reviewers and pms by you all. I'm really sorry I havent been able to update this. You know the feeling where you get the idea, but you dont have anything to write it down with so you promise yourself that when you get home, you'll do it, then when you do get home, you forget about it entirely?

Chapter 21 is in the works. Thank you for the continuous support. I'm really happy and thankful for you guys.

**Credits:**

Just be friends -vocaloid/ Listen to the ballad version/piano...specifically Gero's, Rio or Sakurai...prepare some tissues... I bawwed when I first heard their cover.

Lyrics were taken from animelyrics dot com


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